The Response to Those Who Backbite the Community and the Etiquette of Debate

Question:
The second part of his question says: But if they speak about my group, backbite me, and accuse me, should I retaliate with two measures for every measure they used because they transgressed? Allah commanded us to transgress against those who transgress against us, or what? I hope so, because jealousy and talebearing have become widespread among Islamic groups, and their responses to one another are like the crescent moon. Why? Why, O Shaykh?

Answer:
, and not with shouting, but with the same, do not respond to them except with what they said, rather it is your right to use a good manner and kind words. If they say you made a mistake in such and such an issue, say to them: We did not make a mistake, we provided such and such evidence and such and such evidence, and investigate the matter gently, not with shouting, nor with violence, investigate the matter as if you are brothers, so when the evidence appears, the other party returns to the evidence, not with shouting and screaming, no, but you tell him: You did such and such and you have no evidence, we said: We have evidence for such and such, come let us discuss, because we are brothers, we discuss and investigate what is the evidence? What is the verse? What is the hadith that is with you and with us? We are brothers, Muslims are brothers, we investigate, so if the evidence appears with us, they join us, and if it appears with you, then it is with you, do not be fanatical, nor should you be fanatical, with a good manner, with kind words, just as Allah said the disbelievers, He the Exalted said and upon their Book. Because they are the People of the Book, the Jews and the Christians.
Disbelievers, and yet Allah says, "Do not debate the People of the Book ," because violence drives people away from the truth. Violence causes people to disperse. But with kind words and good manners, not with two measures, the truth is established. It brings people closer to the truth. Not with cursing or insulting, but with kind words: "My brother, such-and-such. My brother, such-and-such. My brother, Allah said such-and-such. The Messenger said such-and-such. So-and-so the scholar said such-and-such. Come, let us investigate the matter calmly. If it does not become clear to me, do not get tired. One, two, three, four, five sessions. Do not get tired until the truth becomes clear. This was how the Salaf (may Allah be pleased with them) were; they would investigate and debate.