Explaining the age at which an elder kissing a younger person is permissible out of mercy and compassion.
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The questioner : Regarding the mother kissing her daughter now.
The Shaykh : This!
The questioner : A young girl, I mean.
The Shaykh : A young girl, I mean she was small?
The questioner : A young girl.
The Shaykh : An older girl?
The questioner : Yes, I mean her son has grown up.
The Shaykh : Ah, an older girl. Well, we need to note that this meaning of kissing out of mercy and compassion is what is prescribed. If a mother kisses her child, whether male or female, from this perspective, there is no objection. However, if it is a social custom that has no substance other than it being the habit, no. And without a doubt, mercy and compassion exist at an age that warrants this observation. If a mother, for example, kisses her son and the age difference between them is, say, fifteen or twenty years, and there are rare stories where the age difference between 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As and his father was ten years, because his father married him off early. So the point is, if the age difference is large, such as the mother being, for example, sixty and her son, let us suppose, forty, this kissing out of mercy is not likely to occur, yes. But at an age lower than that, the kissing still has a taste of compassion and mercy, so I do not see any objection to this practice. However, among the evils of spreading the custom of an elder kissing a younger person is that it will become a standing issue between the mother and her daughter. The grandmother, for example, will come, and the aunt will come, and the maternal aunt will come, and who is the next most distant relative, and it will become a habit with no difference in that; whether her mother kissed her, or her grandmother, or her neighbor. Therefore, this door should be closed. And peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : This!
The questioner : A young girl, I mean.
The Shaykh : A young girl, I mean she was small?
The questioner : A young girl.
The Shaykh : An older girl?
The questioner : Yes, I mean her son has grown up.
The Shaykh : Ah, an older girl. Well, we need to note that this meaning of kissing out of mercy and compassion is what is prescribed. If a mother kisses her child, whether male or female, from this perspective, there is no objection. However, if it is a social custom that has no substance other than it being the habit, no. And without a doubt, mercy and compassion exist at an age that warrants this observation. If a mother, for example, kisses her son and the age difference between them is, say, fifteen or twenty years, and there are rare stories where the age difference between 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr ibn al-'As and his father was ten years, because his father married him off early. So the point is, if the age difference is large, such as the mother being, for example, sixty and her son, let us suppose, forty, this kissing out of mercy is not likely to occur, yes. But at an age lower than that, the kissing still has a taste of compassion and mercy, so I do not see any objection to this practice. However, among the evils of spreading the custom of an elder kissing a younger person is that it will become a standing issue between the mother and her daughter. The grandmother, for example, will come, and the aunt will come, and the maternal aunt will come, and who is the next most distant relative, and it will become a habit with no difference in that; whether her mother kissed her, or her grandmother, or her neighbor. Therefore, this door should be closed. And peace be upon you.
Source
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