What is the ruling on gathering for condolences at the deceased's home, preparing food, and reciting the Qur'an?

The questioner : May Allah reward you. The questioner asks: What is the ruling on gathering for condolences at the deceased's home, and the effort made for it through food, and other things like reciting the Qur'an and making du'a for the deceased in a group?

The Shaykh : These are several questions. Keep it. Gathering for condolences is a bid'ah (religious innovation). The Companions did not know of it. In fact, Jarir ibn 'Abd Allah al-Bajli (may Allah be pleased with him), who was one of the Companions, said: "We used to consider gathering at the deceased's home and preparing food to be part of wailing, and wailing is among the major sins." The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the wailer and the listener; the wailer is the one who wails, and the listener is the one who listens to her. We ask Allah for safety from that. So it is a bid'ah, and it renews grief. If people would leave it, and whoever has a deceased should say what the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided to, and what came in the Qur'an.
As for what came in the Qur'an, Allah the Exalted said: . As for the Sunnah, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: Listen, O Allah, what? Reward me in my calamity, and replace for me something better than it. Whoever does so, Allah will reward him in his calamity and replace for him something better than it. Umm Salama is the narrator of the hadith.
Her husband Abu Salama died, and he was her cousin and the father of her children, and one of the most beloved people to her. She said this hadith: She said that as a believer in the words of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), not doubting in it, but she was thinking in her heart: Who is better than Abu Salama? Abu Bakr, 'Umar, so-and-so, so-and-so. When she said this, she was not doubting the hadith, but she was saying: ? What happened? The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) did not let her 'iddah (waiting period) end until the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) proposed to her, and he was better than Abu Salama, without doubt. So I say: If the people of the deceased would fear Allah, do what they were commanded, and leave what their predecessors did not do, it would be better for them. And I say to those who do what they do: Your deceased is being punished by your actions. The deceased himself, whom you are now consoling, is being punished by your actions. It is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that: . We do not say this idly; we say it with evidence. We do not say it because we are, praise be to Allah, sinless from it, nor is it in our land. Rather, we say it with evidence. Between us and those who do that is the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). When Allah and His Messenger decide a matter, the believer has no choice in the matter of Allah and His Messenger, as Allah the Exalted said: . What does the deceased benefit from except that he is punished in his grave? And what does the bereaved benefit from except that grief is renewed in his heart? And what befalls the one who goes to him, sits with him, and eats from his food except that he shares with the wailers in their wailing? So why do we do it? Then the material losses and the loss of time that go with this action are counted against the person, counted in his wealth and counted in his life. The person will be asked about what he spent his wealth on, and he will be asked about what he spent his time on. So why? Why, O brothers? I call upon you by Allah?
You should look at the matter with a thorough, legal perspective, not a superficial one or one based on custom, but a perspective of truth. We all say and so on. We say this, but do we say it with our tongues only, without our actions? If we say it with our tongues only, without our actions, that is a calamity. Death is a reality, and the deceased will not be resurrected to intercede for him; rather, he will be punished. Look into the matter, may Allah bless you. Have you not seen that, as it has reached us, people come from distant or nearby villages for this gathering, and they set up tents, bright lights, covered chairs, and decorated vessels? And the reciters . They bring a reciter to recite, but what does the reciter recite for? Voluntarily? Yes, for a wage. And the one who volunteers for a wage has no share of the reward, so his recitation becomes a burden on the poor man, and there is no benefit for the deceased from it, meaning there is no reward in it. Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a person whose neighborhood people asked him to lead them in the tarawih prayers. They said, "We do not contradict the custom; I will pray with you, but for what?" They said, "Money." They asked, "What do you say, O Abu 'Abdullah, about this?" He said, "We seek refuge in Allah from praying behind this man? We seek refuge in Allah from praying behind this man?" Who would hope for the blessing of the recitation of this reciter who has not recited except for money? But these are bad customs. Therefore, with the knowledge I have acquired, I hope that Allah will make it beneficial for me. I say to my brothers.
It is obligatory upon the scholars to convey the message, and it is obligatory upon the ummah (Muslim community) to listen and obey. If they convey from Allah and His Messenger, let them say: "We have heard and obeyed," praise be to Allah. Let us refrain from the matter, rest, and make du'a for the deceased. Let them search in history and in the hadith: Did the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sit for condolences? Did the Companions sit? Did the Tabi'un (the generation after the Companions) sit? Did they light lamps? Did they bring reciters? Did they line up chairs? Did they make a tent? Let them answer these questions. They will never find a correct answer. If the end of this ummah is not rectified except by what rectified its beginning, and if the beginning of this ummah did not do this, then if we do it, it is not a path to rectification. Complete the paragraphs.
The food and reciting the Qur'an, we mentioned it. We mentioned reciting the Qur'an that this man's recitation has no good in it, because he has no reward; he hastened his reward and took the wage for it from this world, and the deceased will not benefit from it.