We wish to perform i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque) in the Sacred Mosque, but my father did not agree to my performing i'tikaf, and his reason is not convincing to me. ?
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The questioner : We wish to perform i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque) in the Sacred Mosque, but my father did not agree to my performing i'tikaf and brought up reasons that are not convincing to me?
The Shaykh : I'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque) is a recommended practice (sunnah), and dutifulness to parents is obligatory, and a recommended practice does not cancel an obligation, nor does it contradict an obligation at all, because the obligation takes precedence over it. And Allah the Exalted said in the Holy Hadith:.
So if your father orders you to leave off i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque) and mentions things that necessitate that you not perform i'tikaf, because he needs you for them, then the measure of that is with him and not with you, because the measure with you may not be straight and not just, because you desire i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque), so you think that these justifications are not a justification, and your father sees that they are a justification. So what I advise you to do is not to perform i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque).
Yes, if your father says, "Do not perform i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque)," and does not mention justifications for that, then you are not required to obey him in this case, because you are not required to obey him in a matter in which there is no harm to him in your disobeying him, and in which there is a loss of benefit for you.
The Shaykh : I'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque) is a recommended practice (sunnah), and dutifulness to parents is obligatory, and a recommended practice does not cancel an obligation, nor does it contradict an obligation at all, because the obligation takes precedence over it. And Allah the Exalted said in the Holy Hadith:
My servant does not draw near to Me with anything more beloved to Me than what I have made obligatory upon him
ما تقرب إليَّ عبدي بشيء أحب إليّ مما افترضت عليهSo if your father orders you to leave off i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque) and mentions things that necessitate that you not perform i'tikaf, because he needs you for them, then the measure of that is with him and not with you, because the measure with you may not be straight and not just, because you desire i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque), so you think that these justifications are not a justification, and your father sees that they are a justification. So what I advise you to do is not to perform i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque).
Yes, if your father says, "Do not perform i'tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque)," and does not mention justifications for that, then you are not required to obey him in this case, because you are not required to obey him in a matter in which there is no harm to him in your disobeying him, and in which there is a loss of benefit for you.