And it is narrated from him that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), when he blessed a man upon his marriage, would say: “May Allah bless you and bless upon you, and join you both in goodness.”
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The Shaykh : Then the author said: “And it is narrated from him.” This is the new lesson. “And it is narrated from him” means from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), when he blessed a man upon his marriage, would say: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1091Sahih (Darussalam) It was narrated by Ahmad and the four, and al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Khuzaymah, and Ibn Hibban graded it as authentic.
“When he blessed a man upon his marriage, he would say.” His statement, “when he blessed a man,” means he prayed for him at his marriage, saying such and such. The root of the word is from *rafa'a* the garment, meaning to join its parts together, that is, to sew it and connect its parts. In the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, when they would *rafa'* one another, they would say: “With *rafa'* and sons.” By *rafa'* they meant connection, and by sons they meant males. That is, I pray for you with connection, and I pray for you with sons. This was because they disliked daughters:[An-Nahl 16:58-59] And in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, when a female was born to one of them, he would bury her alive. Do you remember any of the Companions who buried his daughter alive?
The student: 'Umar ibn al-Khattab.
The Shaykh : 'Umar ibn al-Khattab buried his daughter alive. Do you testify to this?
The student: That is what they said.
The Shaykh : Who said that?
The student: That is how they narrated it.
The Shaykh : Who narrated it? Yes, Ibn Dawud?
The student: The historians mentioned it.
The Shaykh : The historians mentioned it. Which of them?
The student: ... in the biographies.
The Shaykh : In which biography?
The student: By Allah, I do not remember, but if you wish, the contemporaries transmit it.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The student: The contemporaries who transmit it.
The Shaykh : The contemporaries transmit it, but the chain is extremely weak, with thousands of intermediaries between it and 'Umar.
The student: The statement of 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) ...
The Shaykh : It is not my intention to say that 'Umar buried his daughter alive. Yes.
The student: That it is not authentic regarding 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, and what he mentioned is ...
The Shaykh : What?
The student: I say that what the brother mentioned at the end ...
The Shaykh : is mistaken.
The student: It is this, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : The important thing is that 'Abd al-Mun'im and 'Abd al-Rahman ibn Dawud are verifying this issue because it is famous regarding 'Umar, but it has no basis. Therefore, it must be established, otherwise it is a false accusation. Good.
The student: We need time.
The Shaykh : Yes?
The student: I say we need time.
The Shaykh : There is no harm. In fact, if Allah wills, we will return from Riyadh.
The student: The exams.
The Shaykh : Yes, good. The exams, until they are finished, there is no harm. Good. In any case, in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, they would say: “With *rafa'* and sons,” because they disliked daughters and asked Allah to make this marriage one of sons, not daughters. And the wonder is that they disliked daughters and made them for Allah, saying that the angels are the daughters of Allah. May Allah fight them.[An-Nahl 16:62]
Good. “When he blessed a man upon his marriage” means when the contract was concluded for him with a woman, whether consummation occurred or not. That is, if the contract was concluded for him with a woman and there was no consummation, this supplication is prescribed. This supplication is prescribed. And if he proposed to a woman and she accepted, this supplication is not prescribed, because he has not married her yet. And the hadith says:
And his statement: The intended meaning is the male. And perhaps it is said to a female by her companions and friends, saying: Meaning in your household, that is, placing the blessing in them. And the blessing includes the blessing in knowledge, the blessing in morals, the blessing in care, the blessing in children. Whatever can contain a blessing is included in this. So, may Allah bless you in your household with an abundance of children, may He bless your household with good character and good care, may He bless your household with enjoyment and so on. The important thing is that He blesses you in your household in everything in which blessing can be found. And the scholars said that the blessing is abundant, stable good. Abundant, stable good, because it is derived from *barakah*, meaning the blessing of water. And the blessing of water, as we know, is abundant and stable. Abundant water is not like the water in a vessel, and it is also stable because it does not flow away.
And his statement: Meaning He sent down the blessing upon your household, that is, for your household. So, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) prayed for the man in his household and for his household in him.
And can it be said that the blessing here is general for his household and for him as well, meaning may Allah bless you in everything and may He bless upon you in everything? Is that possible or not? It can be said that it is general, and it can be said that it is specific. And what specifies it is the context of the situation, because the supplication has an occasion, so it falls upon this occasion.
And for this reason, we find that those who bless the newly married do not come to mind to bless him in his wealth, for example, but they intend to bless him in his household. So, it can be said that the generality here is not intended, even though the wording is suitable for it, because the context of the situation necessitates what? Its specification.
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1091Sahih (Darussalam) “Join you both” means between you and your household in religious and worldly goodness. It includes whatever goodness is possible. So, these are three sentences: Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1091Sahih (Darussalam) O 'Abd al-Rahman, how many sentences?
The student: Three.
The Shaykh : Three. Do you reflect on it?
The student: Three.
The Shaykh : Three?
The student: Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh :Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1091Sahih (Darussalam)
The *rafa'* of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, how many? Two, short in wording and short in meaning. And it is amazing that some of the foolish among us, when they *rafa'* someone, say: “With *rafa'* and sons,” returning to what? To the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. Returning to the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. And this is not permissible, because replacing the Islamic phrase established by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) with a phrase from the pre-Islamic age of ignorance that has been abrogated indicates that the person desires to turn away from the Sunnah and that he is desirous of turning away from the Sunnah. But the majority of these people are ignorant. The majority of them are ignorant; they do not know what the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, nor do they realize the danger of returning people to the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. Returning people to the pre-Islamic age of ignorance is a very great danger. For this reason, it is obligatory to erase everything related to matters of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance that Islam does not approve of, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:Sunan an-Nasa'i 1862Sahih (Darussalam) Yes.
May Allah bless you and send blessings upon you, and bring goodness between you.
بارك الله لك وبارك عليك ، وجمع بينكما في خير“When he blessed a man upon his marriage, he would say.” His statement, “when he blessed a man,” means he prayed for him at his marriage, saying such and such. The root of the word is from *rafa'a* the garment, meaning to join its parts together, that is, to sew it and connect its parts. In the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, when they would *rafa'* one another, they would say: “With *rafa'* and sons.” By *rafa'* they meant connection, and by sons they meant males. That is, I pray for you with connection, and I pray for you with sons. This was because they disliked daughters:
(58) And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. (59) He hides himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground? Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.
وإذا بشر أحدهم بالأنثى ظل وجهه مسودًّا وهو كظيم* يتوارى من القوم من سوء ما بشر به أيمسكه على هون أم يدسه في التراب ألا ساء ما يحكمونThe student: 'Umar ibn al-Khattab.
The Shaykh : 'Umar ibn al-Khattab buried his daughter alive. Do you testify to this?
The student: That is what they said.
The Shaykh : Who said that?
The student: That is how they narrated it.
The Shaykh : Who narrated it? Yes, Ibn Dawud?
The student: The historians mentioned it.
The Shaykh : The historians mentioned it. Which of them?
The student: ... in the biographies.
The Shaykh : In which biography?
The student: By Allah, I do not remember, but if you wish, the contemporaries transmit it.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The student: The contemporaries who transmit it.
The Shaykh : The contemporaries transmit it, but the chain is extremely weak, with thousands of intermediaries between it and 'Umar.
The student: The statement of 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) ...
The Shaykh : It is not my intention to say that 'Umar buried his daughter alive. Yes.
The student: That it is not authentic regarding 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, and what he mentioned is ...
The Shaykh : What?
The student: I say that what the brother mentioned at the end ...
The Shaykh : is mistaken.
The student: It is this, O Shaykh.
The Shaykh : The important thing is that 'Abd al-Mun'im and 'Abd al-Rahman ibn Dawud are verifying this issue because it is famous regarding 'Umar, but it has no basis. Therefore, it must be established, otherwise it is a false accusation. Good.
The student: We need time.
The Shaykh : Yes?
The student: I say we need time.
The Shaykh : There is no harm. In fact, if Allah wills, we will return from Riyadh.
The student: The exams.
The Shaykh : Yes, good. The exams, until they are finished, there is no harm. Good. In any case, in the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, they would say: “With *rafa'* and sons,” because they disliked daughters and asked Allah to make this marriage one of sons, not daughters. And the wonder is that they disliked daughters and made them for Allah, saying that the angels are the daughters of Allah. May Allah fight them.
And they attribute to Allah that which they dislike, and their tongues assert the lie that they will have the best [from Him]. Assuredly, they will have the Fire, and they will be [therein] neglected.
ويجعلون لله ما يكرهون وتصف ألسنتهم الكذب أن لهم الحسنى لا جرم أن لهم النار وأنهم مفرطونGood. “When he blessed a man upon his marriage” means when the contract was concluded for him with a woman, whether consummation occurred or not. That is, if the contract was concluded for him with a woman and there was no consummation, this supplication is prescribed. This supplication is prescribed. And if he proposed to a woman and she accepted, this supplication is not prescribed, because he has not married her yet. And the hadith says:
when he married
إذا تزوجAnd his statement:
when he blessed a man
إذا رفأ إنسانًاMay Allah bless you
بارك الله لكAnd his statement:
May He bless you
بارك عليكMay He bless you
بارك عليكAnd can it be said that the blessing here is general for his household and for him as well, meaning may Allah bless you in everything and may He bless upon you in everything? Is that possible or not? It can be said that it is general, and it can be said that it is specific. And what specifies it is the context of the situation, because the supplication has an occasion, so it falls upon this occasion.
And for this reason, we find that those who bless the newly married do not come to mind to bless him in his wealth, for example, but they intend to bless him in his household. So, it can be said that the generality here is not intended, even though the wording is suitable for it, because the context of the situation necessitates what? Its specification.
and bring goodness between you
وجمع بينكما في خيرMay Allah bless you and send blessings upon you, and bring goodness between you.
بارك الله لك، وبارك عليك، وجمع بينكما في خيرThe student: Three.
The Shaykh : Three. Do you reflect on it?
The student: Three.
The Shaykh : Three?
The student: Yes, indeed.
The Shaykh :
May Allah bless you and send blessings upon you, and bring goodness between you.
بارك الله لك، وبارك عليك، وجمع بينكما في خيرThe *rafa'* of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance, how many? Two, short in wording and short in meaning. And it is amazing that some of the foolish among us, when they *rafa'* someone, say: “With *rafa'* and sons,” returning to what? To the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. Returning to the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. And this is not permissible, because replacing the Islamic phrase established by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) with a phrase from the pre-Islamic age of ignorance that has been abrogated indicates that the person desires to turn away from the Sunnah and that he is desirous of turning away from the Sunnah. But the majority of these people are ignorant. The majority of them are ignorant; they do not know what the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, nor do they realize the danger of returning people to the pre-Islamic age of ignorance. Returning people to the pre-Islamic age of ignorance is a very great danger. For this reason, it is obligatory to erase everything related to matters of the pre-Islamic age of ignorance that Islam does not approve of, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: