The Ruling on Objecting to a Father in a Marriage of Shighar

Question:
A letter reached the program from the listener (A. H. A. Al-Otaibi). Our brother says in his letter: I request your guidance in this matter: I have a sister who is not married, and now she has reached the age of marriage. A man proposed to her and said to my father: “Marry me your daughter, and I will marry you my daughter.” The meaning, as indicated, is exchange, and my father decided to marry her in exchange. As we have heard that exchange is forbidden, I objected to my father— I am her brother— I objected to my father so that this marriage would not take place. But I have something in my heart: Am I sinful when I object to my father in such matters?

Answer:
You have done well in what you did, but it should be done with good manners and advice; because the father’s right is great. So, objecting to him should be done with good manners, advice, guidance, and directing him to ask the people of knowledge so that he may know the Islamic ruling.
This marriage that you mentioned is called: Marriage of Shighar, and some people now call it: Exchange; and it is: that a man marries his daughter or his sister or another of his wards, such as his brother’s daughter or the like, to another on the condition that the other marries him his daughter or his sister or another, or marries his son. This is not permissible, whether a mahr is named or not; because it is established from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that he prohibited Shighar in several hadiths from him (peace and blessings be upon him), from the hadith of Ibn Umar, the hadith of Jabir, the hadith of Abu Hurayrah, and others. And he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: , and he said: .
And it is established in Musnad Ahmad and Sunan Abu Dawud from Muawiyah (may Allah be pleased with him) that he wrote to the governor of Madinah regarding two men who married by Shighar and there was a mahr between them, so he ordered him to separate them, and he said: This is the Shighar that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) prohibited.
Some of the scholars have held the view that if there is a mahr like the customary one, then it is not Shighar, but this is a weak and rejected opinion. The correct view is that it is Shighar absolutely, whether there is a mahr in it or not, if each one conditions the other for marriage: “Marry me and I will marry you,” or “I will not marry you until you marry me,” or similar phrases indicating that it is a condition.
As for if a man proposes to a girl and she agrees, and then the other proposes and she agrees, without any condition, there is no harm in that. What is prohibited is the condition, that this one will not marry this one except on the condition of marrying his ward. And in this there is great corruption; among that is that he makes the chastity of this one the mahr for this one, this is the meaning in reality. And among that is that it leads to forcing women and wronging them for the benefit of the guardian. And among that is that it leads to many disputes and conflicts; whenever something happens between this one and her husband, something happens between the other and her husband. And this leads to harms that do not end. And from the wisdom of Allah (Glorified and Exalted is He) and His kindness to His servants and His mercy for them is that He prohibited this contract.
So it is obligatory upon the people of knowledge and upon every Muslim to warn people from this contract, and to obey the command of the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) in that. And in what Allah has made lawful there is sufficiency and contentment from what Allah has prohibited. Yes.

The presenter: May Allah reward you with good.