The ruling on asking the fiancée for her consent during Hajj
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
No, no, no. This questioner says: Your Eminence the Shaykh, Honorable Shaykh 'Abd al-'Aziz (may Allah preserve him from all evil), I tell you that I love you for the sake of Allah, and do not forget us in your supplication during Hajj. Since before Hajj I was engaged to be married, is it permissible, Honorable Shaykh, if I call my family or… ask them whether they agreed or not? And is that considered part of the lewd talk?
The Shaykh:
Yes, we count, we count.
The questioner:
He says: Honorable Shaykh 'Abd al-'Aziz (may Allah preserve him), I tell you that I love you for the sake of Allah, and do not forget us in your supplication during Hajj. Since before Hajj I was engaged to be married, is it permissible, Honorable Shaykh, if I call my family to ask them whether they agreed to the marriage or not? And is that considered lewd talk? Please inform us, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh:
As for your saying that you love us for the sake of Allah, we say: May Allah love you for the sake of Whom you loved us. Loving one another for the sake of Allah is among the best of the means of nearness between Muslims. We ask Allah to grant you success in a righteous marriage, to bring you together in goodness, and to encompass all Muslims with His care. Our Lord, have mercy on us and on them, and forgive us and them all.
As for your question about whether she is consenting, there is no need for that. These are doubts and illusions as long as they have brought her to you and it has become apparent from them that she is consenting. So it is not befitting for you to look into anything that causes problems, as long as the apparent reality is that she is consenting and her family has brought her to you. There is no need for you to ask her, "Are you consenting?" or "Are you not consenting?" However, if there is doubt that you heard her father forced her, and that he brought her to you by force or by beating, and that she does not want you, then there is no harm in asking her. If she says, "I do not want you, and my father forced me," then do not approach her. Her father or anyone else has no right to force her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan an-Nasa'i 3264Sahih (Darussalam), and he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: . So if you have heard nothing but good, and it has not been said to you that she is being forced, do not ask. But if you hear that she is being forced, and that her father forced her and wronged her, you may wish to inquire. If she consents after that or is pleased, there is no harm in asking her. If she says, "Yes, I am pleased," then praise be to Allah. If she says, "No, I am being forced and wronged," then do not approach her. Let her return to her family and do not approach her. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you, and may He reward you with good.
No, no, no. This questioner says: Your Eminence the Shaykh, Honorable Shaykh 'Abd al-'Aziz (may Allah preserve him from all evil), I tell you that I love you for the sake of Allah, and do not forget us in your supplication during Hajj. Since before Hajj I was engaged to be married, is it permissible, Honorable Shaykh, if I call my family or… ask them whether they agreed or not? And is that considered part of the lewd talk?
The Shaykh:
Yes, we count, we count.
The questioner:
He says: Honorable Shaykh 'Abd al-'Aziz (may Allah preserve him), I tell you that I love you for the sake of Allah, and do not forget us in your supplication during Hajj. Since before Hajj I was engaged to be married, is it permissible, Honorable Shaykh, if I call my family to ask them whether they agreed to the marriage or not? And is that considered lewd talk? Please inform us, may Allah reward you.
The Shaykh:
As for your saying that you love us for the sake of Allah, we say: May Allah love you for the sake of Whom you loved us. Loving one another for the sake of Allah is among the best of the means of nearness between Muslims. We ask Allah to grant you success in a righteous marriage, to bring you together in goodness, and to encompass all Muslims with His care. Our Lord, have mercy on us and on them, and forgive us and them all.
As for your question about whether she is consenting, there is no need for that. These are doubts and illusions as long as they have brought her to you and it has become apparent from them that she is consenting. So it is not befitting for you to look into anything that causes problems, as long as the apparent reality is that she is consenting and her family has brought her to you. There is no need for you to ask her, "Are you consenting?" or "Are you not consenting?" However, if there is doubt that you heard her father forced her, and that he brought her to you by force or by beating, and that she does not want you, then there is no harm in asking her. If she says, "I do not want you, and my father forced me," then do not approach her. Her father or anyone else has no right to force her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
and a virgin should be consulted by her father, and her permission is her silence.
الْبِكْرُ يَسْتَأْمِرُهَا أَبُوهَا وَإِذْنُهَا صُمَاتُهَاDo not marry a previously married woman until you consult her, and do not marry a virgin girl until you seek her permission. When asked, "How is her permission?" he said, "That she remains silent."
لا تنكح الأيام حتى تسامر، ولا تنكح البكر حتى تستأذن، وإذا تقول كيف إذنها؟ قال أن تسكتThe presenter:
May Allah reward you, and may He reward you with good.
Source
فتاوى الحج 1410 هـ - 2 — archive.org (32:26)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.