The amounts demanded by the bride's family on the wedding night

Question:
There is a custom adopted by the people of the south, Jazan, where if a young man proposes to a girl, they demand a mahr (bridal gift), gold, and other things, and the husband accepts this. However, the issue is the night of entering the marriage; they do not allow the husband to enter with his wife until he pays an amount that can reach thirty thousand riyals, in addition to gold and other conditions. They stand as a shocking obstacle in the husband's way, and the amount must be paid. My question is: Is this amount that the husband paid lawful for her family or forbidden? And if he demands this amount back after the marriage is consummated, does he have the right to recover it? What is the ruling in such a case? Knowing that the girl's family has received their rights, and when I ask her father why he takes this, he says, "Do you want to marry my daughter for free after I raised her, worked hard for her, and brought her up?" And so on.

Answer:
It is that there is no limit set by the Shari'ah for the display, and if a group conspires on something and agrees upon it, whether little or much, there is nothing wrong with it, and it is lawful for the wife, and lawful for whoever the husband gives money to after that. But they should advise one another to reduce, lighten, facilitate, and not be extravagant. As for if a man agrees with another man to give him such-and-such a daughter or such-and-such a sister and they agree on this, then it is lawful and not forbidden. But they should accustom themselves to facilitating and easing matters among themselves, as you heard in the lecture, and not be extravagant. Because whenever Zayd and 'Amr are extravagant, others from their relatives and neighbors and the like will imitate them. The believer should not let greed prevent him from being extravagant, and he should look at the consequences so that he does not cause harm to the rest. He should look at the consequences, not be extravagant, not exaggerate in the mahr, and not in the feasts, so as not to open the door for others, and to be a cause of good. But if they agree with Zayd or 'Amr on a known mahr, or a known amount of dirhams, or a known amount of gold, and he gives the wife, or it is deferred, then there is no harm in this. But it is not permissible to exaggerate in increasing these matters, and it is not permissible to boast, brag, and be arrogant in these matters. Rather, the believer should seek the means of marrying off his daughter and sister, and finding a good, capable husband, even if the mahr is little, and even if the feast is small. This is better for him in this world and the Hereafter, and better for his community and the people of his land than competition, boasting, and extravagance.