Chapter: The believer is not the one who insults; the hadith of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Jews came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said

The Shaykh : Today we are studying Chapter 145, which is the chapter "The believer is not the one who insults." We had studied the first hadith from it, skipped the second, and mentioned that its beginning is authentic through a different chain. Now we are reading to you the third hadith from it, and its chain of narration is authentic.
It was narrated from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Jews came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: "As-sam" — meaning "death" — "as-sam 'alaykum" (Death be upon you). Aisha said: "And upon you, may Allah curse you and be angry with you." He — meaning the Messenger (peace be upon him) — said: . She said: "Did you not hear what they said?" He said: .
In this hadith there are Islamic etiquettes, some of which concern the Muslim in his character, and some concern the Muslim in his relationship with the disbeliever when the disbeliever greets him with a distorted greeting, deviating from what it was established for. In the Syrian expression, it is a "poisoned greeting." This is what those Jews did when they came to the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). It appears they came while he was in the house of Aisha, so they greeted him with a greeting in which they twisted their tongues, misleading the Messenger (peace be upon him) and those with him into thinking they were greeting him with the lawful greeting. But in reality, they turned the greeting into a curse upon the Messenger (peace be upon him) in their language; they said: "As-sam," and the meaning of "as-sam" is death, as came in some hadiths: , which is death. So they — I mean the Jews — out of their wickedness and treachery, twisted their tongues with the greeting and said: "As-sam 'alaykum." This did not remain hidden from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), who is the master of masters, the most intelligent. Therefore, he did not respond to their wicked words except by saying to them: "And upon you." As for Lady Aisha, she could not bear their treachery and wickedness, and this appeared strongly in her response to them when she heard what she said: "And upon you." She realized and responded with the same response as the Messenger (peace be upon him), but she added: "May Allah curse you and be angry with you."
So the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was not pleased with her response, and the reason for that goes back to two matters:
One of them concerns an Islamic principle, and the other concerns her personally and her self.
As for the first — the Islamic principle — it is His saying (Blessed and Exalted is He): . If the Jews said: "As-sam 'alaykum," then we say: "And upon you," and we do not increase in severity in our response to them, saying as Lady Aisha said: "May Allah curse you and be angry with you." This is the first matter, and this is a known principle in Islam that it is not permissible to exceed the limit of retaliation and taking revenge, but only with the equivalent. So he (peace be upon him) said to her, in a manner of teaching: . She said: "Did you not hear what they said?" He (peace be upon him) said: ; meaning, as if the Messenger (peace be upon him) wanted her to be wiser than she was. He was saying to her: I heard what you heard, and I responded as you responded, and as you said: "And upon you," I said: "And upon you." So why did you add to what I responded to? Therefore, he ordered her to be gentle and forbade her from violence and foul speech, the foul speech in words that is not permissible to come from the tongue. He said: . I responded to them with the equivalent of the equivalent; meaning, the Messenger (peace be upon him) responded to them with the equivalent of the equivalent. They said: "As-sam 'alaykum," so I said: "And upon you." My supplication against them will be accepted, and their supplication against me will not be accepted. If the Jews curse the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) with an unjust, oppressive, and transgressive curse, that is something that will not be accepted by Allah (Mighty and Majestic) against the Messenger (peace be upon him). But the opposite is yes; if the Messenger (peace be upon him) supplicates against them, his supplication will be accepted by his Lord (Blessed and Exalted is He).
So we take from this hadith two matters:
The first: that the Muslim must be gentle, he must be easy and lenient, he must not be severe, even with disbelievers in social life; meaning, in the state of them living as dhimmis under the Islamic system. In this case, it is not permissible for the Muslim to use harshness and severity with Jews and Christians. But if the situation occurs and war is established between Muslims and disbelievers, then there the Muslim must be severe against them. This is what Allah (Mighty and Majestic) described His believing servants with, saying: . Some Muslims mix things up and imagine that this severity which Allah (Mighty and Majestic) mentioned in the aforementioned verse: , that this severity must be between the Muslim and the disbeliever even in social relations! This is a mistake. If the disbeliever lives under the banner of Islam and the rule of Islam, he must be treated with all the Islamic etiquettes that Allah has permitted. And I mean what I say when I say the Islamic etiquettes that Allah has permitted. Otherwise, it is not permissible to equate the Muslim's treatment of people; it is not permissible for him to equate this treatment between the Muslim and the disbeliever in everything. For example, at the time we hear in this hadith this noble teaching that if the disbeliever throws a greeting at the Muslim and twists his tongue in it, we do not increase in severity against him, we say: "And upon you." But from another side, he said: . So it is not permissible for the Muslim, if he meets a Jewish or Christian dhimmi — we are now discussing dhimmis — it is not permissible if he meets him to initiate the greeting. And we mean by the greeting the Islamic greeting, which is by the text of the authentic hadith where he (peace be upon him) said: .
This greeting is not permissible for the Muslim to initiate with the disbeliever dhimmi. Rather, if it is necessary for him to initiate, he says to him: as some say to each other: "Good morning," "Good evening," from this speech which is not specific to the Islamic Shari'ah. But this Islamic greeting, you have heard the saying of the Messenger (peace be upon him): .
I say — with regret — that the second part of this hadith cannot be applied today; because the system is not an Islamic system; and because if you want to force the non-Muslim to the narrowest path, you have established discord and enmity between you and the rulers. And this is something the Muslim today has no capacity for, unfortunately. But as for the first matter — namely, the greeting — no one can intervene between you and your Shari'ah concerning your person. If you initiate the greeting, no one will say: "Why did you not initiate the greeting?" Especially with this lawful greeting.
I want to say: In this hadith there is a teaching for us not to be severe in dealing with the People of the Dhimma. But this severity must be governed by Islam. So it is not said — for example —: "Since these are People of the Dhimma and since it is permissible to be kind to them, etc., then we initiate with them 'As-salamu 'alaykum' (Peace be upon you)." No; because the Messenger (peace be upon him) forbade that. And conversely, since Allah said in the previous verse: , then we treat them with severity. If we make a treaty with them, we deceive them, we plot against them! This is not permissible. Indeed, Allah (Mighty and Majestic) loves those who are just; that is, those who are kind in their treatment of all people; whether one of them is a Muslim or a disbeliever. So the verse must be understood as: , meaning the disbelievers of war who are called the "Harbiyyun" (those in a state of war).
The second benefit that can be derived from this hadith is a very important matter concerning all Muslims, whether male or female, which is correcting and improving one's character, and that the Muslim not be harsh or violent in his dealings with the dhimmis (non-Muslims under Muslim protection) among the disbelievers, let alone in his dealings with his Muslim brothers, let alone in his dealings with his close relatives and those with whom he maintains family ties. And true is the saying of Allah the Exalted: .