One of the questioners asks the Shaykh for advice regarding his wife’s marital defiance and her leaving the house.
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The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : Peace and mercy of Allah be upon you.
The questioner : Shaykh Muhammad?
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner : How are you, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah.
The questioner: By Allah, my master, I wanted to speak with you for a long time. I have had a problem for a while.
The Shaykh : Good.
The questioner: The one speaking with you is named Jamal Hayoun. I am married and have a son and a daughter.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: The children are small, meaning the child is seven months old. My wife, I do not know, she left the house without my permission. I did not let anything happen at all.
The Shaykh: So she left without your permission?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: She left in front of me, and I was present in the house.
The Shaykh: Yes, but did you give her permission?
The questioner: By Allah, my master, she says: I am angry, but that is not the important problem.
The Shaykh: All right.
The questioner: So she went to her parents’ house: “What is wrong with you, daughter?” when they saw her sad? She tells them, “I do not want him, see how it is!” And I must divorce him.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Okay, what is the reason? Her father, I do not know, tells her what happened there.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: He tells me that I was harsh with her in speech, meaning it happens in the house for two months, see how it is. So our brothers told us to consult our Shaykh so that he guides you to the right path regarding how to act, so that I please Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in my actions, see how it is?! Well, I wanted her, meaning it is not that I do not want her. I love her first of all, and secondly, we have a bond and we have children!
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: See how it is, meaning the destruction of the home, this is what it means.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: So what is the action, my master, that I can take so that I do not harm my religion, I am a Muslim of course, and I do not harm her and do not harm her family, meaning, consider that she and the girl, she has marital defiance in this situation!
The Shaykh: How long have you been married to her?
The questioner: We have been married for six years.
The Shaykh: Six years, and you have two children from her?
The questioner: A son and a daughter, the son is...
The Shaykh: We do not care about the details, you have two children from her, a girl and a boy!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: Okay, is there a previous divorce between you and her?
The questioner: No, there is not.
The Shaykh: There is not!
The questioner: Our whole life was stable!
The Shaykh: Okay, what made her leave?
The questioner: Regarding her leaving the house?!
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: She tells me, speaking to her family, that you hit me two years ago. I hit her two years ago, of course she was angry, why, because I was angry two years ago, what is it called, her father tells her, “Why were you angry about this two years ago?”
The Shaykh: Okay, is her father religious?
The questioner: Religious to the extent...
The Shaykh: All right.
The questioner: And the mother too.
The Shaykh: Okay, why do they not return her to you when you want her?
The questioner: He tells me, how am I supposed to return her against her will? Is he right?
The Shaykh: No, he is not right, he must return her.
The questioner: He says to me: How am I supposed to hit her, meaning or something like that?! I told him: By Allah, my uncle, do the action that you see is correct.
The Shaykh: Okay, is her mother alive?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: How is your relationship with her parents?
The questioner: Good, fine.
The Shaykh: Okay, they can convince her, my brother.
The questioner: They tried for two months regarding this, two months and they are convincing her, but the girl says: No, I do not want to return. Okay, why? Explain to me, her father tells her a convincing reason, give me a convincing reason so that I can face the man and we say we do not want him, see how it is?
The Shaykh : How old is she?
The questioner: The girl’s age is approximately twenty-six, twenty-seven, or twenty-six years old.
The Shaykh: We do not care about the precision, the important thing is these aspects, twenty-five is not small, meaning.
The questioner: So my age is not big, twenty-eight years old, older than her by one or two years.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: See how it is?! And by Allah, my Shaykh, I treat her like a small child, meaning I spoil her with spoiling.
The Shaykh: Does she have maternal uncles, does she have paternal uncles?
The questioner: She has an uncle, and he is the one who sent me to speak with you.
The Shaykh: My brother, these people should use their authority, and use their influence with her directly, and with her father and mother: that this is forbidden and this is not permissible, this is marital defiance, and she deserves to be beaten according to the Sharia, because Allah says in the Noble Qur’an:[An-Nisa 4:34] So it is not permissible for her to remain away from her husband, and her husband desires her. Therefore, my advice to you is that you use all means of her relatives until they convince her and return her to the protection of her husband.
The questioner: Okay, our master the Shaykh, honestly, I used their relatives and my relatives, I did not leave anyone out from the first day she left, see how it is, meaning, and I used to go to her, meaning.
The Shaykh: Okay, if you used them with her, there is no topic left except the Sharia court.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: This is the one who forces her, meaning by force, to return to the husband’s house.
The questioner: By Allah, there is no such thing in the court, I think.
The Shaykh: Okay, so what do you want from me? I have given you the answer.
The questioner: They say that she did not return, she filed for obedience, she did not return, okay, I will divorce her, you understand me, meaning, the court on this basis says this, I think. I did not go to a lawyer, honestly, at the beginning I said I want to turn to our dear Shaykh to ask him, no more and no less.
The Shaykh: My brother, this is the answer, the answer is that you use all means of persuasion for her to return to the marital home, if these means do not benefit, then there is nothing left except the court that has executive power.
The questioner: It comes by force!
The Shaykh: Be patient!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: So if the court also does not respond to you, then the last medicine is cauterization, which is divorce.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes, exactly.
The questioner: Okay, if for example the people accepted her and she returned, suppose, or they convinced her, how am I supposed to treat her? She will be in the house, she will be, meaning, as if the least word I say to her, I want to return to my parents’ house...
The Shaykh: My brother, I do not enter between you and her, may Allah bless you, these are private matters between you and her, so you are her caretaker and you are her guardian, so you must know how to deal with her as the Sharia commands, with wisdom and good admonition, but more than that.
The questioner: Our master the Shaykh, honestly, I went to one person, meaning, the people directed us to several fields, they told me it is possible she has something, the girl, this sorcery exists.
The Shaykh: No, no, this has no basis!
The questioner : As you can see!
The Shaykh: This has no basis, do not occupy your mind with the issue of sorcery.
The questioner: I went to him, I went to the men, he told me this is not sorcery.
The Shaykh: Do not go, we advise you, do not go.
The questioner: By Allah, I went to men and he told me: that this is not sorcery that she has, she has jinn, see how it is.
The Shaykh: Do not go, we are telling you, do not go, this has become a profession today, deceiving people.
The questioner: Does the work of jinn exist?
The Shaykh: My brother, may Allah guide you, I do not have time for you now, the people are waiting, you finish and they ask.
The questioner: Definitely, definitely.
The Shaykh: Yes, we do not have room for a lecture, I have shown you, I do not have it, and peace be upon you.
The questioner: And upon you peace.
The questioner: Peace be upon you.
The Shaykh : Peace and mercy of Allah be upon you.
The questioner : Shaykh Muhammad?
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner : How are you, Shaykh?
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah.
The questioner: By Allah, my master, I wanted to speak with you for a long time. I have had a problem for a while.
The Shaykh : Good.
The questioner: The one speaking with you is named Jamal Hayoun. I am married and have a son and a daughter.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: The children are small, meaning the child is seven months old. My wife, I do not know, she left the house without my permission. I did not let anything happen at all.
The Shaykh: So she left without your permission?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: She left in front of me, and I was present in the house.
The Shaykh: Yes, but did you give her permission?
The questioner: By Allah, my master, she says: I am angry, but that is not the important problem.
The Shaykh: All right.
The questioner: So she went to her parents’ house: “What is wrong with you, daughter?” when they saw her sad? She tells them, “I do not want him, see how it is!” And I must divorce him.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: Okay, what is the reason? Her father, I do not know, tells her what happened there.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: He tells me that I was harsh with her in speech, meaning it happens in the house for two months, see how it is. So our brothers told us to consult our Shaykh so that he guides you to the right path regarding how to act, so that I please Allah (Mighty and Majestic) in my actions, see how it is?! Well, I wanted her, meaning it is not that I do not want her. I love her first of all, and secondly, we have a bond and we have children!
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: See how it is, meaning the destruction of the home, this is what it means.
The Shaykh: Yes.
The questioner: So what is the action, my master, that I can take so that I do not harm my religion, I am a Muslim of course, and I do not harm her and do not harm her family, meaning, consider that she and the girl, she has marital defiance in this situation!
The Shaykh: How long have you been married to her?
The questioner: We have been married for six years.
The Shaykh: Six years, and you have two children from her?
The questioner: A son and a daughter, the son is...
The Shaykh: We do not care about the details, you have two children from her, a girl and a boy!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: Okay, is there a previous divorce between you and her?
The questioner: No, there is not.
The Shaykh: There is not!
The questioner: Our whole life was stable!
The Shaykh: Okay, what made her leave?
The questioner: Regarding her leaving the house?!
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: She tells me, speaking to her family, that you hit me two years ago. I hit her two years ago, of course she was angry, why, because I was angry two years ago, what is it called, her father tells her, “Why were you angry about this two years ago?”
The Shaykh: Okay, is her father religious?
The questioner: Religious to the extent...
The Shaykh: All right.
The questioner: And the mother too.
The Shaykh: Okay, why do they not return her to you when you want her?
The questioner: He tells me, how am I supposed to return her against her will? Is he right?
The Shaykh: No, he is not right, he must return her.
The questioner: He says to me: How am I supposed to hit her, meaning or something like that?! I told him: By Allah, my uncle, do the action that you see is correct.
The Shaykh: Okay, is her mother alive?
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: How is your relationship with her parents?
The questioner: Good, fine.
The Shaykh: Okay, they can convince her, my brother.
The questioner: They tried for two months regarding this, two months and they are convincing her, but the girl says: No, I do not want to return. Okay, why? Explain to me, her father tells her a convincing reason, give me a convincing reason so that I can face the man and we say we do not want him, see how it is?
The Shaykh : How old is she?
The questioner: The girl’s age is approximately twenty-six, twenty-seven, or twenty-six years old.
The Shaykh: We do not care about the precision, the important thing is these aspects, twenty-five is not small, meaning.
The questioner: So my age is not big, twenty-eight years old, older than her by one or two years.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner: See how it is?! And by Allah, my Shaykh, I treat her like a small child, meaning I spoil her with spoiling.
The Shaykh: Does she have maternal uncles, does she have paternal uncles?
The questioner: She has an uncle, and he is the one who sent me to speak with you.
The Shaykh: My brother, these people should use their authority, and use their influence with her directly, and with her father and mother: that this is forbidden and this is not permissible, this is marital defiance, and she deserves to be beaten according to the Sharia, because Allah says in the Noble Qur’an:
But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّThe questioner: Okay, our master the Shaykh, honestly, I used their relatives and my relatives, I did not leave anyone out from the first day she left, see how it is, meaning, and I used to go to her, meaning.
The Shaykh: Okay, if you used them with her, there is no topic left except the Sharia court.
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: This is the one who forces her, meaning by force, to return to the husband’s house.
The questioner: By Allah, there is no such thing in the court, I think.
The Shaykh: Okay, so what do you want from me? I have given you the answer.
The questioner: They say that she did not return, she filed for obedience, she did not return, okay, I will divorce her, you understand me, meaning, the court on this basis says this, I think. I did not go to a lawyer, honestly, at the beginning I said I want to turn to our dear Shaykh to ask him, no more and no less.
The Shaykh: My brother, this is the answer, the answer is that you use all means of persuasion for her to return to the marital home, if these means do not benefit, then there is nothing left except the court that has executive power.
The questioner: It comes by force!
The Shaykh: Be patient!
The questioner: Yes.
The Shaykh: So if the court also does not respond to you, then the last medicine is cauterization, which is divorce.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes, exactly.
The questioner: Okay, if for example the people accepted her and she returned, suppose, or they convinced her, how am I supposed to treat her? She will be in the house, she will be, meaning, as if the least word I say to her, I want to return to my parents’ house...
The Shaykh: My brother, I do not enter between you and her, may Allah bless you, these are private matters between you and her, so you are her caretaker and you are her guardian, so you must know how to deal with her as the Sharia commands, with wisdom and good admonition, but more than that.
The questioner: Our master the Shaykh, honestly, I went to one person, meaning, the people directed us to several fields, they told me it is possible she has something, the girl, this sorcery exists.
The Shaykh: No, no, this has no basis!
The questioner : As you can see!
The Shaykh: This has no basis, do not occupy your mind with the issue of sorcery.
The questioner: I went to him, I went to the men, he told me this is not sorcery.
The Shaykh: Do not go, we advise you, do not go.
The questioner: By Allah, I went to men and he told me: that this is not sorcery that she has, she has jinn, see how it is.
The Shaykh: Do not go, we are telling you, do not go, this has become a profession today, deceiving people.
The questioner: Does the work of jinn exist?
The Shaykh: My brother, may Allah guide you, I do not have time for you now, the people are waiting, you finish and they ask.
The questioner: Definitely, definitely.
The Shaykh: Yes, we do not have room for a lecture, I have shown you, I do not have it, and peace be upon you.
The questioner: And upon you peace.
Source
www.al-albany.com
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.