The Difference Between Backbiting and Talebearing
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What is the difference between backbiting and talebearing, and are there circumstances in which it is permissible for a person to backbite others?
The difference between backbiting and talebearing,That backbiting is: is mentioning your brother in his absence with what he dislikes, such as cursing him in his religion, his character, his appearance, his work, or anything else. So, if you mention him in his absence with what he dislikes, that is backbiting. (They said: O Messenger of Allah! What do you say if my brother has what I am saying about him?He said: If he has what you are saying, then you have backbitten him, and if he does not have what you are saying, then you have slandered him).
And as for talebearing, it is: conveying people’s words from one to another with the intention of causing corruption, such as coming to a person and saying: So-and-so is saying such and such about you, whether it is true or false. This is talebearing, derived from the word for spreading a report when attributing it to someone else. And talebearing is greater than backbiting; because it is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) that he passed by two graves and said: (They are being punished, and they are not being punished for something great: as for one of them, he did not guard himself from the impurity of urine, and as for the other, he used to walk about spreading tales). This is the difference between them.
As for whether backbiting or talebearing is permissible? This is considered: if it is for the sake of benefit, there is no harm in mentioning what he dislikes if it is for the sake of benefit,For example: such as when a man comes to you seeking your advice regarding a person he wants to do business with or marry, and you know that there is something blameworthy in him, then you may mention that thing. For Fatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) seeking his advice, as three men had proposed to her: Abu Jahm, Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, and Usamah ibn Zayd. So she came to seek the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) regarding that: whom should she marry from among them? He said: (As for Abu Jahm, he is a man who beats women, and as for Mu'awiyah, he is a pauper with no wealth. Marry Usamah). Here you see that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned Mu'awiyah and Abu Jahm with what they dislike, but with the intention of being just. So there is no harm in that.
Likewise, if you tell tales to: A person says something about another person, and you see that this person is a friend of his and he trusts him, but this friend whom he trusts conveys his words to people,then you come to him and warn him and say: saying that so-and-so conveys your words to people, and that he says such and such about you. This is also not harmful, and it may even be obligatory.
And the matter returns to: Is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of backbiting, so that the benefit takes precedence? Is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of talebearing, so that the benefit takes precedence? Because the entire Shari'ah is wisdom that balances between benefits and harms. Whichever prevails, the ruling follows it. If the harm prevails, the ruling follows it, and if the benefit prevails, the ruling follows it. And if the two are equal, the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) said: averting harms takes precedence over seeking benefits.
The difference between backbiting and talebearing,That backbiting is: is mentioning your brother in his absence with what he dislikes, such as cursing him in his religion, his character, his appearance, his work, or anything else. So, if you mention him in his absence with what he dislikes, that is backbiting. (They said: O Messenger of Allah! What do you say if my brother has what I am saying about him?He said: If he has what you are saying, then you have backbitten him, and if he does not have what you are saying, then you have slandered him).
And as for talebearing, it is: conveying people’s words from one to another with the intention of causing corruption, such as coming to a person and saying: So-and-so is saying such and such about you, whether it is true or false. This is talebearing, derived from the word for spreading a report when attributing it to someone else. And talebearing is greater than backbiting; because it is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) that he passed by two graves and said: (They are being punished, and they are not being punished for something great: as for one of them, he did not guard himself from the impurity of urine, and as for the other, he used to walk about spreading tales). This is the difference between them.
As for whether backbiting or talebearing is permissible? This is considered: if it is for the sake of benefit, there is no harm in mentioning what he dislikes if it is for the sake of benefit,For example: such as when a man comes to you seeking your advice regarding a person he wants to do business with or marry, and you know that there is something blameworthy in him, then you may mention that thing. For Fatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) seeking his advice, as three men had proposed to her: Abu Jahm, Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, and Usamah ibn Zayd. So she came to seek the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) regarding that: whom should she marry from among them? He said: (As for Abu Jahm, he is a man who beats women, and as for Mu'awiyah, he is a pauper with no wealth. Marry Usamah). Here you see that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned Mu'awiyah and Abu Jahm with what they dislike, but with the intention of being just. So there is no harm in that.
Likewise, if you tell tales to: A person says something about another person, and you see that this person is a friend of his and he trusts him, but this friend whom he trusts conveys his words to people,then you come to him and warn him and say: saying that so-and-so conveys your words to people, and that he says such and such about you. This is also not harmful, and it may even be obligatory.
And the matter returns to: Is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of backbiting, so that the benefit takes precedence? Is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of talebearing, so that the benefit takes precedence? Because the entire Shari'ah is wisdom that balances between benefits and harms. Whichever prevails, the ruling follows it. If the harm prevails, the ruling follows it, and if the benefit prevails, the ruling follows it. And if the two are equal, the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) said: averting harms takes precedence over seeking benefits.