Choosing a Wife: Between Beauty and Religion
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
May Allah’s peace be upon you. This questioner says: The standard for some young people in the matter of marriage has become beauty, and they no longer care about the woman’s religion or her character. In doing so, they are leaving behind the advice of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and excluding the impact a woman has on them if she becomes weak in her adherence to the religion. What is your guidance for these people?
Answer:
The guidance, as stated in the question, is that this contradicts the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in his sayingBulugh al-Maram 8:5. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged seeking a woman of religion.
Because a woman of wealth may be arrogant toward her husband because of her wealth. Likewise, beauty may make her pleased with herself, and the wicked may influence her. They influence her and lure her, or the envious may influence her and make her disdain her husband, saying, “He is not a match for you; you are beautiful.” And lineage is also a factor if she is of higher lineage than her husband’s. Perhaps that will make her arrogant toward him and make his life miserable. The purpose of marriage is not merely pleasure through beauty and the like. Rather, the purpose of marriage is compatibility between the spouses and good conduct between them, as well as the influence on the children and the raising of the children in the future. There is no doubt that what the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) advised is the very essence of benefit, and anything other than that contains harm.
So a person should strive for a woman of religion, whether she is beautiful or not. He should make religion the primary criterion. If beauty comes with it, that is an added good upon good. Or if lineage or wealth comes with it, that is an added good upon good. He should make religion the primary criterion, and if another merit is added to it, that is an added good. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you.
May Allah’s peace be upon you. This questioner says: The standard for some young people in the matter of marriage has become beauty, and they no longer care about the woman’s religion or her character. In doing so, they are leaving behind the advice of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and excluding the impact a woman has on them if she becomes weak in her adherence to the religion. What is your guidance for these people?
Answer:
The guidance, as stated in the question, is that this contradicts the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in his saying
A woman is married for four qualities, for her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion: so get the religious one and prosper.
تنكح المرأة لأربع لمالها ولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها، أظفر بذات الدين تربت يداكBecause a woman of wealth may be arrogant toward her husband because of her wealth. Likewise, beauty may make her pleased with herself, and the wicked may influence her. They influence her and lure her, or the envious may influence her and make her disdain her husband, saying, “He is not a match for you; you are beautiful.” And lineage is also a factor if she is of higher lineage than her husband’s. Perhaps that will make her arrogant toward him and make his life miserable. The purpose of marriage is not merely pleasure through beauty and the like. Rather, the purpose of marriage is compatibility between the spouses and good conduct between them, as well as the influence on the children and the raising of the children in the future. There is no doubt that what the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) advised is the very essence of benefit, and anything other than that contains harm.
So a person should strive for a woman of religion, whether she is beautiful or not. He should make religion the primary criterion. If beauty comes with it, that is an added good upon good. Or if lineage or wealth comes with it, that is an added good upon good. He should make religion the primary criterion, and if another merit is added to it, that is an added good. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you.
Source
لقاء مفتوح [الزلفي] — alfawzan.live (18:11)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.