If a husband says to his wife, “If you buy a gift for anyone, I will not know you,” and this is to prevent extravagance in money and to avoid problems, is it forbidden?
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The questioner : If a husband says to his wife, “If you buy a gift for anyone, I will not know you,” and this prohibition, or this, is to prevent extravagance in money and to avoid problems, is it forbidden for him, even though he did not intend anything forbidden? Also, he had sexual relations with her on the same day when she returned to her place. We ask for your guidance, may Allah guide you?
The Shaykh : This man is in one of two states. Either he intends by his statement, “If you buy such-and-such, I will not know you,” to confirm the prohibition of her buying this gift. If his intention is to confirm the prohibition of her buying the gift, and then she buys it, the divorce does not take effect. Rather, it is obligatory for him to feed ten poor people or clothe them. If he cannot find the means, he must fast for three days. Feeding the poor people means either providing them with lunch or dinner, or giving them what serves as food for them. The amount is approximately two sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg) of rice, and he should add meat or oil to it.
The second state is that his statement “I will not know you” is intended as a divorce. In this case, if she disobeys and buys it, the divorce takes effect on her. It will be one divorce if two divorces have not preceded it. He will take her back, and she will remain his wife.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : However, before I conclude my words on this question, I advise this man and other Muslims. I advise them against being negligent regarding the matter of divorce and swearing oaths with it. For many people nowadays have begun to be negligent; whenever they want to swear an oath about something, they say, “I swear by divorce that I will not do it,” or he says to his wife, “If you do such-and-such, you are divorced,” or he says to someone else, “If you do such-and-such, my wife is divorced.”
All of this is among the matters that a person should not use in his oaths. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sahih al-Bukhari 2679 And success is from Allah.
The questioner : This message came from Jeddah from the sender, Maira al-'Utaybah.
The Shaykh : This man is in one of two states. Either he intends by his statement, “If you buy such-and-such, I will not know you,” to confirm the prohibition of her buying this gift. If his intention is to confirm the prohibition of her buying the gift, and then she buys it, the divorce does not take effect. Rather, it is obligatory for him to feed ten poor people or clothe them. If he cannot find the means, he must fast for three days. Feeding the poor people means either providing them with lunch or dinner, or giving them what serves as food for them. The amount is approximately two sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg) of rice, and he should add meat or oil to it.
The second state is that his statement “I will not know you” is intended as a divorce. In this case, if she disobeys and buys it, the divorce takes effect on her. It will be one divorce if two divorces have not preceded it. He will take her back, and she will remain his wife.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : However, before I conclude my words on this question, I advise this man and other Muslims. I advise them against being negligent regarding the matter of divorce and swearing oaths with it. For many people nowadays have begun to be negligent; whenever they want to swear an oath about something, they say, “I swear by divorce that I will not do it,” or he says to his wife, “If you do such-and-such, you are divorced,” or he says to someone else, “If you do such-and-such, my wife is divorced.”
All of this is among the matters that a person should not use in his oaths. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Whoever has to take an oath should swear by Allah or remain silent.
من كان حالفاً فليحلف بالله أو ليصمتThe questioner : This message came from Jeddah from the sender, Maira al-'Utaybah.