Combining the hadith "Three matters are serious even if said in jest" with the Prophet's (peace and blessings be upon him) command to seek the virgin's permission

The questioner:
May Allah reward you. Honorable Shaykh, he says: The hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) regarding the three women for whom seriousness is seriousness and jest is jest—how do you combine this with his (peace and blessings be upon him) command to seek the virgin's permission when she is married? Because what is practiced among the common people is that if a man gives his daughter to someone, she is bound to him and it becomes obligatory for him.

The Shaykh:
Yes.

The questioner:
He says, may Allah forgive him: The hadith of the Prophet . He says: How do you combine this with his (peace and blessings be upon him) command to seek the virgin's permission when she is married? Because what is practiced among the common people is that if a man gives his daughter to someone, she is bound to him and it becomes obligatory for him.

The Shaykh:
Giving is not the contract. The words of the contract, when he contracts and is joking, he says: "I have married off my daughter or my ward." The contract is valid, it is established by the available means, even if they are joking. The available means has no mixing. Divorce also has no mixing. Taking back a wife, if he takes her back, there is no mixing. Or freeing a slave, even the slave has no mixing. In the context of a contract, even if he does it.
And this does not conflict with his (peace and blessings be upon him) saying that the virgin is given in marriage, because the contract is established and she retains the option. She retains the option if she is not pleased, whether she is a virgin or a widow. She retains the option; if she wishes, she annuls the contract, and if she wishes, she ratifies the contract. Yes. Yes. And Allah the Exalted knows best.