What is the obligation of fathers toward their children while they are young, before the age of puberty, and what is their obligation after they reach puberty?
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The questioner : What is the obligation of fathers toward their children while they are young, before the age of puberty? And what is their obligation after they reach puberty?
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for fathers toward their sons, daughters, wives, and those over whom they have guardianship to fear Allah the Exalted in providing good care, and to discipline them, teach them, command them to do what is right, and forbid them from doing what is wrong, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan ad-Daraqutni 3:5 It is not permissible for anyone to neglect this trust out of favoritism or consideration, for disciplining them and caring for them is in their interest, and neglecting them and leaving them to their own devices, whether they turn out well or badly, is a betrayal of the trust.
Many people give great care to their sheep, camels, and cows, such that if a sheep were lost, they would spend the whole night searching for it, not sleeping until they find it. Yet you find them neglecting their children and families to the utmost degree, treating them as if they had no guardianship over them, whereas they are accountable for them on the Day of Resurrection, for Allah the Exalted said in His Book:[At-Tahrim 66:6] So we are commanded to avoid what leads to entering the Fire, and to keep our families away from what leads to entering the Fire. And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: .
You find some guardians who indulge the foolish among their sons, daughters, or wives by providing them with what is forbidden, such as flutes, music, and the like, on the pretext that they are winning them over, whereas if they were to win them over by indulging them in some sins, they might escalate to worse ones. If they prevented them from sins in the first place, Allah would make it easy for them to raise them in the desired manner. How many people have neglected their families and left them to their own devices, only for them to become a source of harm to them, rebel against their obedience, and fail to fulfill the duty of being dutiful to them, because they neglected Allah’s right over them, so Allah neglected their right over them. Let a man fear Allah who has been given guardianship over his family, and let him know that strength in the name of Allah is more beneficial for him than being weak in the face of sins. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and bless you. The questioner Abdullah from Riyadh says.
The Shaykh : It is obligatory for fathers toward their sons, daughters, wives, and those over whom they have guardianship to fear Allah the Exalted in providing good care, and to discipline them, teach them, command them to do what is right, and forbid them from doing what is wrong, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Command your children to pray at the age of seven, and beat them for it at the age of ten.
مروا أبناءكم بالصلاة لسبعٍ، واضربوهم عليها لعشرMany people give great care to their sheep, camels, and cows, such that if a sheep were lost, they would spend the whole night searching for it, not sleeping until they find it. Yet you find them neglecting their children and families to the utmost degree, treating them as if they had no guardianship over them, whereas they are accountable for them on the Day of Resurrection, for Allah the Exalted said in His Book:
O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءامَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًاA man is a shepherd over his family, and he is accountable for his flock.
الرجل راعٍ في أهله ومسؤولٌ عن رعيتهYou find some guardians who indulge the foolish among their sons, daughters, or wives by providing them with what is forbidden, such as flutes, music, and the like, on the pretext that they are winning them over, whereas if they were to win them over by indulging them in some sins, they might escalate to worse ones. If they prevented them from sins in the first place, Allah would make it easy for them to raise them in the desired manner. How many people have neglected their families and left them to their own devices, only for them to become a source of harm to them, rebel against their obedience, and fail to fulfill the duty of being dutiful to them, because they neglected Allah’s right over them, so Allah neglected their right over them. Let a man fear Allah who has been given guardianship over his family, and let him know that strength in the name of Allah is more beneficial for him than being weak in the face of sins. Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you and bless you. The questioner Abdullah from Riyadh says.