Is there a difference between backbiting and talebearing, and are there circumstances in which backbiting is permissible?
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The questioner : Is there a difference between backbiting and talebearing? And are there circumstances in which a person is given a dispensation to backbite?
The Shaykh : What difference?
The questioner : The difference between backbiting
The Shaykh : No, are there?
The questioner : Circumstances.
The Shaykh : Statements?
The questioner : Circumstances.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : Should a person backbite people?
The Shaykh : What?
The questioner : Are there situations in which it is permissible for a person to backbite others?
The Shaykh : Yes, the difference between backbiting and talebearing is that backbiting is: "mentioning your brother with what he dislikes in his absence", by cursing him in his religion, or his character, or his appearance, or his work, or anything else. So if you mention him with what he dislikes in his absence, that is backbiting. They said:Sunan Abi Dawud 4874Sahih (Al-Albani) meaning: you defamed him in his absence. As for talebearing, it is conveying people's words about one another with the intention of causing corruption, such as coming to a person and saying: So-and-so says such and such about you, whether it is true or false. That is talebearing, derived from the verb for spreading a report when attributing it to another. And talebearing is greater than backbiting, for it is established from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family): Sunan an-Nasa'i 2069Sahih (Darussalam), so this is the difference between them.
And as for whether backbiting or talebearing is permissible?
This is looked at: if it is for a benefit, then there is no harm in mentioning him with what he dislikes if it is for a benefit. For example, if a man comes to you to consult you about a person he wants to deal with or marry, and you know that there is something blameworthy in him, then you may mention that thing. For Fatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) to consult him, as three men had proposed to her: Abu Jahm, Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, and Usamah ibn Zayd. She came to consult the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) about which of them she should marry? He said:Sahih Muslim 1480a Here you see that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned Mu'awiyah and Abu Jahm with what they dislike, but with the intention of advising, so there is no harm in that.
Likewise, talebearing: if you tell a person what another person is saying about him, and you see that this person is a friend of his and he trusts him, but this friend whom he trusts conveys his words to people, then you come to him and warn him, saying: So-and-so conveys your words to people and says such and such about you. This is also not harmful, and it may even be obligatory. The matter returns to: is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of backbiting, so you prioritize the benefit? Is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of talebearing, so you prioritize the benefit? For the Shari'ah is all wisdom, balancing between benefits and harms. So whichever prevails, the ruling follows it. If the harm prevails, the ruling follows it; if the benefit prevails, the ruling follows it. And if the two are equal, the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) said: "warding off harms takes precedence over seeking benefits".
The Shaykh : What difference?
The questioner : The difference between backbiting
The Shaykh : No, are there?
The questioner : Circumstances.
The Shaykh : Statements?
The questioner : Circumstances.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : Should a person backbite people?
The Shaykh : What?
The questioner : Are there situations in which it is permissible for a person to backbite others?
The Shaykh : Yes, the difference between backbiting and talebearing is that backbiting is: "mentioning your brother with what he dislikes in his absence", by cursing him in his religion, or his character, or his appearance, or his work, or anything else. So if you mention him with what he dislikes in his absence, that is backbiting. They said:
Tell me how the matter stands if what I say about my brother is true? He replied: If what you say of him is true, you have slandered him, and if what you say of him is not true, you have reviled him.
يا رسول الله أرأيت إن كان في أخي ما أقول؟ قال: إن كان فيه ما تقول فقد اغتبته وإن لم يكن فيه ما تقول فقد بهتهThe Messenger of Allah passed by two graves and said: "They are being punished but they are not being punished for anything that was difficult to avoid. One of them used not to take care to avoid getting urine on his body or clothes, and the other used to walk about spreading gossip.
أنّه مرّ بقبرين فقال: إنّهما يعذّبان وما يعذّبان في كبير، أمّا أحدهما فكان لا يستبرئ من بوله، وأمّا الآخر فكان يمشي بالنّميمةAnd as for whether backbiting or talebearing is permissible?
This is looked at: if it is for a benefit, then there is no harm in mentioning him with what he dislikes if it is for a benefit. For example, if a man comes to you to consult you about a person he wants to deal with or marry, and you know that there is something blameworthy in him, then you may mention that thing. For Fatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) to consult him, as three men had proposed to her: Abu Jahm, Mu'awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, and Usamah ibn Zayd. She came to consult the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) about which of them she should marry? He said:
As for Abu Jahm, he does not put down his staff from his shoulder, and as for Mu'awiya, he is a poor man having no property; marry Usama
أمّا أبو جهم فضرّاب للنّساء، وأمّا معاوية فصعلوك لا مال له، انكحي أسامةLikewise, talebearing: if you tell a person what another person is saying about him, and you see that this person is a friend of his and he trusts him, but this friend whom he trusts conveys his words to people, then you come to him and warn him, saying: So-and-so conveys your words to people and says such and such about you. This is also not harmful, and it may even be obligatory. The matter returns to: is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of backbiting, so you prioritize the benefit? Is there a benefit in that which outweighs the harm of talebearing, so you prioritize the benefit? For the Shari'ah is all wisdom, balancing between benefits and harms. So whichever prevails, the ruling follows it. If the harm prevails, the ruling follows it; if the benefit prevails, the ruling follows it. And if the two are equal, the scholars (may Allah have mercy on them) said: "warding off harms takes precedence over seeking benefits".