Is it permissible for a Muslim woman to take a disbeliever as a friend and show loyalty to her in the hope that she will embrace Islam?
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The questioner : I work in a department where there are many Christians. We deal with them and sometimes we love them more than the Muslims. I have heard and read that this is not permissible, even though I fast, pray, wear the prescribed hijab, and fear Allah. Sometimes I argue with them to the point of hostility, but to no avail. Sometimes, or often, they lie about what I say, but after a day I return to speaking with them in the hope of their Islam, because they love me very much. I remain confused about this friendship, especially with one of them, for she does not harm me or wrong me. But I fear Allah the Exalted and I am afraid that there is a sin upon me in my friendship with her and my sincerity toward her. However, Allah knows that I greatly hope for her and her companions to enter Islam, and for that reason I have maintained my relationship with her. So, is there anything upon me in this?
The Shaykh : There is no doubt that a Muslim must hate the enemies of Allah and disavow them, for this is the way of the messengers and their followers. Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Mumtahanah 60:4], and He the Exalted said: [Al-Mujadila 58:22]. Accordingly, it is not permissible for you to have love and affection in your heart for the enemies of Allah, who are in reality your enemies. Allah the Exalted said: [Al-Mumtahanah 60:1].
As for your dealing with them with gentleness and kindness in the hope of their Islam and faith, there is nothing wrong with that, for it falls under the category of reconciling people to Islam. But if you despair of them, then deal with them as they deserve.
The Shaykh : There is no doubt that a Muslim must hate the enemies of Allah and disavow them, for this is the way of the messengers and their followers. Allah the Exalted said:
There has already been for you an excellent pattern in Abraham and those with him, when they said to their people, "Indeed, we are disassociated from you and from whatever you worship other than Allah. We have denied you, and there has appeared between us and you animosity and hatred forever until you believe in Allah alone
قَدْ كَانَتْ لَكُمْ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ فِي إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَالَّذِينَ مَعَهُ إِذْ قَالُوا لِقَوْمِهِمْ إِنَّا بُرَآءُ مِنْكُمْ وَمِمَّا تَعْبُدُونَ مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ كَفَرْنَا بِكُمْ وَبَدَا بَيْنَنَا وَبَيْنَكُمُ الْعَدَاوَةُ وَالْبَغْضَاءُ أَبَدًا حَتَّى تُؤْمِنُوا بِاللَّهِ وَحْدَهُYou will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred. Those - He has decreed within their hearts faith and supported them with spirit from Him
لا تَجِدُ قَوْمًا يُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ يُوَادُّونَ مَنْ حَادَّ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَلَوْ كَانُوا آبَاءَهُمْ أَوْ أَبْنَاءَهُمْ أَوْ إِخْوَانَهُمْ أَوْ عَشِيرَتَهُمْ أُوْلَئِكَ كَتَبَ فِي قُلُوبِهِمُ الإِيمَانَ وَأَيَّدَهُمْ بِرُوحٍ مِنْهُO you who have believed, do not take My enemies and your enemies as allies, extending to them affection while they have disbelieved in what came to you of the truth
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لا تَتَّخِذُوا عَدُوِّي وَعَدُوَّكُمْ أَوْلِيَاءَ تُلْقُونَ إِلَيْهِمْ بِالْمَوَدَّةِ وَقَدْ كَفَرُوا بِمَا جَاءَكُمْ مِنَ الْحَقِّAs for your dealing with them with gentleness and kindness in the hope of their Islam and faith, there is nothing wrong with that, for it falls under the category of reconciling people to Islam. But if you despair of them, then deal with them as they deserve.