Marrying a man who does not pray and asking about the suitor
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner:
Shaykh, sometimes some suitors come to the mosque imam or to one of the congregation and ask about so-and-so, whether he is suitable to be a husband, while they know that he does not pray or is negligent in prayer. So they say, out of a desire to cover for him, and may Allah guide him, I will not harm him, but I will speak well of him, if Allah wills. Is this betrayal or is it covering for him? And what is the ruling on marrying a girl with her father's consent, while the father knows that he does not pray?
The Shaykh:
This is not permissible. If he knows that he does not pray, he should advise him. Do you see that he does not pray? He does not advise; he reveals what he knows. It is not permissible for the father to marry his daughter to a man who does not pray. This is betrayal by the father. He should seek religion for her, just as a man seeks a woman of religion, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1084Da'if (Darussalam) lasting fitnah and great corruption. Rather, you are pleased with his religion and his character. So if you know that he does not pray, it is not permissible to marry him to you; rather, wait until Allah brings forth someone better than him. As for other sins, marriage is permissible, but seeking a good man and a good man is better than marrying someone known for sins. Seek a good man, just as a man seeks a good woman.
The questioner:
And Shaykh, is it permissible for the father to search for a righteous husband himself, or is this something that delays honor and justice?
The Shaykh:
It is prescribed for him to seek a righteous man for his daughter or his sister. When the husband of Hafsa, the daughter of 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), died, 'Umar proposed her to Abu Bakr and to 'Uthman. He said to Abu Bakr, "If you wish, I will marry you to Hafsa." Abu Bakr remained silent and said to 'Uthman, "If you wish, I will marry you to her." 'Uthman said, "Give me time." Then he said to 'Umar, "It has occurred to me that I should not marry at this time." Then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) proposed her and married her. So 'Umar was displeased with 'Uthman and with Abu Bakr for not responding. Abu Bakr said to him, "I remained silent because I heard the Prophet mention her, so I did not like to reveal the secret of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). As for 'Uthman, he excused himself by saying that he did not have the intention to marry." So the point is that 'Umar offered his daughter to Abu Bakr and to 'Uthman. If a person offers his daughter or his sister to people he knows to be good, and they advise for the girl, then this is appreciated and there is no harm. Yes.
Shaykh, sometimes some suitors come to the mosque imam or to one of the congregation and ask about so-and-so, whether he is suitable to be a husband, while they know that he does not pray or is negligent in prayer. So they say, out of a desire to cover for him, and may Allah guide him, I will not harm him, but I will speak well of him, if Allah wills. Is this betrayal or is it covering for him? And what is the ruling on marrying a girl with her father's consent, while the father knows that he does not pray?
The Shaykh:
This is not permissible. If he knows that he does not pray, he should advise him. Do you see that he does not pray? He does not advise; he reveals what he knows. It is not permissible for the father to marry his daughter to a man who does not pray. This is betrayal by the father. He should seek religion for her, just as a man seeks a woman of religion, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)
So seize for Allah the religion, may your hands be dust
فاظفر لله الدين تربت يداكWhen someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah)
إِذَا خَطَبَ إِلَيْكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ دِينَهُ وَخُلُقَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ إِلاَّ تَفْعَلُوا تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌThe questioner:
And Shaykh, is it permissible for the father to search for a righteous husband himself, or is this something that delays honor and justice?
The Shaykh:
It is prescribed for him to seek a righteous man for his daughter or his sister. When the husband of Hafsa, the daughter of 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), died, 'Umar proposed her to Abu Bakr and to 'Uthman. He said to Abu Bakr, "If you wish, I will marry you to Hafsa." Abu Bakr remained silent and said to 'Uthman, "If you wish, I will marry you to her." 'Uthman said, "Give me time." Then he said to 'Umar, "It has occurred to me that I should not marry at this time." Then the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) proposed her and married her. So 'Umar was displeased with 'Uthman and with Abu Bakr for not responding. Abu Bakr said to him, "I remained silent because I heard the Prophet mention her, so I did not like to reveal the secret of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). As for 'Uthman, he excused himself by saying that he did not have the intention to marry." So the point is that 'Umar offered his daughter to Abu Bakr and to 'Uthman. If a person offers his daughter or his sister to people he knows to be good, and they advise for the girl, then this is appreciated and there is no harm. Yes.
Source
وجوب التفقه في الدين — islamhouse.com (1:11:30)
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.