The ruling on writing on graves and painting them with whitewash

Question:
Another questioner says: What is the ruling on writing and painting on graves so that the visitor can identify the grave of his deceased relative when he visits?

Answer:
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade writing on graves, plastering them, and burning incense on them, as well as building structures over them, because these things lead to exaggeration regarding them and calling upon them instead of Allah. Therefore, graves should be left as they were when buried; nothing should be written on them, they should not be plastered, and they should not be painted with whitewash, because whitewash is like plastering. It is not permissible to color them so that they stand out from others, lest the ignorant think that this is the grave of a wali (close friend of Allah) or that it benefits whoever visits it. They would say that these marks were made only because he has a special status. So, there is no objection to a visitor placing a mark on the grave of his brother or relative that only he knows, such as a stone. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) placed a stone on the grave of Uthman ibn Maz'un so that he could visit it (peace and blessings be upon him), because the stone is known only to the one who placed it, and no one knows its purpose. However, writing draws attention, as does plaster or whitewash or anything else. This draws attention, and the ignorant person thinks that this was done only to distinguish it from others. This is one of the means to shirk (associating partners with Allah). Yes.