The ruling on a man forbidding his wife due to stinginess and the expiation for the oath

The questioner : A man is stingy with his wife and children, putting them in a state of need for assistance from others. A dispute arose between them, and he said, “If you take anything from your family, you are forbidden to me.”

The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah.

The questioner : He has recently regretted his words and wants to retract them. What should he do? And is it permissible for her brother to give her from his zakah?

The Shaykh : Yes. First, I advise this stingy man that he is sinful and disobedient to Allah the Exalted if he withholds what is obligatory for his wife and children.
Because Allah has made it obligatory for him to spend on his wife and his children. If he is stingy, he has disobeyed Allah the Exalted. Stinginess is a disease. Who is described as stingy?
The Jews are the people of stinginess. Would you be satisfied for yourself to be like the Jews? No, no Muslim is ever satisfied to be like the Jews. But stinginess is among the characteristics of the Jews. Stinginess is among the characteristics of the Jews. Along with it being a sin against Allah and His Messenger, and along with this man being foolish in his mind after being deficient in his religion, he is foolish in his mind. How? To whom does this money return if he is stingy with it? If he dies, it returns to his heirs. It may be that among them are his wife and these children who are present now. If he has no wife and no children, who inherits from him? His distant paternal uncles. So he is stingy with the money regarding himself and the people closest to him, so that it goes to whom? To his distant paternal uncles. If he has no paternal uncles, the money goes to the public treasury, further and further. Look at this poor man. This money he is stingy with will be sold to either his wife and children who are present, or his distant paternal uncles, or someone even further, which is the public treasury. This is if the money remains, though perhaps a calamity will be sent upon it to rid him of it. Perhaps this stingy man will be afflicted with illnesses that require a lot of money, and his money will be exhausted while he is alive. It is clear. So we say to this man: You are now deficient in faith and foolish in mind.
And we tell him that every day the sun rises, there are two angels. One says, “O Allah, give the spender a replacement,” and the other says, “O Allah, bring destruction upon the withholder.” Do you prefer the replacement or the destruction? I do not know; this stingy man might prefer the destruction. But every person prefers the replacement; they cannot prefer the destruction. Then we say: Read the saying of Allah the Exalted: and He is the best of providers. May Allah provide for you. Do not think that if the million you have decreases, if ten riyals decrease, it means it will not be completed. It will be completed, and more. The million will be completed and increased. So my advice to this man is to fear Allah and fulfill the obligation to his wife and children so that Allah will bless him in his wealth and he will be rid of being like the Jews. As for the wife and children, she has the right by the Shari'ah to take from his wealth without his knowledge what suffices her needs. She can raid the safe if she knows the key and take what she wants, on the condition that she does not be extravagant. She takes from his hidden stores; if he hangs up a garment, she takes her need from it, on the condition that she does not be extravagant. Yes, she has that right by the Shari'ah, because Hind bint 'Utbah complained to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that her husband did not give her what sufficed her and her child. He said, “Take from my wealth what suffices you and your child, or most of your household.” So we say: You are free, you have the right to take. If you cannot, because this man carries the key to the safe with him and puts nothing in the hidden stores and you get nothing, what do you do?
Fine, she takes from her relatives so that she and her children do not die. She has the right to take. And if it is forbidden for her to take from her relatives, she is not required to obey him in that. She has the right to take. It is he who will be troubled to get rid of this prohibition. How? He goes to find someone to give him a ruling on the matter. And if this man, if Allah wills, is present and says, “If Allah wills, I will not return to stinginess,” then I rule for him that he expiates the oath for this prohibition, and the prohibition is dissolved. He feeds ten poor people and lets her take what she wants. And better than that is that he gives her from his wealth himself. Yes.