The Ruling on Making Divorce Conditional and the Expiation for an Oath

The questioner:
I said to my wife, in a state of anger toward her, “By Allah, if you go to your family’s house for six months, you are divorced three times.” Is the divorce obligatory, and does she owe the expiation for the oath?

The Shaykh:
A person of sound mind should not rush into divorce. A person of sound mind should handle matters without resorting to divorce; he should handle matters with promises, threats, discipline, and warnings, without divorce. He should know that if she straightens out, he should threaten her with some humiliation or withholding some of her requests, and keep divorce far away. But the one who threatens her with divorce is in one of two states. One is that he intends to carry out what he wants, meaning that if she fails to do what he said, the divorce takes effect. In this case, he gets what he intended, and the divorce takes effect. If he says, “By Allah,” or says, “If you stay with your family for six months, or one day, or two days, or so much, or so much, you are divorced,” and he intends to divorce her, the divorce takes effect. Or if he says, “If you talk to so-and-so, you are divorced,” and he intends divorce, the divorce takes effect. Or if he says, “If you go to so-and-so’s house, you are divorced,” or “I am divorced if you go to so-and-so’s house,” and he intends that, the divorce takes effect. The Chosen One (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Actions are only by intentions, and every person will have what he intended.” The one who intends to threaten and warn her, and does not intend to separate from her, but intends to frighten and warn her, and says, “If you insult so-and-so, you are divorced,” or “If you visit so-and-so, you are divorced,”

The presenter:
This.

The Shaykh:
or “If you go to your family’s house without my permission, you are divorced,” intending to frighten and warn her, and not intending to separate from her, and Allah knows what is in his heart; he only intended to warn. This falls under the ruling of a true oath, and he owes its expiation if she fails to meet the requirement and disobeys him. He owes the expiation for the oath, just as if he said, “By Allah, you will not go,” or “By Allah, you will not do such and such.” The ruling is that of a true oath, according to the most correct opinion of the scholars, as a group of scholars from the Salaf issued this fatwa in the era of the Tabi'un, in the era of the Companions. This is also the position of Abu al-Abbas Ibn Taymiyyah, Shaykh al-Islam (may Allah have mercy on him), and the scholar Ibn al-Qayyim, and a group of scholars from the early generations and others. Because this happens frequently among people for the sake of frightening and warning, not to effect a divorce. However, if he makes divorce conditional on something that is not of the nature of a threat, such as “If Ramadan enters, you are divorced,” “If you give birth, you are divorced,” or “If you become pregnant, you are divorced,” the divorce takes effect in this case, and the like of that. Yes.