The Ruling on Condolences and Preparing Food for the Family of the Deceased
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
He says: Honorable Shaykh, may Allah grant you success, what is the ruling regarding condolences? How is food prepared for them for one or two days? And is it permissible to sit with the family of the deceased to console them for one or two days?
The Shaykh:
If the family of the deceased needs someone to sit with them in order to console and assist them, there is nothing wrong with it. He sits with them because of their need for it, to comfort them, assist them, and steady them in the face of the calamity. However, if they do not need him, there is no reason for him to sit with them; it adds burden and load to them. If he sits with them, it increases their expenses. He should offer his condolences and leave, except for those who need him, with whom he may sit.
As for preparing food, it is established in the Sunnah that food is prepared according to the needs of the household. Since they did not prepare food for themselves due to the calamity, they are given food to eat. But if they prepared food for themselves, they are self-sufficient, and there is no need for this. So food is provided to them according to need. One or two days? According to need. If they are self-sufficient, there is no need for it.
The questioner:
The belief of most people is that condolences last for three days. Of course, I did not fast.
The Shaykh:
Yes. The jurists say this, stating that if you offer condolences after the three days, the calamity is renewed for him, and he has already forgotten it, because it is the norm that he forgets it after three days. This is a matter of juristic preference (istihsan). I do not know of any evidence for it, except that they say it renews the calamity for him, and he has already forgotten it.
He says: Honorable Shaykh, may Allah grant you success, what is the ruling regarding condolences? How is food prepared for them for one or two days? And is it permissible to sit with the family of the deceased to console them for one or two days?
The Shaykh:
If the family of the deceased needs someone to sit with them in order to console and assist them, there is nothing wrong with it. He sits with them because of their need for it, to comfort them, assist them, and steady them in the face of the calamity. However, if they do not need him, there is no reason for him to sit with them; it adds burden and load to them. If he sits with them, it increases their expenses. He should offer his condolences and leave, except for those who need him, with whom he may sit.
As for preparing food, it is established in the Sunnah that food is prepared according to the needs of the household. Since they did not prepare food for themselves due to the calamity, they are given food to eat. But if they prepared food for themselves, they are self-sufficient, and there is no need for this. So food is provided to them according to need. One or two days? According to need. If they are self-sufficient, there is no need for it.
The questioner:
The belief of most people is that condolences last for three days. Of course, I did not fast.
The Shaykh:
Yes. The jurists say this, stating that if you offer condolences after the three days, the calamity is renewed for him, and he has already forgotten it, because it is the norm that he forgets it after three days. This is a matter of juristic preference (istihsan). I do not know of any evidence for it, except that they say it renews the calamity for him, and he has already forgotten it.
Source
شرح الكافية الشافية في الانتصار للفرقة الناجية [ القصيدة النونية ] [ صالح الفوزان ]، بداية من قوله : وكذلك الشحام والعلاف والنجار أهل الجهل بالقرآن — islamhouse.com (30:27)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.