The ruling on one who forbids his wife if she does something he has prohibited her from doing

Question:
The listener (M. A. M.), an Egyptian, sent a message saying: A violent quarrel occurred between me and one of my cousins, and when I went home, I encountered my wife, so I started by saying to her: "If you go to my cousin's house, you are forbidden to me," and I did not complete the sentence: "upon me." This was a long time ago. A death occurred in my cousin's house, and I was in Iraq, so my wife went there without my knowledge. I have three children from her, and I did not bring up the matter of her going for the sake of the children. My relationship with her is normal, but I fear that my forbidding may have taken effect, or that I may owe an expiation. Please inform me, may Allah reward you with good.

Answer:
If your intention was to prevent her from going to your cousin's house, and not to forbid her or divorce her, then you owe the expiation for an oath: which is feeding ten poor people, or clothing them. Ten is the number of your fingers, and it is half a sa' for each person, by the sa' of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and the amount of that is approximately one and a half kilograms of rice, dates, or wheat, to be given to some of the poor, or clothing them, where each person is clothed with a shirt, as the Exalted said regarding oaths: [Al-Ma'idah: 89], the verse. A group of the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) issued a ruling to this effect, and this is indicated by the saying of the Exalted and Majestic is He: [Al-Tahrim: 1]. It came in the exegesis: that this was his forbidding of his wife, and others said: it was his forbidding of honey.
So the point is: if a person says such a statement: "If you go to my cousin's house, or to the house of so-and-so's family, you are forbidden to me," and his intention is prevention, then he owes the expiation for an oath if she goes to them. If, however, your intention was to forbid her, or to divorce her if she goes, then she is forbidden to you until you expiate the expiation for zihar, which is freeing a believing slave. If you are unable to do so, you fast for two consecutive months. If you are unable to do so, you feed sixty poor people, thirty sa' before you touch her, before you approach her. And if you have already approached her, you must refrain until you expiate this expiation. It is ordered: first, freeing a believing slave; if you are unable, you fast for two consecutive months, sixty days; if you are unable, you feed sixty poor people, thirty sa' by the sa' of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), and the amount of the sa' is approximately three kilograms, for each poor person half a sa', approximately one and a half kilograms for the sixty, before you touch her. This is if you intended forbidding if she went. But if you intended divorce, and did not intend forbidding, then one divorce takes place, and you take her back if there were not two previous divorces. If you had not divorced her twice before this, you take her back, and praise be to Allah. You say: "Bear witness, so-and-so and so-and-so, that I have taken her back," or you say: "I have taken you back, so-and-so." That is sufficient, and if two just witnesses are present, it is more appropriate and better.
As for if you did not intend to forbid her, nor divorce her, but only intended to threaten her, prevent her, and frighten her, and did not intend divorce or forbidding, then you owe only the expiation for the oath, and this statement has the ruling of an oath, as mentioned before, which is feeding ten poor people, for each poor person half a sa' of dates, or wheat, or rice, the amount of which is approximately one and a half kilograms, or you clothe them with a garment, each person a shirt ... or an izar and a rida' that suffices for prayer. This is sufficient if you did not intend divorce or forbidding, but only intended to threaten and prevent her. You should beware of such things and not use them. Yes.

The presenter : May Allah reward you with good.