The Ruling on the Waiting Period After Death and Mourning Amid Marital Dispute

The questioner:
The first message in this episode is from one of our sisters in Riyadh. She is Umm Sultan. Umm Sultan began her message as follows: In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy. Honorable Shaykh, peace be upon you, and Allah’s mercy and blessings. After that, a dispute arose between me and my husband, so I went to my parents’ house and asked him for a divorce. He did not divorce me. During the time I was staying with my family, my husband passed away (may Allah have mercy on him), but I did not observe the mourning period. Now, Honorable Shaykh, more than ten years have passed since his death. What should I do? Please issue a ruling for us. May Allah reward you with good. Please also advise women to forget their disputes with their husbands. May Allah reward you with good.

The Shaykh:
In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. And may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. After that, there is no doubt that a wife whose husband has died is required to observe the waiting period (‘iddah) that Allah the Exalted commanded in His saying: .
Allah is fully aware of what you do. Therefore, the waiting period after death is obligatory by this noble verse. It is four months and ten days for a free woman. During this waiting period, she is required to observe the mourning period (i‘dad), which means abstaining from adornment and anything that attracts attention to her, such as adornment in her clothing, her jewelry, or her body through henna and the like. She must avoid all types of perfume and avoid leaving the house in which her husband died until the waiting period is completed. Thus, the mourning period is a follower of the waiting period and one of its rulings. If she left it off while ignorant, she owes nothing. However, if she left it off while knowing its obligation and intentionally neglecting it, she commits a sin by doing so.
However, the waiting period is valid by the passage of its time. If four months and ten days have passed since the husband’s death, the waiting period after death ends, and she becomes eligible for a marriage proposal. It is permissible for her to do whatever Allah has permitted regarding adornment for herself, without causing fitnah. As for the dispute that occurred between her and her husband, this does not exempt her from the waiting period, nor does it exempt her from the mourning period. We advise wives not to quarrel with their husbands, because Allah commanded good treatment between spouses and commanded establishing the limits set by the Shari’ah between them, including good treatment and each one fulfilling the rights obligatory upon him toward the other in a good manner. Each should overlook the anger and displeasure they feel toward the other. Let husbands remember, let them remember the nearness of death. This woman was in a dispute with her husband, went to her family because of it, and did not realize until he had died. He died angry with her, and she was angry with him. All of this is from Shaytan. It is obligatory for the spouses to treat each other well, even if this leads to giving up some of the rights between them, . Yes.

The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good, Shaykh Salih. What happened has happened, and it appears from the reality of the message and its sender that she is sending blessings upon her deceased husband. It seems she regrets what she did. Does she have to pay an expiation? Do you advise her to make du'a for this deceased man? Is there any advice for her and those like her, in addition to what you have mentioned? May Allah reward you with good.

The Shaykh:
It is certain that repentance and seeking forgiveness are required, but the rights of creation are not dropped except by their forgiveness and pardon. However, in any case, regret and repentance alleviate...

The presenter:
Oh Allah, Oh Allah.

The Shaykh:
...alleviate it, if Allah wills. She must also treat him well after his death by making du'a for him, giving charity on his behalf, and doing good to him by what Allah the Exalted and Sublime has prescribed, such as making du'a for him, seeking forgiveness for him, giving charity on his behalf, or performing Hajj or 'Umrah on his behalf. Indeed, that alleviates it, if Allah wills. Yes.

The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good, Shaykh Salih. It is not unlikely that she received a share of the inheritance, which is her legal right. Should we discuss this topic as well? May Allah preserve you.

The Shaykh:
The inheritance has no bearing on the issue of the dispute and quarrel. The inheritance is established for her by his death, and it is a debt upon him. It is a legal right. However, what she erred in regarding his right is the subject of discussion, as we mentioned, and it is not dropped except by his pardon and forgiveness. However, she must do what she can of good deeds for him after his death.

The presenter:
May Allah reward you with good. It is as if Shaykh Salih is saying that her receiving a share of the inheritance, and the man treating her well and not depriving her of her inheritance, is a reason for her to treat him well after his death?

The Shaykh:
Even if she did not receive a good inheritance, but if she received an inheritance and benefited from it, that is also a cause for her to return the favor to him.