What is the ruling on caressing one's wife during the day in Ramadan without intercourse, and what is the ruling in the state of ihram?

The questioner : We once discussed that regarding caressing one's wife during the day in Ramadan without intercourse, even if ejaculation occurs, this does not invalidate the fast and does not affect anything. Is this the case in Hajj if one is in ihram?

The Shaykh : I mean, does he have the right to intercourse or not?

The questioner : Yes.

The Shaykh : By Allah, I do not have a study regarding intercourse itself in Hajj, when Hajj becomes invalid and when it does not, and consequently, I do not have a study on the specific question you are directing. If the consideration requires, meaning initially without research, that the ruling is the same, but I do not have a study as I have a study regarding fasting.

The questioner : Okay, Shaykh, could you... a little regarding fasting, meaning you don't ask a Shaykh but he tells you this fast is invalid, this requires making it up, this requires such and such.

The Shaykh : This is correct because the four schools of jurisprudence are like this, but it is established from a group of the Salaf that they issued a fatwa that one does not break the fast except with intercourse, like Aisha, for example, Aisha... Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas... It is true she said to one of her relatives, I think his name was Qasim ibn 'Abd al-Rahman ibn Abi Bakr al-Siddiq, who was newly married, that he had caressed his bride, of course it was Ramadan, so he replied that he feared [breaking the fast], so she said that one does not break the fast except with intercourse, and in the sense of this meaning, that one does not break the fast except with intercourse, from Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas and from Jabir ibn Zayd, a great Tabi'i, one of the prolific narrators from Ibn 'Abbas, and so on.
And then there is no text that contradicts these statements so that we hold onto them, meaning etc... The verse, and the "rafth" (intimacy) intended here is undoubtedly intercourse, and the meaning of the verse is that what was permitted on the night of fasting is forbidden during the day of fasting. What else is forbidden? Intercourse. And the scholars agreed without disagreement among them that intercourse in Ramadan breaks the fast, because one might compare and say it is not permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife during the day in Ramadan, correct, but where is the evidence that it breaks the fast?
I mean, as we say to the one who says, "I have a wet dream, so I committed a forbidden act," as this man from their land, Yusuf al-Barqawi, narrated, he also forbade the one who looked at a woman like that young man, but he did not ejaculate, he also committed a forbidden act. Does he break the fast with that? I say no. So why does he break the fast here and not there? This is committing a haram and this is committing a haram. This one ejaculated. I know he ejaculated, but where is the evidence that the one who ejaculates by looking, or by touching, or by anything without intercourse, breaks the fast? We need evidence. There is no evidence.
Therefore, they differentiate because they observe exactly what we do not observe. They observe that the one who ejaculates by touching or by looking is not said, neither linguistically nor legally, to have had intercourse. Therefore, they do not obligate upon him the expiation for the one who ejaculates by touching or looking, but they obligate upon him making up the fast without expiation. The expiation was obligated by what? By intercourse. So this is not intercourse, because if it were intercourse or in the ruling of intercourse, they would have obligated upon him making up the fast with the expiation. So by what evidence did you obligate invalidation and making up the fast? If you say this is intercourse, you did not treat it as intercourse. And if you say this is not intercourse, then what is the evidence that what is not intercourse breaks the fast? There is no evidence. In addition to this, we found these authentic reports from some of the Salaf that one does not break the fast except with intercourse.

The questioner : And it is not said, "By Allah, the more cautious thing is that he does not do it."

The Shaykh : Of course, there is no objection to saying the more cautious thing. This same Lady Aisha said that intercourse is what breaks the fast. She said, "And which of you can control his private part as the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) controlled..." And therefore, the hadith differentiates betweenThe Shaykh : and the young man. When the hadith came, it says a man came and asked the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), "Do you kiss in Ramadan?" He said to him, "No." Another came and he said to him, "There is no harm." So we looked, and the first was a young man and the other was an old man.

The questioner : ... The intended meaning is intercourse or ejaculation from desire? Because many of the scholars, professor, transmit the agreement that one who kisses his wife and ejaculates breaks the fast by agreement.

The Shaykh : How is there agreement on his head and the hadith of Aisha?

The questioner : Okay, if he is in doubt, of course in Ramadan he kissed, of course there is no... What I understood, meaning for the old man, if he kissed, meaning regarding the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him), he agreed, meaning he did not mind, of course, because this thing affects him, it is not important, meaning.

The Shaykh : ... I mean, the 'illah (operative cause) here is the strength of desire. If there is a young man with weak desire and an old man with strong desire... Okay.

The questioner : For this reason, Shaykh, many people are hesitant to marry their sons or for young men to marry at the beginning of Ramadan. But if this ruling were with them according to the hadith of Aisha, that it is upon the bride, she would have followed it.

The Shaykh : Hehehe.