How do we deal with the wrongs present in our homes?
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
The questioner : Our blessed Shaykh, may Allah benefit us with your knowledge and guide your steps.
The Shaykh : Amen, and likewise for you.
The questioner : Some young people, from their upbringing, have been walking with righteous and good young men, teachers and brothers, and then they see some wrongs in their home. How do they deal with these wrongs, with their parents and their family?
The Shaykh : Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, said to His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):[Ash-Shu'ara 26:3] and the meaning of is that you would destroy yourself if they do not believe.
And He said:[Ali 'Imran 3:20].
And He said:[Al-Ghashiyah 88:21-26].
So we say to this righteous brother: I ask Allah for his steadfastness, and I say to him: advise your family to the extent of your ability. If the desired outcome is achieved, that is what is desired. If it is not achieved, look at Ibrahim (peace be upon him) when he said to his father Azar:[Al-An'am 6:74], and he said: [Maryam 19:42].
And when he despaired of him, he said:[Maryam 19:47] until Allah, Mighty and Majestic, forbade him. When He forbade him, [At-Tawbah 9:114]
So I say to this brother: strive to advise your family, and bring them useful tapes, booklets, and messages. If they are guided, it is for you and for them. If they are not guided, it is for you and upon them. Then, if you are compelled to remain in the house because, as we tell him, because you do not have income that allows you to be independent, there is no harm in remaining. You should strive to stay away from watching forbidden things or listening to forbidden things, and isolate yourself in your room. And if you are able to go out, go out.
In this situation, it may be difficult for some young people because the father or mother might be upset with them. So we say: the upset of the father or mother can be removed by pleasing them and being accommodating. But the anger of the Lord cannot be escaped except by leaving what angers the Lord, Mighty and Majestic. Go out and do not worry, even if they are upset, please them, if Allah wills, either with money, or with help, or otherwise. Yes.
The Shaykh : Amen, and likewise for you.
The questioner : Some young people, from their upbringing, have been walking with righteous and good young men, teachers and brothers, and then they see some wrongs in their home. How do they deal with these wrongs, with their parents and their family?
The Shaykh : Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, said to His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):
Perhaps, [O Muhammad], you would kill yourself with grief that they will not be believers.
لَعَلَّكَ بَاخِعٌ نَفْسَكَ أَلَّا يَكُونُوا مُؤْمِنِينَdestroying yourself
بَاخِعٌ نَفْسَكَAnd He said:
then upon you is only the [duty of] notification. And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants.
إِنَّمَا عَلَيْكَ الْبَلاغُ وَاللَّهُ بَصِيرٌ بِالْعِبَادِAnd He said:
(21) So remind, [O Muhammad]; you are only a reminder. (22) You are not over them a controller. (23) However, he who turns away and disbelieves - (24) Then Allah will punish him with the greatest punishment. (25) Indeed, to Us is their return. (26) Then indeed, upon Us is their account.
فَذَكِّرْ إِنَّمَا أَنْتَ مُذَكِّرٌ * لَسْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ بِمُسَيْطِرٍ * إِلَّا مَنْ تَوَلَّى وَكَفَرَ * فَيُعَذِّبُهُ اللَّهُ الْعَذَابَ الْأَكْبَرَ * إِنَّ إِلَيْنَا إِيَابَهُمْ * ثُمَّ إِنَّ عَلَيْنَا حِسَابَهُمْSo we say to this righteous brother: I ask Allah for his steadfastness, and I say to him: advise your family to the extent of your ability. If the desired outcome is achieved, that is what is desired. If it is not achieved, look at Ibrahim (peace be upon him) when he said to his father Azar:
Do you take idols as deities? Indeed, I see you and your people to be in manifest error."
أَتَتَّخِذُ أَصْنَاماً آلِهَةً إِنِّي أَرَاكَ وَقَوْمَكَ فِي ضَلالٍ مُبِينٍO my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all?
يَا أَبَتِ لِمَ تَعْبُدُ مَا لا يَسْمَعُ وَلا يُبْصِرُ وَلا يُغْنِي عَنْكَ شَيْئاًAnd when he despaired of him, he said:
I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.
سَأَسْتَغْفِرُ لَكَ رَبِّي إِنَّهُ كَانَ بِي حَفِيّاًBut when it became apparent to Abraham that his father was an enemy to Allah, he disassociated himself from him
فَلَمَّا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُ أَنَّهُ عَدُوٌّ لِلَّهِ تَبَرَّأَ مِنْهُSo I say to this brother: strive to advise your family, and bring them useful tapes, booklets, and messages. If they are guided, it is for you and for them. If they are not guided, it is for you and upon them. Then, if you are compelled to remain in the house because, as we tell him, because you do not have income that allows you to be independent, there is no harm in remaining. You should strive to stay away from watching forbidden things or listening to forbidden things, and isolate yourself in your room. And if you are able to go out, go out.
In this situation, it may be difficult for some young people because the father or mother might be upset with them. So we say: the upset of the father or mother can be removed by pleasing them and being accommodating. But the anger of the Lord cannot be escaped except by leaving what angers the Lord, Mighty and Majestic. Go out and do not worry, even if they are upset, please them, if Allah wills, either with money, or with help, or otherwise. Yes.