The Ruling on Gathering for Condolences and Preparing Food and Drink

Question:
This questioner sent a set of questions. He says: Honorable Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan, my first question is that some of the people among us have a custom when someone dies in their family. They are accustomed to gathering after the burial to receive the condolence-givers and to provide them with food, drinks, and snacks, relying on the hadith of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him): “Prepare food for the family of Ja‘far, for something has come to them that occupies them.” Is it permissible to gather after the burial and exchange drinks and snacks? And was this practice in the time of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)?

Answer:
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds. May Allah send prayers and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and all his Companions. As for what follows, the practice that people have introduced of gathering with the family of the deceased for several nights and preparing a large amount of food to feed these gatherers has no basis in the religion, nor in the Sunnah of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), nor in the practice of the righteous predecessors.
It causes embarrassment for the family of the deceased. It leads to the neglect of their duties. It involves extravagance in food. Some of the Companions said, “We considered gathering with the family of the deceased and preparing food to be akin to wailing.” Wailing is prohibited. Therefore, offering condolences should be done without these characteristics. You offer condolences to the deceased when you meet him in the cemetery, in the mosque, in the shop, or anywhere else. You offer them verbally, by telephone, by mobile phone, by writing a message, or otherwise. There is no need for these burdensome practices. As for the questioner’s claim that they rely on the saying of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), “Prepare food for the family of Ja‘far, for something has come to them that occupies them,” this is an argument against them, not for them. The Messenger commanded the preparation of food for the family of the deceased only, to the extent of their need, because they are occupied and unable to prepare food for themselves. Food is not prepared for the gatherers who come to them; rather, it is prepared specifically for the house of the deceased, for the people of his household, only. This is the Sunnah, without burden, without gathering, and without neglecting work. Yes.