The ruling on a father taking his daughter's salary and her position regarding their anger
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The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. From Abha, a message was sent by one of the listeners. She says: Sīn, 'Ayn, Lām. Her message consists of three pages, or rather, her case is written in three pages. A summary of what is in these three pages is that she is an employee and has a salary that she receives every month, and her father controls her salary and does not want her to spend anything from it, neither for her husband nor for her children. She continued in this state for nearly ten years. Then she decided to help her husband build a house for her and her children. When the father and mother learned of this, they were overcome with intense anger. She is now seeking your advice, Shaykh Salih, in this matter. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
Dutifulness to parents is obligatory for the child, and assisting them to the extent the child is able is also obligatory. The parents are permitted to take from their child's wealth what does not harm him and what he does not need, because the child is part of his parents' earnings. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Your children are from your earnings." He (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Ibn Majah 2290Sahih (Darussalam) He (peace and blessings be upon him) also said: However, if the matter reaches the point of harming the child, it is not permissible for the parent to take from his child's wealth what harms him or what he needs. This questioner mentions that she needs some of her salary, so it is not permissible for the father to pressure her to this extent. Rather, he should leave for her what she needs to meet her requirements and what she uses to support her husband if he needs it. This balances the interests of both parties: the interest of the father and the interest of the daughter, because she takes from her salary what she needs and gives it to her father, or her father takes from her salary what does not harm her and what she does not need. There is no harm and no reciprocating harm.
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. If the owner of this message noticed the anger of her parents because of that, Shaykh Salih, is there any sin upon her in that case?
The Shaykh:
If she explains her need to her parents and it is contrary to their wishes, I believe the parents will not continue in their anger, because the father is more compassionate toward his child and more merciful to him. If she explains to them her need and her necessity for some money, then in most cases what is in the hearts of the parents will disappear. So the issue is one of understanding and one of persuasion.
The questioner:
Yes. Mustaan.
The Shaykh:
If she follows the wise method with her parents and persuades them of her need and necessity, then the parents will surely be convinced of that, if Allah wills.
The questioner:
If Allah wills. May Allah reward you with good. She says the separation between them lasted for a year because of what she mentioned in her message, O Shaykh Salih?
The Shaykh:
She must address this issue with her parents, and persuade them, and explain to them her need. This will disappear, if Allah wills, through understanding, and this occurrence will disappear.
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. I notice that she describes her father as wealthy and the owner of real estate and farms, but he is greedy for her salary in order to expand his properties and trade. Perhaps, Shaykh Salih, add to that in that case.
The Shaykh:
It is as we mentioned, as the jurists (may Allah have mercy on them) have established.
The questioner:
Yes, yes.
The Shaykh:
That the father may take from his child's wealth what does not harm him and what he does not need, with this condition: what does not harm the child and what the child does not need. If the matter reaches the point of harming the child and harassing him in his basic needs, then this is not permissible for the parent. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan Ibn Majah 2340Da'if (Darussalam) Especially if the parent is, as the questioner mentioned, wealthy, then he is not in need of harassing his daughter in her salary, and Allah the Exalted has enriched him from His bounty. Yes.
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good. We return to undutifulness to parents once again. I notice that she fears undutifulness greatly, and her situation is as you have mentioned, Shaykh Salih. Perhaps you can reassure her with a word in this meeting.
The Shaykh:
There is no doubt that it is one of the major sins and a great disobedience, and it is among the seven destructive sins. But if it is as the questioner mentioned, and that she takes something from her salary for her need and necessity, then that is not undutifulness to parents.
The questioner:
Praise be to Allah. Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh:
And there is no blame upon her for that.
The questioner:
Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh:
Because this is something she is compelled to do. Rather, the one who is wrong is the father who harasses her to this extent.
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. From Abha, a message was sent by one of the listeners. She says: Sīn, 'Ayn, Lām. Her message consists of three pages, or rather, her case is written in three pages. A summary of what is in these three pages is that she is an employee and has a salary that she receives every month, and her father controls her salary and does not want her to spend anything from it, neither for her husband nor for her children. She continued in this state for nearly ten years. Then she decided to help her husband build a house for her and her children. When the father and mother learned of this, they were overcome with intense anger. She is now seeking your advice, Shaykh Salih, in this matter. May Allah reward you with good.
The Shaykh:
Dutifulness to parents is obligatory for the child, and assisting them to the extent the child is able is also obligatory. The parents are permitted to take from their child's wealth what does not harm him and what he does not need, because the child is part of his parents' earnings. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Your children are from your earnings." He (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
The best of your provision is what you earn, and your children are part of what you earn.
إن أطيب ما أكلتم من كسبكم، وإن أولادكم من كسبكمYour wealth belongs to your father.
للولد أنت ومالك لأبيكThe questioner:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. If the owner of this message noticed the anger of her parents because of that, Shaykh Salih, is there any sin upon her in that case?
The Shaykh:
If she explains her need to her parents and it is contrary to their wishes, I believe the parents will not continue in their anger, because the father is more compassionate toward his child and more merciful to him. If she explains to them her need and her necessity for some money, then in most cases what is in the hearts of the parents will disappear. So the issue is one of understanding and one of persuasion.
The questioner:
Yes. Mustaan.
The Shaykh:
If she follows the wise method with her parents and persuades them of her need and necessity, then the parents will surely be convinced of that, if Allah wills.
The questioner:
If Allah wills. May Allah reward you with good. She says the separation between them lasted for a year because of what she mentioned in her message, O Shaykh Salih?
The Shaykh:
She must address this issue with her parents, and persuade them, and explain to them her need. This will disappear, if Allah wills, through understanding, and this occurrence will disappear.
The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good and do you good. I notice that she describes her father as wealthy and the owner of real estate and farms, but he is greedy for her salary in order to expand his properties and trade. Perhaps, Shaykh Salih, add to that in that case.
The Shaykh:
It is as we mentioned, as the jurists (may Allah have mercy on them) have established.
The questioner:
Yes, yes.
The Shaykh:
That the father may take from his child's wealth what does not harm him and what he does not need, with this condition: what does not harm the child and what the child does not need. If the matter reaches the point of harming the child and harassing him in his basic needs, then this is not permissible for the parent. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
It was narrated from 'Ubadah bin Samit that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) ruled: “There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.”
لا ضرر ولا ضرار،The questioner:
May Allah reward you with good. We return to undutifulness to parents once again. I notice that she fears undutifulness greatly, and her situation is as you have mentioned, Shaykh Salih. Perhaps you can reassure her with a word in this meeting.
The Shaykh:
There is no doubt that it is one of the major sins and a great disobedience, and it is among the seven destructive sins. But if it is as the questioner mentioned, and that she takes something from her salary for her need and necessity, then that is not undutifulness to parents.
The questioner:
Praise be to Allah. Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh:
And there is no blame upon her for that.
The questioner:
Praise be to Allah.
The Shaykh:
Because this is something she is compelled to do. Rather, the one who is wrong is the father who harasses her to this extent.
Source
قناة «العلامة الدكتور صالح الفوزان»، 4892- والدها يأخذ راتبها من سنوات وتريد أخذه لمساعدة زوجها في بناء بيته، فهل يدخل ذلك في العقوق؟ — youtube.com
The Arabic text is a machine transcription of the audio recording.