Advice to fathers who force their sons to marry

Question:
Your Eminence the Shaykh! Perhaps the guardians will be listening to this episode, and we often hear of marriages that did not last because fathers forced the betrothed to marry. Do you have a word to say on this occasion, Your Eminence?

Answer:
Yes, it is not permissible to force a son to marry, nor a daughter to marry; both of them. Marriage is to be by mutual consent and love. Forcing him to marry, and forcing her to marry, are among the causes of corruption and among the causes of separation after a short or long period, along with many problems between them. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said The other wording says: and the virgin’s father seeks her permission, and her permission is her silence. If the girl is not forced, how much more so the man? It is a matter of course.
The man is even more so a matter of course. So the point is that the father, nor the brother, nor the uncle has the right to force their wards to marry, whether to relatives or non-relatives. Nor do they have the right to force those under their care, the sons, to do so. Rather, choice, approval, and consent are necessary. This is the cause of a good life. If a man is forced, he generally does not get along with his wife; rather, he separates from her quickly, or lives with her in misery and evil. Likewise, if a woman is forced, she does not live in a good state. She may be with him in a bad state and misery of life, and he may divorce her quickly, or she may remain with him in torment. All of this is upon the guardian who compelled it; the sin of that and its disgrace are not upon the son or the daughter. So what I advise everyone is to fear Allah and to beware of injustice and forcing daughters or sisters, and to beware also of forcing sons to marry someone they do not approve of. All of this is obligatory upon the guardians, fathers, uncles, and elder brothers; they must observe this and be diligent in seeking the daughter’s and the son’s consent, both of them. The matter is made clear to her, and the husband’s condition is explained to her with truth, not with deception and lying. His condition is made clear to her with truth regarding his faith, his piety, and his appearance, or she sees him if seeing him is feasible. Likewise, the woman is made clear to him with insight, and her condition is explained to him. Her matter is made clear to him with insight, and if seeing her is possible, he sees her. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded seeing her, and said: Look at her, for that is more likely to bring harmony between you, or as he (peace and blessings be upon him) said. So the point is that seeing each other is required, there is no harm in it, and it is prescribed. If seeing is not feasible, then description. If the father knows her, he describes her to him, or his mother goes to her, or his sister describes her to him. The woman is likewise; her brother describes the man to her, or her father, or her mother if she knows the man. The point is to clarify the things that cause agreement and harmony, and the absence of discord from this one and that one, from the woman and the man alike. Haste is never advisable, and it is never permissible to force this one or that one. Yes.