Treating Tension, Lack of Self-Confidence, Dropping Out of Studies, and Going to the Doctor
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
It seems that a large portion of this episode is for our sisters. Also, here is a message from a sister of ours in al-Taif. The sender says: I am a university student. I complain of tension, confusion, and lack of self-confidence, to the point that I cannot stand before the female students to explain the lesson. I am on the verge of graduation, and I cannot go to a doctor on my own because my family is ignorant of many matters. My father and mother firmly refuse and prefer that I be expelled and leave my studies. May Allah reward you with good, for I am confused in this matter. May Allah grant you success.
The Shaykh:
If it is possible for you to complete your studies, that is better. If it causes you hardship, then you should follow what is easiest for you. If the easiest option is to leave your studies, there is no harm in that.
The questioner:
Yes.
The Shaykh:
As for standing in front of the female students to explain the lesson, that is not obligatory. If it is possible and you are able to do it, there is no harm. If it is not possible, you should continue your studies, even if you cannot train in teaching. Perhaps this will go away, if Allah wills. Perhaps this temporary condition will go away in the future.
The questioner:
May Allah be magnified. Does Shaykh Salih hold that this fear will go away with practice, skill, and training?
The Shaykh:
Perhaps with practice this thing will go away, or perhaps this thing is a temporary condition that will go away by the permission of Allah. The important thing is that she does not despair of healing, by the permission of Allah.
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good. If she went to a female psychologist, even if the father did not know and even if the mother did not know, does Shaykh Salih see any objection to this?
The Shaykh:
There is no objection to that. But I do not see that the father or mother should object to her going to a female doctor to receive treatment, because this is in her interest and there is no harm in it. As long as she is going to a female doctor, there is no concern. The concern is in her going to a male doctor.
The questioner:
Good, good. May Allah reward you with good and do you good. It seems that the father and mother’s objection is because she will be seeing a male doctor. But if it is to a woman specialized in psychiatry, perhaps they will not object, if Allah wills. Shaykh Salih.
The Shaykh:
They will not object, if Allah wills. And if there is extreme necessity, let her go to a male doctor. Allah, Exalted and Majestic, says:[Al-An'am 6:119]. If a woman is compelled to seek treatment and there is no female doctor and only a male doctor exists, there is no harm in her going to the male doctor to the extent of the necessity, but with a mahram (close relative) present. Good. And there should be no seclusion with the doctor in the place of treatment; a mahram should be with her, and someone who removes the seclusion should be with her. Yes?
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good. The rulings are extremely clear, as you have mentioned, Shaykh Salih. What do you say to the father and mother in such a situation?
The Shaykh:
Yes, we tell them: Listen to the answer, or let them hear it. We tell them: You must take care of your daughter, not leave her to the illness, and seek beneficial treatment for her. Seek a Muslim female doctor to take charge of her treatment. If the matter becomes narrow and she needs to see a specialist doctor, does she go, or does a mahram go with her to see the doctor? Perhaps Allah will facilitate a healing cure for her.
The questioner:
Allah is the best.
The Shaykh:
Neglect is the neglect of the patient. This is not approved, because this is abandoning the permissible means. Treatment is a permissible means, and Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) commanded the taking of beneficial means. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Abi Dawud 3874Da'if (Al-Albani), and he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Sunan Ibn Majah 3439Sahih (Darussalam), teaching those who knew and leaving those who did not know. Yes.
The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good, Shaykh Salih.
It seems that a large portion of this episode is for our sisters. Also, here is a message from a sister of ours in al-Taif. The sender says: I am a university student. I complain of tension, confusion, and lack of self-confidence, to the point that I cannot stand before the female students to explain the lesson. I am on the verge of graduation, and I cannot go to a doctor on my own because my family is ignorant of many matters. My father and mother firmly refuse and prefer that I be expelled and leave my studies. May Allah reward you with good, for I am confused in this matter. May Allah grant you success.
The Shaykh:
If it is possible for you to complete your studies, that is better. If it causes you hardship, then you should follow what is easiest for you. If the easiest option is to leave your studies, there is no harm in that.
The questioner:
Yes.
The Shaykh:
As for standing in front of the female students to explain the lesson, that is not obligatory. If it is possible and you are able to do it, there is no harm. If it is not possible, you should continue your studies, even if you cannot train in teaching. Perhaps this will go away, if Allah wills. Perhaps this temporary condition will go away in the future.
The questioner:
May Allah be magnified. Does Shaykh Salih hold that this fear will go away with practice, skill, and training?
The Shaykh:
Perhaps with practice this thing will go away, or perhaps this thing is a temporary condition that will go away by the permission of Allah. The important thing is that she does not despair of healing, by the permission of Allah.
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good. If she went to a female psychologist, even if the father did not know and even if the mother did not know, does Shaykh Salih see any objection to this?
The Shaykh:
There is no objection to that. But I do not see that the father or mother should object to her going to a female doctor to receive treatment, because this is in her interest and there is no harm in it. As long as she is going to a female doctor, there is no concern. The concern is in her going to a male doctor.
The questioner:
Good, good. May Allah reward you with good and do you good. It seems that the father and mother’s objection is because she will be seeing a male doctor. But if it is to a woman specialized in psychiatry, perhaps they will not object, if Allah wills. Shaykh Salih.
The Shaykh:
They will not object, if Allah wills. And if there is extreme necessity, let her go to a male doctor. Allah, Exalted and Majestic, says:
while He has explained in detail to you what He has forbidden you, excepting that to which you are compelled
وَقَدْ فَصَّلَ لَكُم مَّا حَرَّمَ عَلَيْكُمْ إِلَّا مَا اضْطُرِرْتُمْ إِلَيْهِThe questioner:
May Allah reward you with good. The rulings are extremely clear, as you have mentioned, Shaykh Salih. What do you say to the father and mother in such a situation?
The Shaykh:
Yes, we tell them: Listen to the answer, or let them hear it. We tell them: You must take care of your daughter, not leave her to the illness, and seek beneficial treatment for her. Seek a Muslim female doctor to take charge of her treatment. If the matter becomes narrow and she needs to see a specialist doctor, does she go, or does a mahram go with her to see the doctor? Perhaps Allah will facilitate a healing cure for her.
The questioner:
Allah is the best.
The Shaykh:
Neglect is the neglect of the patient. This is not approved, because this is abandoning the permissible means. Treatment is a permissible means, and Allah (Exalted and Majestic is He) commanded the taking of beneficial means. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
so treat yourselves medically, but use nothing unlawful.
تداووا ولا تداووا بحرامAllah does not send down any disease, but He also sends down the cure.
ما أنزل الله داء إلا أنزل له شفاءThe presenter:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good, Shaykh Salih.
Source
نور على الدرب - الفوزان - 01/283 — archive.org (12:14)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.