What is the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in his dealings with young children, given that we see some fathers displaying harshness in their treatment of their sons?

The questioner : What is the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in his dealings with young children, given that we see some fathers displaying harshness in their treatment of their sons? Please guide us in light of this.

The Shaykh : The Prophet’s (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) dealings with young children were based on compassion, mercy, gentleness, and consideration for their circumstances. To illustrate this, consider the story of al-Hasan when he came while the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) was prostrating in prayer leading the people. The boy climbed onto his back, so the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) prolonged his prostration. After they finished the prayer, he said: The second example: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) would lead the people in prayer while carrying Ummamah, the daughter of Zaynab, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). That is, he (peace and blessings be upon him) was her grandfather on her mother’s side. So, he (peace and blessings be upon him) would carry her when he stood and put her down when he prostrated. A third example: كان النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يخطب الناس فأقبل الحسن والحسين يعثران في أثواب لهما، فنزل النبي صلى الله عليه وعلى آله وسلم وحملهما بين يديه، وقال صدق الله: إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was delivering a sermon to the people when al-Hasan and al-Husayn came, stumbling in their garments. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) descended and carried them in front of him, and said: “True is the saying of Allah: ‘Indeed, your wealth and your children are a trial.’” This is a test, and he saw al-Aqra’ ibn Habis kissing a boy. Al-Aqra’ said to him, “I have ten children and I have not kissed them,” or words to that effect. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: And he said: As for what some people do in their treatment of young children, both boys and girls, where they treat them with harshness and severity, and when they enter the gathering they rebuke them and say, “Go away,” and perhaps they leave the gathering in a panic, as if they had been bitten, in order to take them away and keep them out of the gathering. This is a harsh treatment that is absolutely not permissible. If someone says, “I am afraid they will make noise or a commotion or the like,” we say: Wait until this happens. Perhaps some of the attendees will enjoy hearing the noise and the words that such young children might utter. The important point is that the guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) in dealing with children is a guidance of mercy, compassion, and tenderness. May Allah’s prayers and peace be upon him.

The questioner : May Allah reward you with good.