The ruling on swearing an oath to one's wife that she will not return if she goes to her parents' home
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
And another says: I am a resident of al-Qubayn, and I came specifically for this question. I am Jordanian, and during my leave, a disagreement occurred with my wife. I swore this oath upon her, swearing by Allah that if she goes to her parents' home during my absence, she will never return to the house. I reject this separation, and she has sent me a message saying she wants to go visit her family. Does the oath of divorce take effect on her? Please give us a ruling, may Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
This falls under the category of threats, and this oath that if she goes, she will not return, is also a matter of threat and warning. After this, you are at your option. If you divorce her, there is no harm, and if you do not divorce her, there is no harm. However, the better course for you is not to divorce her if she is good and righteous. So the better course for you is not to divorce her and not to be harsh, provided her family is good; do not be harsh. But if her family is not good, do not go to them except in a state of conflict. As for if they are good, there is no reason for harshness or restriction. Allah says, “And live with them in kindness,” and it is not kindness to forbid her from her family or to prevent her from seeing them. But if her family is not good and they lead her to corruption and evil, then prevent her, even if you are present. And never rush into divorce. This oath is not a matter of divorce, nor is it a matter of threat; you threaten her, and you are at your option. If you wish, you act on the threat, and if you wish, you do not act on the threat. Yes.
The questioner:
Meaning the status of the oath becomes a mere oath.
The Shaykh:
The ruling is that of a threat. He says to her, "You will not return," meaning "I will divorce you." This is the apparent meaning of his words. This is a threat. If a person says to another, "I will hit you," and then does not hit him, nothing happens.
The questioner:
Yes. Okay, Shaykh, does he have to expiate for his oath or not?
The Shaykh:
He does not have to expiate for it.
The questioner:
If she goes to her parents' home.
The Shaykh:
If she goes, she says, "You have broken your oath."
The questioner:
He chooses.
The Shaykh:
If he does not do anything, he has the choice. Yes.
And another says: I am a resident of al-Qubayn, and I came specifically for this question. I am Jordanian, and during my leave, a disagreement occurred with my wife. I swore this oath upon her, swearing by Allah that if she goes to her parents' home during my absence, she will never return to the house. I reject this separation, and she has sent me a message saying she wants to go visit her family. Does the oath of divorce take effect on her? Please give us a ruling, may Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
This falls under the category of threats, and this oath that if she goes, she will not return, is also a matter of threat and warning. After this, you are at your option. If you divorce her, there is no harm, and if you do not divorce her, there is no harm. However, the better course for you is not to divorce her if she is good and righteous. So the better course for you is not to divorce her and not to be harsh, provided her family is good; do not be harsh. But if her family is not good, do not go to them except in a state of conflict. As for if they are good, there is no reason for harshness or restriction. Allah says, “And live with them in kindness,” and it is not kindness to forbid her from her family or to prevent her from seeing them. But if her family is not good and they lead her to corruption and evil, then prevent her, even if you are present. And never rush into divorce. This oath is not a matter of divorce, nor is it a matter of threat; you threaten her, and you are at your option. If you wish, you act on the threat, and if you wish, you do not act on the threat. Yes.
The questioner:
Meaning the status of the oath becomes a mere oath.
The Shaykh:
The ruling is that of a threat. He says to her, "You will not return," meaning "I will divorce you." This is the apparent meaning of his words. This is a threat. If a person says to another, "I will hit you," and then does not hit him, nothing happens.
The questioner:
Yes. Okay, Shaykh, does he have to expiate for his oath or not?
The Shaykh:
He does not have to expiate for it.
The questioner:
If she goes to her parents' home.
The Shaykh:
If she goes, she says, "You have broken your oath."
The questioner:
He chooses.
The Shaykh:
If he does not do anything, he has the choice. Yes.
Source
ندوات الجامع الكبير مع الأسئلة - 43 — archive.org (43:55)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.