The Ruling on Misyar Marriage and the Wife’s Waiver of Her Rights

Question:
Honorable Shaykh! You mentioned that a wife may waive her rights to her husband. Does this not make misyar marriage permissible, since there is no difference between the two matters?

Answer:
It is permissible for a woman to waive her rights, but not all of them, not all of them. Waiving the right to have a husband who is good to her, that is what is obligatory. If she says, “Look, you have no authority over me, I will come and go and do as I please, do not stop me, and you have no authority over me,” these are efforts. Look, marriage of women involves the relinquishment of the man’s authority (qawwamah) over the woman, is that not so?
Who is it now who protects his wife and guards her from being lost and from the encroachment of evil upon her if she is not with him? If he leaves her and she is not with you, and you do not know where she goes, who she sits with, or who she goes with, is this not a great harm? It exposes your wife, the one who shares your bed, to danger because she is absent from you and not under your care. This is a danger in misyar marriage. And they make it a condition. That the husband does not take a loan. No. He just comes and reserves it.
Thirdly, the children. If the wife becomes inclined to him and children come from her, who will they be with? Who will take charge of them? Who will raise them? Who will support them? She supports them, a weak woman, a young one, who does not care for them, and does not say, “I will give them the moment.” We say, the care of the children, their preservation, their upbringing, and the authority over them, who performs this? The woman, the woman is weak and cannot do it. Leave your children to be lost, or leave them with her relatives, who will bestow favors upon you and your children, meaning it is harmful.
So misyar marriage, if we look at the original ruling and the conditions are met, we say it is valid. But if we look at the harms that result from it and the corruptions that result from it, we say this is a matter that is not permissible. The matter is not permissible. And marriage is not only for desire, only. In marriage there are great calamities that are all wasted, and only desire remains. No. Is it valid? What results from it in terms of corruptions, we say it is not permissible. Yes.