The Righteous Wife's Position Toward a Fasiq or Deviant Husband
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The questioner: I assumed that he is in clear disobedience where there is no disagreement about it, so what is the position of the obedient and righteous wife regarding her husband? Does that mean she declares war on him? Or does she consult with him in the best manner? There is no doubt that it must be so, and I would like to remind you that many righteous wives today live under the protection of husbands who, at the very least, are open sinners, because some of them do not pray, and some drink intoxicants. When we tell them with extreme frankness, "It is not permissible for you, daughter of the honorable, to live under this open sinner," she returns and says, "Where am I to go? What am I to do? I have such and such a child from him." And this, naturally, according to the knowledge I have, is not an excuse.
Another questioner: Why does he want?
The Shaykh: Ah, but let me tell you that if there are two spouses, meaning they are righteous and in agreement, but a misunderstanding arises between them regarding an issue—do you think this is permissible in the Shari'ah or not?—in this case, it is obligatory for the committed, righteous Muslim wife to know how to accommodate her husband so that discord does not arise between them. And in that case, and in that case, how will it be? And upon you be peace. Praise be to Allah for your safety. How are you? Praise be to Allah. Please, go ahead. In that case, the problem will become bigger. So it is obligatory for the wife to accommodate the righteous husband, and that is by mutual advice. But when the husband is not righteous, but rather a fasiq (open sinner)—he does not pray, he drinks khamr (intoxicants), and so on—then we are the first to advise the righteous wife. If divorce were in her hand, we would tell her to divorce him. Many women today use the word "divorce," saying, "I want to divorce this husband," out of ignorance, because divorce belongs to the man. But in this case, if a wife is afflicted with a fasiq husband, the solution is for her to seek khul' (divorce at the wife's request for compensation). And in that case, the Shari'ah judge, if he truly rules by the Shari'ah, will respond to her and separate her from her fasiq husband, unless this fasiq promises to reform his conduct and to call upon and repent to his Lord. I think I have answered your question.
Another questioner: Excuse me, sorry, Professor, excuse me, these matches and the team are not disobedience.
The Shaykh: Daughter of the honorable, I have answered you.
Another questioner: Yes, because of the pressure, it is not on you.
The Shaykh: I have answered you, may Allah guide you. I told you, listen, regarding the issue of images today, there are great scholars who have their weight, and although we are not with them, they say that these images are not like hand-drawn images; photographic images and video images are not forbidden.
Another questioner: I am not asking as a question, but I am revealing the 'awrah (part of the body that must be covered); they play in shorts.
The Shaykh: Yes, if you are addressing the issue from that side, we tell you, yes, one looks at the 'awrah, yes. Do not be long-winded, this is not permissible. But the play, when it is running, even if the players are women, there is the reason for which looking is forbidden. Perhaps you distinguish with me that there is something forbidden in itself and something forbidden for another reason. Do you know this? It must be clear. When the Lawgiver forbade looking at women, it was from the perspective of sadd al-dhara'i' (blocking the means to harm). But if looking does not lead to harm, then this glance is excused. And you, even if you do not watch these matches, whether they are real or virtual, you must have been afflicted one day to see, even on television, men playing, yes, and their thighs exposed, yes, because even Muslims, unfortunately, commit this violation. So a person does not feel in this situation that his gaze will go to scrutinize this 'awrah, because the heat of the play diverts the viewers from enjoying the forbidden glance. So these are matters that require some precision. Therefore, I advise that a woman does not create a disagreement between herself and her husband over such an issue. If she can, in the best manner, first, not bring the television into her home, and second, not allow her children to look at such matches, that will be the straight path.
Another questioner: She does not allow it and does not bring it into her home, but for example, her father takes them to go to your aunt's, and at your aunt's they watch this thing, not just at yours.
The Shaykh: Yes, so in that case, what is the treatment other than the way I told you? "Saddu wa qaribu" (Do not fight and reconcile). Do you know this hadith? In sha Allah, "Saddu wa qaribu." Okay, I have a guest now. Do you have anything else?
Another questioner: Why does he want?
The Shaykh: Ah, but let me tell you that if there are two spouses, meaning they are righteous and in agreement, but a misunderstanding arises between them regarding an issue—do you think this is permissible in the Shari'ah or not?—in this case, it is obligatory for the committed, righteous Muslim wife to know how to accommodate her husband so that discord does not arise between them. And in that case, and in that case, how will it be? And upon you be peace. Praise be to Allah for your safety. How are you? Praise be to Allah. Please, go ahead. In that case, the problem will become bigger. So it is obligatory for the wife to accommodate the righteous husband, and that is by mutual advice. But when the husband is not righteous, but rather a fasiq (open sinner)—he does not pray, he drinks khamr (intoxicants), and so on—then we are the first to advise the righteous wife. If divorce were in her hand, we would tell her to divorce him. Many women today use the word "divorce," saying, "I want to divorce this husband," out of ignorance, because divorce belongs to the man. But in this case, if a wife is afflicted with a fasiq husband, the solution is for her to seek khul' (divorce at the wife's request for compensation). And in that case, the Shari'ah judge, if he truly rules by the Shari'ah, will respond to her and separate her from her fasiq husband, unless this fasiq promises to reform his conduct and to call upon and repent to his Lord. I think I have answered your question.
Another questioner: Excuse me, sorry, Professor, excuse me, these matches and the team are not disobedience.
The Shaykh: Daughter of the honorable, I have answered you.
Another questioner: Yes, because of the pressure, it is not on you.
The Shaykh: I have answered you, may Allah guide you. I told you, listen, regarding the issue of images today, there are great scholars who have their weight, and although we are not with them, they say that these images are not like hand-drawn images; photographic images and video images are not forbidden.
Another questioner: I am not asking as a question, but I am revealing the 'awrah (part of the body that must be covered); they play in shorts.
The Shaykh: Yes, if you are addressing the issue from that side, we tell you, yes, one looks at the 'awrah, yes. Do not be long-winded, this is not permissible. But the play, when it is running, even if the players are women, there is the reason for which looking is forbidden. Perhaps you distinguish with me that there is something forbidden in itself and something forbidden for another reason. Do you know this? It must be clear. When the Lawgiver forbade looking at women, it was from the perspective of sadd al-dhara'i' (blocking the means to harm). But if looking does not lead to harm, then this glance is excused. And you, even if you do not watch these matches, whether they are real or virtual, you must have been afflicted one day to see, even on television, men playing, yes, and their thighs exposed, yes, because even Muslims, unfortunately, commit this violation. So a person does not feel in this situation that his gaze will go to scrutinize this 'awrah, because the heat of the play diverts the viewers from enjoying the forbidden glance. So these are matters that require some precision. Therefore, I advise that a woman does not create a disagreement between herself and her husband over such an issue. If she can, in the best manner, first, not bring the television into her home, and second, not allow her children to look at such matches, that will be the straight path.
Another questioner: She does not allow it and does not bring it into her home, but for example, her father takes them to go to your aunt's, and at your aunt's they watch this thing, not just at yours.
The Shaykh: Yes, so in that case, what is the treatment other than the way I told you? "Saddu wa qaribu" (Do not fight and reconcile). Do you know this hadith? In sha Allah, "Saddu wa qaribu." Okay, I have a guest now. Do you have anything else?
Source
سلسلة الهدى والنور، المجلس 991 — d3watuna.com (2:16)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.