Combining gentleness and firmness in advice, or using firmness in one place and gentleness in another; each according to its context

The Shaykh : The point is: this is the general approach of the Messenger (peace be upon him) in dealing gently with people when they make mistakes. However, this is what I constantly and repeatedly emphasize on occasions like this: we should not understand that gentleness must always and forever be accompanied by advice or teaching. Sometimes—even in rare cases—there must be some enthusiasm and some firmness. As for enthusiasm, when it does not harm people but rather reminds them of the obligations in which they are falling short, this is the general nature of the Messenger (peace be upon him). So we mention the hadith of Jabir ibn 'Abd Allah al-Ansari, narrated by Imam Muslim in his Sahih: "The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), when he delivered a sermon, his eyes would redden, his voice would rise, and his anger would intensify; he was as if he were a warner to an army, saying: 'You have been destroyed and you have been struck.'" This was the nature of the Messenger (peace be upon him) in his sermons, because there is no specific speech for an individual that might wound him. Yet, in some cases as well, the Messenger (peace be upon him) was firm; there was no gentleness in that, because for every situation there is a suitable speech. Gentleness has its place, and firmness has its place.
It is reported in Musnad Imam Ahmad from the hadith of 'Abd Allah ibn 'Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: "The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) delivered a sermon one day, and a man stood up and said: 'What Allah wills and what you will, O Messenger of Allah.' He said: This is an approach that contains firmness without a doubt. If one of us today heard such a mistake, or rather such shirk (associating partners with Allah), from an ordinary person, and addressed him with the same language as the Messenger (peace be upon him), they would say to him: 'What is this firmness, my brother?' This is not firmness; this is the very essence of wisdom in such a matter. This Messenger (peace be upon him), who is described in the Qur'an as being of a great character, we must understand well that part of his great character is that he does not handle all matters in the same way, but rather he places gentleness in its place and firmness in its place. What does the poet say about gentleness and firmness?

Eid Abbasi : "Placing kindness in the place of the sword in high rank is as harmful as placing the sword in the place of kindness."

The Shaykh : This is old Arabic poetry, and wisdom, when a person deals with people's problems, requires him to use firmness sometimes. Our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is sufficient for us as a role model, for he uses this firmness, but contrary to the rule we mentioned earlier. Look at him, for example, when he hears a man praising his brother to his face, and he says to him: , , . So when the Messenger (peace be upon him) heard this man praising his brother to his face, he rebuked him with the word "waihak" (woe to you), as if he were invoking destruction upon him. Although the word "waihak" is sometimes used in a place that does not carry this rebuke and this severe warning, every meaning also has a suitable place for it.
In summary: this advice must always and forever be with gentleness, especially when someone seeks your advice, when he is asking you for advice. And there is another, very important discussion regarding advice, which I hope I will remember, and if I forget, remind me, in the previous lesson, may Allah will it, that discussion will be there.
Yes?

Another questioner : The following.

The Shaykh : How?

Eid Abbasi : In the previous lesson.

The Shaykh : ... This is from human negligence, so we ask Allah (Mighty and Majestic) not to make us among the negligent.

Those present: Amen.

The Shaykh : So our appointment, if Allah wills, in the next lesson will be a discussion of a topic related to advice, and that it may sometimes necessitate some things that many people think are not prescribed. And this is sufficient, and praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.