What is the best way to be dutiful to one's parents after their death?

The questioner : Is it better for one who wishes to be dutiful to his parents after their death to perform Hajj on their behalf himself, or with his money, or through one of his sons, or to offer a sacrifice on their behalf, all of this being voluntary and not by bequest, or to spend that money on building mosques and jihad in the path of Allah?

The Shaykh : The best thing by which one benefits his parents is what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided to, which is supplication for them, seeking forgiveness for them, honoring their friends, and maintaining the family ties that you have no connection to except through them. This is what the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) specified when the questioner asked him, saying: "O Messenger of Allah, is there any duty of dutifulness to my parents remaining after their death?" He answered with that. As for performing Hajj on their behalf, offering a sacrifice on their behalf, and giving charity on their behalf, these are permissible, without doubt, and we do not say they are forbidden, but they are of lesser virtue, because supplication for them is better than this. Make these deeds that you intend to do for your parents for yourself instead: perform Hajj yourself, give charity for yourself, offer a sacrifice for yourself and your family, and strive in the mosques and in jihad in the path of Allah yourself, because you will be in need of righteous deeds just as the parents were in need of them. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has already guided you to what is more beneficial and better. Do you think that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) overlooked the fact that it is better to perform Hajj or give charity?
Answer: Never. We do not believe that the Messenger overlooked that; rather, we know that the Messenger chose these four things—supplication, seeking forgiveness, honoring the friend, and maintaining family ties—because they are the reality. Dutifulness is the reality. For this reason, it is authentically reported from him that he said: Complete the hadith. He supplicates for him. He did not say: "A righteous son gives charity on his behalf, or offers a sacrifice on his behalf, or performs Hajj on his behalf, or fasts on his behalf," even though the hadith is about deeds. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) shifted from assigning deeds to the deceased to supplication. We bear witness to Allah and know with certainty that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) would never shift to something of lesser virtue and leave the thing of greater virtue, because he (may Allah's prayers and peace be upon him) is the most knowledgeable of creation and the most sincere of creation. If charity, or a sacrifice, or prayer, or Hajj, or fasting had been prescribed as voluntary acts for the parents, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) would have guided to them. I say that it is incumbent upon students of knowledge, in such matters where the general public are following the path of action, that the student of knowledge should clarify and explain and say: "Bring me one text in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commands a person to voluntarily fast or give charity for his parents. It does not exist. But he said: 'Whoever dies with fasting remaining upon him, his guardian fasts on his behalf.' So the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded that the obligatory fast be made up for the deceased, but voluntary acts? Turn through the entire Sunnah from beginning to end, do you find that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded that...
...a person give charity on behalf of his parents, or fast voluntarily on behalf of his parents, or perform Hajj voluntarily on behalf of his parents, or spend money on public interests for his parents? It does not exist. The most that is there is that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) approved this matter, and approving a matter does not mean that it is prescribed. He approved Sa'd ibn Ubadah when he sought his permission to make his orchard, meaning the garden that bears fruit, a charity for his mother. He said: "Yes." And likewise, he (peace and blessings be upon him) approved the man who said: "My mother died suddenly, and I think that if she had been able to speak, she would have given charity. Should I give charity on her behalf?"
He said: "Yes." But did he command his Ummah to make voluntary offerings to Allah and assign them to the deceased? That does not exist. And whoever finds something of that, let him share it with us, except for the obligatory. The obligatory is necessary. Yes.