Delaying Marriage Despite the Ability to Marry
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Question:
Some people are able to marry, but they delay it for a certain period. They may say, "I am young and have not yet reached the age of marriage," even though they do not lower their gaze from what is forbidden. What is the ruling on such a delay?
Answer:
If he is able, he must marry. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "O young men, whoever among you is able to marry, let him marry." This is a command, and the command implies obligation according to the stronger opinion. So if he is able to marry, it is obligatory for him to do so if he desires women and is pleased with women. He must marry as soon as he finds the means to do so. If one wife does not satisfy him, he marries a second. If the second does not satisfy him, he marries a third. If it is the fourth, he must strive to chaste his private parts and lower his gaze through lawful marriage. If one woman leaves him, praise be to Allah; otherwise, he may marry two, three, or four until he chastes his private parts, lowers his gaze, increases the offspring, and increases the community. This is one of the means of his safety and chastity in his sight and his private parts.
The point is that marriage is obligatory if one has the ability. He has no right to make excuses, saying "this" or "that," such as to complete his studies, to get a doctorate, to get a master's degree, to get a university year, or to build a villa. No, he should marry, even if he rents. From the time he builds and owns, he can rent; there is no harm in that. Even if he does not complete his studies, marriage helps him with his studies; it does not prevent him from studying. He might die before completing his studies, or he might disobey Allah before that and fall into lewd acts. So it is obligatory for him not to make excuses with these excuses. Satan is the one who hinders. Whoever finds in himself a need for women, even if he is young, fifteen or sixteen years old or something like that, and finds in himself an inclination toward women, looking at women, and loving ease with women, let him hasten to marry if he has the ability. Let his father, his uncle, and his maternal uncle hasten to help him with this so that they help him toward good and encourage him toward good, and do not discourage him. As for his claim about the future, as mentioned in the lecture, "I want to secure my future with a job, by building such and such, by saving such and such," these are matters with no basis. It is not permissible to cling to them; rather, they are among the steps of Satan and among the adornments of Satan. Perhaps years will pass and he will not achieve what he said, his age will grow, and he will lose interest in marriage due to the long duration and the excuses that Satan has adorned. Let him hasten to marry and rush to it, and let his father and relatives help him with it, so that perhaps he will be safe and successful, and perhaps he will escape from what Satan adorns with much of the seven. There is no power and no strength except with Allah. Because if he is able to marry, he is sinful if he does not. But if he is not able, then fear Allah as much as you are able. The Shaykh, may Allah preserve him, did not return to the Shaykh. Allah knows who has an excuse, and the scholar is not a proof. The proof is what Allah said and what His Messenger said. As for the scholar, the worshipper, and so-and-so, they are not a proof. He may have reasons that prevented him from marrying. He may not have desire for women. He may not have money with which to marry. He may have other reasons.
Some people are able to marry, but they delay it for a certain period. They may say, "I am young and have not yet reached the age of marriage," even though they do not lower their gaze from what is forbidden. What is the ruling on such a delay?
Answer:
If he is able, he must marry. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "O young men, whoever among you is able to marry, let him marry." This is a command, and the command implies obligation according to the stronger opinion. So if he is able to marry, it is obligatory for him to do so if he desires women and is pleased with women. He must marry as soon as he finds the means to do so. If one wife does not satisfy him, he marries a second. If the second does not satisfy him, he marries a third. If it is the fourth, he must strive to chaste his private parts and lower his gaze through lawful marriage. If one woman leaves him, praise be to Allah; otherwise, he may marry two, three, or four until he chastes his private parts, lowers his gaze, increases the offspring, and increases the community. This is one of the means of his safety and chastity in his sight and his private parts.
The point is that marriage is obligatory if one has the ability. He has no right to make excuses, saying "this" or "that," such as to complete his studies, to get a doctorate, to get a master's degree, to get a university year, or to build a villa. No, he should marry, even if he rents. From the time he builds and owns, he can rent; there is no harm in that. Even if he does not complete his studies, marriage helps him with his studies; it does not prevent him from studying. He might die before completing his studies, or he might disobey Allah before that and fall into lewd acts. So it is obligatory for him not to make excuses with these excuses. Satan is the one who hinders. Whoever finds in himself a need for women, even if he is young, fifteen or sixteen years old or something like that, and finds in himself an inclination toward women, looking at women, and loving ease with women, let him hasten to marry if he has the ability. Let his father, his uncle, and his maternal uncle hasten to help him with this so that they help him toward good and encourage him toward good, and do not discourage him. As for his claim about the future, as mentioned in the lecture, "I want to secure my future with a job, by building such and such, by saving such and such," these are matters with no basis. It is not permissible to cling to them; rather, they are among the steps of Satan and among the adornments of Satan. Perhaps years will pass and he will not achieve what he said, his age will grow, and he will lose interest in marriage due to the long duration and the excuses that Satan has adorned. Let him hasten to marry and rush to it, and let his father and relatives help him with it, so that perhaps he will be safe and successful, and perhaps he will escape from what Satan adorns with much of the seven. There is no power and no strength except with Allah. Because if he is able to marry, he is sinful if he does not. But if he is not able, then fear Allah as much as you are able. The Shaykh, may Allah preserve him, did not return to the Shaykh. Allah knows who has an excuse, and the scholar is not a proof. The proof is what Allah said and what His Messenger said. As for the scholar, the worshipper, and so-and-so, they are not a proof. He may have reasons that prevented him from marrying. He may not have desire for women. He may not have money with which to marry. He may have other reasons.
Source
ندوات الجامع الكبير مع الأسئلة - 45 — archive.org (28:03)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.
