Dealing with a wife who requests divorce and pleasing her with kind words

The questioner:
The presenter: I have a wife, and I provide for her clothing, food, drink, and housing, but she asks me for [something] and I am unable to provide it. Problems occur between us daily, and I have come to dislike entering the home because of her. She asked me for a divorce while she is in her ninth month of pregnancy. I am employed, and I have done the impossible to please her, but she refuses. Please advise us, may Allah reward you with good.

The Shaykh:
A person of sound mind and noble character is helped by Allah to please his wife with kind words, sweet and pleasant phrases, good conduct, and good companionship, and then things will settle down.
A woman is weak; when she sees kindness, excellence, good companionship, soft speech, and good promises from her husband, her character improves and her behavior straightens out. But with violence, harshness, arrogance, and indifference to her words, this adds to the trouble and causes problems to lengthen and persist. A man should have softness, compassion, kindness, gentleness, and a good manner. Be hopeful, if Allah wills, things will become easy. Be hopeful, if Allah wills, things will become easy. Be hopeful for good, O daughter of so-and-so, O mother of so-and-so, be hopeful for good. Kind words, a good tongue—even if it lies, it does no harm. There is no harm in pleasing her and lying until Allah opens the door for him and he is safe.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Abu Kathir (may Allah be pleased with him), the son of Abi Harbah, said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) grant a dispensation in three matters, and I did not hear him grant a dispensation in anything except in these three. Then he mentioned the three matters: the statement of a man to his wife, and the statement of a woman to her husband. The first is in war, the second is in reconciliation between people, and the third is in the statement of a man to his wife and a woman to her husband. So there is no harm in a man telling her something and lying, or her telling him something and lying, if it concerns their private matters and what pleases one of them regarding the other. He says, "I will buy you this," or "I will do this," or "I will do that," or "We will buy a dress," or "We will buy a suitable dress." That is, he makes good promises, even if his intention is that he will not fulfill them because he is unable to, but it is for the sake of making her heart happy, for the sake of excellence, for the sake of kindness, and for the sake of fulfilling desires, even if only with kind words, until Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) opens the door.
And the most important thing is all of it: softness of character, good character, kind speech, and avoiding harshness and severity. Yes.

Another questioner:
Do not say, "If I had not left, O Shaykh."

The Shaykh:
Yes.

Another questioner:
Let the children leave.

The Shaykh:
If it is not called for by a need, there is no harm, and the matter is permissible. If it is not called for by a need, there is no need for lying. But if it is called for by a need, there is no harm.