Addendum for the sake of benefit: Types of permissible backbiting. The fifth type: "And one seeking a ruling."
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The Shaykh : The fifth type: And one seeking a ruling. Seeking a ruling is asking for a legal ruling in Islamic sacred law. A man may come
to a scholar and say, "My wife does such and such, so what is the ruling?" The husband’s statement, "My wife does such and such", is backbiting of her. Conversely, a woman may come to a scholar and say, "My husband does such and such to me," and this is backbiting of him by her. Is this permissible?
The answer: If the intention of each of them is to know the ruling of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), then this is permissible. However, if the intention is to take revenge, then it is forbidden. This is the forbidden backbiting by the explicit text of the Book and the Sunnah.
Among the evidence for this is what came in the authentic hadith:.
The woman asking the question, the one seeking a ruling, said to the Prophet (peace be upon him): "My husband is by nature stingy and miserly, and as a result, he does not fulfill the obligation of financial maintenance, neither for me as his wife nor for my children from him. Is it permissible, O Messenger of Allah, for me to take from his wealth secretly without his knowledge, because he is stingy and does not give from his own will or disposition?" He (peace be upon him) said: The point of this hadith is the woman’s statement to the Messenger (peace be upon him): "My husband is a stingy man." This is backbiting. We return to the rule: What is backbiting? It is mentioning your brother in a way he dislikes. There is no doubt that if the man were informed that his wife said to so-and-so the scholar that he is stingy, this would certainly distress him, because it is backbiting. But since she intended behind that not to disparage him, but to reach the knowledge of the legal ruling in Islamic sacred law, we did not find the Messenger (peace be upon him) rebuking her. He did not say to her, "Be silent, this is backbiting," and backbiting is forbidden, because he (peace be upon him) knew from her that she only wanted to know the ruling of Allah in the matter she was asking about. So he (peace be upon him) answered her by saying: This is the fifth type: And one seeking a ruling.
to a scholar and say, "My wife does such and such, so what is the ruling?" The husband’s statement, "My wife does such and such", is backbiting of her. Conversely, a woman may come to a scholar and say, "My husband does such and such to me," and this is backbiting of him by her. Is this permissible?
The answer: If the intention of each of them is to know the ruling of Allah (Mighty and Majestic), then this is permissible. However, if the intention is to take revenge, then it is forbidden. This is the forbidden backbiting by the explicit text of the Book and the Sunnah.
Among the evidence for this is what came in the authentic hadith:
A woman came to the Messenger (peace be upon him) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, my husband is a stingy man, my husband is a stingy man—meaning miserly—should I take from his wealth what suffices me and my children?"
أن امرأة جاءت إلى الرسول عليه السلام ، فقالت: يا رسول الله زوجي رجل شحيح زوجي رجل شحيح -يعني بخيل- أفآخذ من ماله ما يكفيني أنا وأولادي ؟The woman asking the question, the one seeking a ruling, said to the Prophet (peace be upon him): "My husband is by nature stingy and miserly, and as a result, he does not fulfill the obligation of financial maintenance, neither for me as his wife nor for my children from him. Is it permissible, O Messenger of Allah, for me to take from his wealth secretly without his knowledge, because he is stingy and does not give from his own will or disposition?" He (peace be upon him) said: