Dealing with a father who insists on abandoning prayer and providing for him
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
Honorable Shaykh. This common issue: my brother does not pray, and the evidence has been established against him. Sometimes our father asks us to help him financially. The question is: what is required of us? Is it obligatory to obey our father in this, given that he is insistent on his action?
Answer:
Advising is obligatory with all people, and with a parent it is all the more so. Therefore, it is obligatory for you to advise him, warn him of Allah, and call him to repentance, and to emphasize this to him. This is obligatory upon you.
As for providing for him, this is his right upon you. “And be kind to both parents,” even if he is deviant or a disbeliever, it is his right upon you that you provide for him if he needs it. His saying, Glorified and Exalted is He:[Luqman 31:14-15].
And treat them well, even if he is like this, by providing for them and speaking kindly to them, even if he is like this. But in matters of religion, no, do not obey them. In religion, do not obey the parents or anyone else. There is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator. Asma’ bint Abi Bakr al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with her), the wife of al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam (may Allah be pleased with him), her mother came to her while she was a disbeliever, asking for her assistance. Her mother, a disbeliever, asked for her assistance, so Asma’ sought a ruling from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). She said: This is a matter of reciprocity and kindness.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you
Honorable Shaykh. This common issue: my brother does not pray, and the evidence has been established against him. Sometimes our father asks us to help him financially. The question is: what is required of us? Is it obligatory to obey our father in this, given that he is insistent on his action?
Answer:
Advising is obligatory with all people, and with a parent it is all the more so. Therefore, it is obligatory for you to advise him, warn him of Allah, and call him to repentance, and to emphasize this to him. This is obligatory upon you.
As for providing for him, this is his right upon you. “And be kind to both parents,” even if he is deviant or a disbeliever, it is his right upon you that you provide for him if he needs it. His saying, Glorified and Exalted is He:
(14) And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. (15) But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًاAnd treat them well, even if he is like this, by providing for them and speaking kindly to them, even if he is like this. But in matters of religion, no, do not obey them. In religion, do not obey the parents or anyone else. There is no obedience to a created being in disobedience to the Creator. Asma’ bint Abi Bakr al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with her), the wife of al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam (may Allah be pleased with him), her mother came to her while she was a disbeliever, asking for her assistance. Her mother, a disbeliever, asked for her assistance, so Asma’ sought a ruling from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). She said:
My mother came to me, and she was desiring, desiring, meaning, assistance. Should I maintain ties with her? He said: Yes, maintain ties with your mother.
إن أمي أتت وهي راغبة راغبة يعني في المساعدة أفأصلها؟ قال نعم صلي أمكThe presenter:
May Allah reward you
Source
75-اللقاء الأسبوعي مع الشيخ صالح الفوزان - 20 — archive.org (49:33)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.