What is the Shari'ah's detailed ruling on a suitor looking at his prospective bride, and is he permitted to look at her without her knowledge?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
What is the specific look permitted for the prospective bride by the suitor? And what is the detail of this in the Shari'ah?
The Shaykh:
The look permitted for the suitor toward the prospective bride is what leads him to marry her and what he observes in her. This is achieved by looking at the face and the hands; he looks at her face and her hands. This look is sufficient for accepting this woman or not accepting her, because they indicate her state regarding beauty or ugliness. Yes.
The questioner:
Is it permitted or is it recommended?
The Shaykh:
It is permitted in the sense that it is an exception from what is prohibited; because the default is the prohibition of looking at a non-mahram woman. So the suitor’s look at the prospective bride is an exception, making it a dispensation from this aspect. It is also recommended; because there is a benefit in it, which is that he knows this woman and gets to know her before the contract, whether she is suitable for him or not.
The questioner:
What about what people do today of bringing her to him in the presence of some of her mahrams, as opposed to the command that the man should look at her without her knowledge?
The Shaykh:
Both matters are permissible.
The presenter:
Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh:
Yes, whether he looks at her by bringing her with her mahram without seclusion between them, or he waits for her and looks at her without her knowing that, both matters are permissible. The second matter is better, which is that he looks at her while she does not know, because if she knows, she may put on airs, adorn herself with what is not her natural state. But if he looks at her while she does not know, he sees her in her natural state and her original form.
The questioner:
It may also be a cause of breaking her heart when she looks and knows, and then he does not accept her.
The Shaykh:
And likewise, yes, this also helps to mend her heart; because if he looks at her while she does not know, and then he decides his opinion on accepting or
The questioner:
not proceeding.
The Shaykh:
By proceeding or not proceeding, this is more modest for her, and further for her from having anything in her mind about this action. Yes.
What is the specific look permitted for the prospective bride by the suitor? And what is the detail of this in the Shari'ah?
The Shaykh:
The look permitted for the suitor toward the prospective bride is what leads him to marry her and what he observes in her. This is achieved by looking at the face and the hands; he looks at her face and her hands. This look is sufficient for accepting this woman or not accepting her, because they indicate her state regarding beauty or ugliness. Yes.
The questioner:
Is it permitted or is it recommended?
The Shaykh:
It is permitted in the sense that it is an exception from what is prohibited; because the default is the prohibition of looking at a non-mahram woman. So the suitor’s look at the prospective bride is an exception, making it a dispensation from this aspect. It is also recommended; because there is a benefit in it, which is that he knows this woman and gets to know her before the contract, whether she is suitable for him or not.
The questioner:
What about what people do today of bringing her to him in the presence of some of her mahrams, as opposed to the command that the man should look at her without her knowledge?
The Shaykh:
Both matters are permissible.
The presenter:
Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh:
Yes, whether he looks at her by bringing her with her mahram without seclusion between them, or he waits for her and looks at her without her knowing that, both matters are permissible. The second matter is better, which is that he looks at her while she does not know, because if she knows, she may put on airs, adorn herself with what is not her natural state. But if he looks at her while she does not know, he sees her in her natural state and her original form.
The questioner:
It may also be a cause of breaking her heart when she looks and knows, and then he does not accept her.
The Shaykh:
And likewise, yes, this also helps to mend her heart; because if he looks at her while she does not know, and then he decides his opinion on accepting or
The questioner:
not proceeding.
The Shaykh:
By proceeding or not proceeding, this is more modest for her, and further for her from having anything in her mind about this action. Yes.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، ما تفصيل الشرع في نظر الخاطب لمخطوبته، وهل له أن ينظر إليها دون علمها؟ الشيخ صالح الفوزان — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.