What is the method for taking back a wife who has been divorced once and is still in her waiting period?
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The questioner : We ask you, Honorable Shaykh, to clarify the method for taking back a wife who has been divorced once and is still in her waiting period?
The Shaykh : Yes. The method of taking back a wife is to call two witnesses and say, "Bear witness that I have taken back my wife so-and-so," based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:[At-Talaq 65:2] meaning divorced women [At-Talaq 65:2] without going to the marriage officer and without writing a new contract. Now, if he takes her back without witnesses and says to his wife, "I have taken you back," that is correct, because witnessing the taking back is a recommended practice (sunnah). But here is a question: if a man divorces his wife with a single divorce without compensation, does she go to her family or does she stay in his house?
The questioner : Yes, naturally.
The Shaykh : She stays in his house, based on the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:[At-Talaq 65:1] Perhaps he will regret it in his heart and love her again, and she will remain in his house as if nothing had happened.
The questioner : The people’s practice now, Shaykh, is that at the slightest disagreement, he says, "Get out, may Allah grant you success, leave the house."
The Shaykh : This is wrong; there is no doubt that it is wrong.
The questioner : We ask Allah for safety.
The Shaykh : And she is not required to obey him. Rather, if she says, "I obey your command and leave the house," she says, "I will not stay in the house."
I support this view. But incidentally, I see that people now, unfortunately, are very numerous in their prayer in a terrible manner. If a man comes home and finds the woman has not made the tea, he says, "Why didn’t you make it for me?" She says, "I was busy with the children, or I am tired, or I am sleeping." He says, "Fine, you are a divorcee." We ask Allah for safety. This is wrong. Sometimes he says, "You are a divorcee," three times, which is worse and worse, and may Allah protect us. This is transgressing the limits of Allah and mocking the verses of Allah. When a man came to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and informed him that he had divorced his wife three times, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stood up angry and said, "Is he playing with the Book of Allah while I am among you?" Until a man stood up and said, "Shall I kill him, O Messenger of Allah?" The matter is not a triviality. And the wonder is that those who rush to divorce, the wonder is that if the woman becomes free from him, he finds no one to marry him, because he is a loser, poor with nothing, so he cheapens his wife, he cheapens his wife, even though he may not find anyone else. So, O brothers, Allah has directed your brothers to not rush in divorce, and that rushing in divorce will be followed by regret and loss. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Yes, and I tell you, then know that if you divorce her, for example, the first time without compensation and then take her back, the previous affection before the divorce will not return to her. In other words, it is not possible that his love for her after the divorce and taking her back will be like his love for her before the divorce, unless Allah wills. It must change. This is a man who does not care whether he divorces or not.
The Shaykh : Yes. The method of taking back a wife is to call two witnesses and say, "Bear witness that I have taken back my wife so-and-so," based on the saying of Allah the Exalted:
And when they have [nearly] fulfilled their term
فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّeither retain them according to acceptable terms or part with them according to acceptable terms. And bring to witness two just men from among you
فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ فَارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ وَأَشْهِدُوا ذَوَيْ عَدْلٍ مِّنكُمْThe questioner : Yes, naturally.
The Shaykh : She stays in his house, based on the saying of Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He:
Do not turn them out of their [husbands'] houses, nor should they [themselves] leave [during that period] unless they are committing a clear immorality. And those are the limits [set by] Allah. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has certainly wronged himself. You know not; perhaps Allah will bring about after that a [different] matter.
لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِن بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَ إِلَّا أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ وَمَن يَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ لَا تَدْرِي لَعَلَّ اللَّهَ يُحْدِثُ بَعْدَ ذَٰلِكَ أَمْرًاThe questioner : The people’s practice now, Shaykh, is that at the slightest disagreement, he says, "Get out, may Allah grant you success, leave the house."
The Shaykh : This is wrong; there is no doubt that it is wrong.
The questioner : We ask Allah for safety.
The Shaykh : And she is not required to obey him. Rather, if she says, "I obey your command and leave the house," she says, "I will not stay in the house."
I support this view. But incidentally, I see that people now, unfortunately, are very numerous in their prayer in a terrible manner. If a man comes home and finds the woman has not made the tea, he says, "Why didn’t you make it for me?" She says, "I was busy with the children, or I am tired, or I am sleeping." He says, "Fine, you are a divorcee." We ask Allah for safety. This is wrong. Sometimes he says, "You are a divorcee," three times, which is worse and worse, and may Allah protect us. This is transgressing the limits of Allah and mocking the verses of Allah. When a man came to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and informed him that he had divorced his wife three times, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stood up angry and said, "Is he playing with the Book of Allah while I am among you?" Until a man stood up and said, "Shall I kill him, O Messenger of Allah?" The matter is not a triviality. And the wonder is that those who rush to divorce, the wonder is that if the woman becomes free from him, he finds no one to marry him, because he is a loser, poor with nothing, so he cheapens his wife, he cheapens his wife, even though he may not find anyone else. So, O brothers, Allah has directed your brothers to not rush in divorce, and that rushing in divorce will be followed by regret and loss. Yes.
The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh : Yes, and I tell you, then know that if you divorce her, for example, the first time without compensation and then take her back, the previous affection before the divorce will not return to her. In other words, it is not possible that his love for her after the divorce and taking her back will be like his love for her before the divorce, unless Allah wills. It must change. This is a man who does not care whether he divorces or not.
Source
قناة «فضيلة الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين»، 82 - 86 ما كيفية الرجوع إلى المطلّقة طلقة واحدة وهي في العدّة؟ ابن عثيمين — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.