My mother does not pray except in Ramadan, or rather, she may only pray if I am with her. I have advised her many times in many good ways, but she says that her work in the house does not allow her to pray.
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The questioner : My mother does not pray except in Ramadan. I have advised her many times to be consistent in performing the prayer, through religious tapes, booklets, and hadiths of encouragement and warning, using all means. However, she does not respond to this advice. She says that my work in the house does not allow me to pray, because I am a housewife and there is no one to help me with the household requirements, such as cooking, washing, and ironing, and so on. Perhaps she does not pray except when I am present, and when I travel, she becomes negligent and leaves some of the prayer times. What is your guidance, O Shaykh Muhammad, and what is your guidance for me? What should I do with her? Should I cut off relations with her and stop corresponding with her?
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them in excellence until the Day of Judgment:
My advice to this woman is to fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and to perform what Allah has made obligatory upon her, namely the five prayers in their times. For whoever abandons the prayer without an excuse becomes a disbeliever who has apostatized from the religion of Islam. And if he abandons it for an excuse until its time passes, such as sleep or negligence, meaning forgetfulness, then he prays it whenever he remembers it and whenever he wakes up.
I say to this woman: Fear Allah regarding yourself, for if you die while abandoning the prayer, you will die a disbeliever, and you will be gathered with Pharaoh, Haman, Qarun, and Abu Jahl. And Allah will forbid you from Paradise. For the Qur'an, the Sunnah, and the statements of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) all indicate that the one who abandons the prayer is a disbeliever.
As for the Qur'an, Allah the Exalted said regarding the polytheists:[At-Tawbah 9:11] The indication from this verse is that Allah conditioned the establishment of religious brotherhood on three conditions:
The first: repentance from shirk (associating partners with Allah).
The second: establishing the prayer.
The third: giving zakah (the obligatory alms).
As for repentance from shirk, it is a condition for the establishment of faith-based brotherhood by the consensus of the Muslims, for there is no brotherhood between a polytheist and a believer at all, even if he is his brother from his father and mother, for he is not truly his brother. For this reason, Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said to Noah (peace be upon him) when he said:[Hud 11:45] Allah the Exalted said: [Hud 11:46] So Allah the Exalted denied that he was among his family, even though he was his son, because he was a disbeliever. And the greatest severance and separation is that which is between the Muslim and the disbeliever.
As for establishing the prayer: The apparent meaning of the noble verse is that brotherhood in religion is not established unless one establishes the prayer. Its implication is that if one does not establish the prayer, there is no brotherhood in religion. And brotherhood in religion is not negated merely by sins, even if they are great, but the negation of brotherhood in religion only occurs through disbelief. Accordingly, the verse indicates that the one who does not establish the prayer is a disbeliever.
As for giving zakah: We say regarding it what we said regarding establishing the prayer, that the one who does not give zakah is a disbeliever who has exited the religion. Some scholars have said this, meaning that abandoning the giving of zakah is disbelief that takes one out of the religion. This is a narration from Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him), and it is the apparent meaning of the noble verse. However, this is contradicted by what is established in Sahih Muslim from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) who said:Sahih Muslim 987a The fact that he sees his path to Paradise indicates that he is not a disbeliever, for if he were a disbeliever, he would not have a path to Paradise.
Accordingly, the exclusion of giving zakah from this noble verse is established by the Sunnah.
As for the indication of the Sunnah regarding the disbelief of the one who abandons the prayer: It is established in Sahih Muslim from Jabir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with them both) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:.
And in the Sunan, from Buraydah ibn al-Husayn, that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:Sunan Ibn Majah 1079Sahih (Darussalam).
As for the statements of the Companions, Abdullah ibn Shaqiq, who is one of the well-known Tabi'un, reported from the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "That they did not consider any of the deeds whose abandonment is disbelief except the prayer".
And Ishaq ibn Rahawayh reported their consensus, meaning the consensus of the Companions that the one who abandons the prayer is a disbeliever.
And there is a fourth proof indicating the disbelief of the one who abandons the prayer, which is the theoretical proof. For it is not reasonable for a person to persist in abandoning the prayer, given its greatness and the honor of its rank among the pillars of Islam and its high status, while he is a Muslim who believes in Allah and the Last Day. This is impossible.
Based on this, we warn this mother who does not pray except in Ramadan from abandoning the prayer. And it is astonishing that she excuses herself with household affairs. I do not know how household affairs would occupy her from prayer in other than Ramadan, but not occupy her in Ramadan? Let her answer this question.
Then we say: The prayer does not take up a long time. That is, the entire prayer, with its wudu' (ablution), if it is a normal wudu', does not take more than an hour and ten minutes. But Satan plays with the minds of the children of Adam until he makes the easy and simple difficult for them, especially if the status of this thing is great in the religion of Allah. For Satan strives with utmost effort to discourage a person from it, because Satan disbelieved by abandoning a prostration to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) when he was commanded to prostrate to Adam, so he was arrogant and was among the disbelievers. And he wants the children of Adam to disbelieve as he disbelieved.[An-Nisa 4:89].
So this mother should fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) regarding herself and seek help from Allah. And if she performs the prayer, the prayer will help her with the household affairs. Allah the Exalted said:[Al-Baqarah 2:45] The time that passes by performing the prayer and what is required for it, such as purification and the like, Allah the Exalted places a blessing in the remaining time in which works are accomplished that would not be accomplished if the blessing were removed.
As for the son, the son has fulfilled his obligation when he was advising his mother, warning her, and frightening her, but she did not act on it.
As for his cutting off relations with her, it is to be considered: if there is a benefit in his cutting off relations with her, such that she repents to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and feels ashamed of what she was doing, then let him cut off relations with her, perhaps she will repent. And if his cutting off relations with her only increases her persistence and transgression, then he should not cut off relations with her.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.
The Shaykh : Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and may peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his family and his Companions, and those who follow them in excellence until the Day of Judgment:
My advice to this woman is to fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and to perform what Allah has made obligatory upon her, namely the five prayers in their times. For whoever abandons the prayer without an excuse becomes a disbeliever who has apostatized from the religion of Islam. And if he abandons it for an excuse until its time passes, such as sleep or negligence, meaning forgetfulness, then he prays it whenever he remembers it and whenever he wakes up.
I say to this woman: Fear Allah regarding yourself, for if you die while abandoning the prayer, you will die a disbeliever, and you will be gathered with Pharaoh, Haman, Qarun, and Abu Jahl. And Allah will forbid you from Paradise. For the Qur'an, the Sunnah, and the statements of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) all indicate that the one who abandons the prayer is a disbeliever.
As for the Qur'an, Allah the Exalted said regarding the polytheists:
But if they repent, establish prayer, and give zakah, then they are your brothers in religion
فَإِنْ تَابُوا وَأَقَامُوا الصَّلاةَ وَآتَوُا الزَّكَاةَ فَإِخْوَانُكُمْ فِي الدِّينِThe first: repentance from shirk (associating partners with Allah).
The second: establishing the prayer.
The third: giving zakah (the obligatory alms).
As for repentance from shirk, it is a condition for the establishment of faith-based brotherhood by the consensus of the Muslims, for there is no brotherhood between a polytheist and a believer at all, even if he is his brother from his father and mother, for he is not truly his brother. For this reason, Allah (Blessed and Exalted is He) said to Noah (peace be upon him) when he said:
My Lord, indeed my son is of my family; and indeed, Your promise is true; and You are the most just of judges!"
رَبِّ إِنَّ ابْنِي مِنْ أَهْلِي وَإِنَّ وَعْدَكَ الْحَقُّ وَأَنْتَ أَحْكَمُ الْحَاكِمِينَindeed he is not of your family
إِنَّهُ لَيْسَ مِنْ أَهْلِكَAs for establishing the prayer: The apparent meaning of the noble verse is that brotherhood in religion is not established unless one establishes the prayer. Its implication is that if one does not establish the prayer, there is no brotherhood in religion. And brotherhood in religion is not negated merely by sins, even if they are great, but the negation of brotherhood in religion only occurs through disbelief. Accordingly, the verse indicates that the one who does not establish the prayer is a disbeliever.
As for giving zakah: We say regarding it what we said regarding establishing the prayer, that the one who does not give zakah is a disbeliever who has exited the religion. Some scholars have said this, meaning that abandoning the giving of zakah is disbelief that takes one out of the religion. This is a narration from Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him), and it is the apparent meaning of the noble verse. However, this is contradicted by what is established in Sahih Muslim from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) who said:
If any owner of gold or silver does not pay what is due on him, when the Day of Resurrection would come, plates of fire would be beaten out for him; these would then be heated in the fire of Hell and his sides, his forehead and his back would be cauterized with them. Whenever these cool down, (the process is) repeated during a day the extent of which would be fifty thousand years, until judgment is pronounced among servants, and he sees whether his path is to take him to Paradise or to Hell.
ما من صاحب ذهب ولا فضة لا يؤدي منها حقها إلا إذا كان يوم القيامة صفحت له صفائح من نار وأحمي عليها في نار جهنم فيكوى بها جنبه وجبينه وظهره، كلما بردت أعيدت في يوم كان مقداره خمسين ألف سنة حتى يقضى بين العباد، ثم يرى سبيله إما إلى الجنة وإما إلى النارAccordingly, the exclusion of giving zakah from this noble verse is established by the Sunnah.
As for the indication of the Sunnah regarding the disbelief of the one who abandons the prayer: It is established in Sahih Muslim from Jabir ibn Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with them both) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:
Between a man and disbelief and shirk (associating partners with Allah) is the abandonment of prayer.
بين الرجل وبين الكفر والشرك ترك الصلاةAnd in the Sunan, from Buraydah ibn al-Husayn, that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said:
The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is prayer; so whoever leaves it, he has committed Kufr.
العهد الذي بيننا وبينهم الصلاة فمن تركها فقد كفرAs for the statements of the Companions, Abdullah ibn Shaqiq, who is one of the well-known Tabi'un, reported from the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him): "That they did not consider any of the deeds whose abandonment is disbelief except the prayer".
And Ishaq ibn Rahawayh reported their consensus, meaning the consensus of the Companions that the one who abandons the prayer is a disbeliever.
And there is a fourth proof indicating the disbelief of the one who abandons the prayer, which is the theoretical proof. For it is not reasonable for a person to persist in abandoning the prayer, given its greatness and the honor of its rank among the pillars of Islam and its high status, while he is a Muslim who believes in Allah and the Last Day. This is impossible.
Based on this, we warn this mother who does not pray except in Ramadan from abandoning the prayer. And it is astonishing that she excuses herself with household affairs. I do not know how household affairs would occupy her from prayer in other than Ramadan, but not occupy her in Ramadan? Let her answer this question.
Then we say: The prayer does not take up a long time. That is, the entire prayer, with its wudu' (ablution), if it is a normal wudu', does not take more than an hour and ten minutes. But Satan plays with the minds of the children of Adam until he makes the easy and simple difficult for them, especially if the status of this thing is great in the religion of Allah. For Satan strives with utmost effort to discourage a person from it, because Satan disbelieved by abandoning a prostration to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) when he was commanded to prostrate to Adam, so he was arrogant and was among the disbelievers. And he wants the children of Adam to disbelieve as he disbelieved.
They wish you would disbelieve as they disbelieved so you would be alike
وَدُّوا لَوْ تَكْفُرُونَ كَمَا كَفَرُوا فَتَكُونُونَ سَوَاءًSo this mother should fear Allah (Mighty and Majestic) regarding herself and seek help from Allah. And if she performs the prayer, the prayer will help her with the household affairs. Allah the Exalted said:
And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]
وَاسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلَّا عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَAs for the son, the son has fulfilled his obligation when he was advising his mother, warning her, and frightening her, but she did not act on it.
As for his cutting off relations with her, it is to be considered: if there is a benefit in his cutting off relations with her, such that she repents to Allah (Mighty and Majestic) and feels ashamed of what she was doing, then let him cut off relations with her, perhaps she will repent. And if his cutting off relations with her only increases her persistence and transgression, then he should not cut off relations with her.
The questioner : May Allah bless you.