How to Deal with Family Members and Relatives Who Commit Evil
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Our blessed Shaykh! May Allah benefit people with your knowledge and guide your steps! Some young people, from their upbringing, have been walking with righteous and good young men, including teachers and brothers. Then they see some evil in their own homes. How should they deal with this evil, with each of their parents and their household?
Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, said to His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him): [Surah al-Shu'ara: 3] And the meaning of [Surah al-Shu'ara: 3] is: He will destroy them if they do not believe.
And he said: [Surah Al Imran: 20] .
And he said: [Surah al-Ghashiyah: 21-26] .
So I say to this righteous brother: I ask Allah for steadfastness for you,And I tell you: Advise your family as much as you are able. If the desired outcome is achieved, that is what is sought. If it is not achieved, look at Ibrahim (peace be upon him) when he said to his father Azar: [Surah al-An'am: 74] .
And he said: [Surah Maryam: 42] .
And when he despaired of him, he said: [Surah Maryam: 47] until Allah, Mighty and Majestic, forbade him, [Surah al-Tawbah: 114] .
So I say to this brother: Strive to advise your family, and bring them useful tapes, booklets, and messages. If they are guided, it is for you and for them. If they are not guided, it is for you and upon them. Then, if you are compelled to remain in the house because you do not have an income that allows you to be independent from them, there is no harm in staying. You should strive to avoid watching forbidden things or listening to forbidden things, and isolate yourself in your room. And if you are able to go out, go out.
In this situation, it may be difficult for some young people because the father or mother might become angry with them! We say: The anger of the father or mother can be removed by pleasing them and being accommodating. But the anger of the Lord cannot be escaped except by leaving what angers the Lord, Mighty and Majestic. So go out, and do not worry. Even if they are angry, you will please them, if Allah wills, either with money, or with help, or by other means.
Allah, Blessed and Exalted is He, said to His Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):
Perhaps, [O Muhammad], you would kill yourself with grief that they will not be believers.
لَعَلَّكَ بَاخِعٌ نَفْسَكَ أَلَّا يَكُونُوا مُؤْمِنِينَdestroying yourself
بَاخِعٌ نَفْسَكَAnd he said:
then upon you is only the [duty of] notification. And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants.
فَإِنَّمَا عَلَيْكَ الْبَلاغُ وَاللَّهُ بَصِيرٌ بِالْعِبَادِAnd he said:
(21) So remind, [O Muhammad]; you are only a reminder. (22) You are not over them a controller. (23) However, he who turns away and disbelieves - (24) Then Allah will punish him with the greatest punishment. (25) Indeed, to Us is their return. (26) Then indeed, upon Us is their account.
فَذَكِّرْ إِنَّمَا أَنْتَ مُذَكِّرٌ * لَسْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ بِمُسَيْطِرٍ * إِلَّا مَنْ تَوَلَّى وَكَفَرَ * فَيُعَذِّبُهُ اللَّهُ الْعَذَابَ الْأَكْبَرَ * إِنَّ إِلَيْنَا إِيَابَهُمْ * ثُمَّ إِنَّ عَلَيْنَا حِسَابَهُمْSo I say to this righteous brother: I ask Allah for steadfastness for you,And I tell you: Advise your family as much as you are able. If the desired outcome is achieved, that is what is sought. If it is not achieved, look at Ibrahim (peace be upon him) when he said to his father Azar:
Do you take idols as deities? Indeed, I see you and your people to be in manifest error."
أَتَتَّخِذُ أَصْنَاماً آلِهَةً إِنِّي أَرَاكَ وَقَوْمَكَ فِي ضَلالٍ مُبِينٍAnd he said:
O my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all?
يَا أَبَتِ لِمَ تَعْبُدُ مَا لا يَسْمَعُ وَلا يُبْصِرُ وَلا يُغْنِي عَنْكَ شَيْئاًAnd when he despaired of him, he said:
I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.
سَأَسْتَغْفِرُ لَكَ رَبِّي إِنَّهُ كَانَ بِي حَفِيّاًBut when it became apparent to Abraham that his father was an enemy to Allah, he disassociated himself from him
فَلَمَّا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُ أَنَّهُ عَدُوٌّ لِلَّهِ تَبَرَّأَ مِنْهُSo I say to this brother: Strive to advise your family, and bring them useful tapes, booklets, and messages. If they are guided, it is for you and for them. If they are not guided, it is for you and upon them. Then, if you are compelled to remain in the house because you do not have an income that allows you to be independent from them, there is no harm in staying. You should strive to avoid watching forbidden things or listening to forbidden things, and isolate yourself in your room. And if you are able to go out, go out.
In this situation, it may be difficult for some young people because the father or mother might become angry with them! We say: The anger of the father or mother can be removed by pleasing them and being accommodating. But the anger of the Lord cannot be escaped except by leaving what angers the Lord, Mighty and Majestic. So go out, and do not worry. Even if they are angry, you will please them, if Allah wills, either with money, or with help, or by other means.