The ruling on one who swears by divorce that his wife will not wash his clothes
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Question:
The listener, Shaykh al-Sha'ibi (may Allah preserve him), from Yemen, sent a question saying: One day, a quarrel broke out between me and my wife over the matter of washing my clothes. After that, we exchanged angry words with intense anger. In that moment of anger, I said: "I swear by divorce that you will not wash my clothes again." Since that time, I have been washing my clothes in a laundry outside the house. If I want my wife to wash my clothes after this oath, because I need her to do so, is there a specific action I must take?
I hope you will inform me. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
This depends on your intention. It was not befitting for you to rush into divorce. My advice to every husband is not to rush into divorce. Even if he is angry, he should say: "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan," and he should never rush into divorce, even if the woman pressures him, even if she gets angry, and even if she demands it. Shaytan is present and he beautifies divorce for her and for her husband.
So what is prescribed for you, my brother, and for everyone, is to not rush into divorce until you are calm, and until you know that divorce is better for your religion and your worldly affairs, then there is no harm.
My advice to every woman is to fear Allah, not to rush in demanding divorce, and not to harm her husband in that matter, especially if her husband is good, a man of religion, and a man of righteousness. She should fear Allah, not rush in matters, and be patient with him, even if he dislikes her at times, or even if he causes her some harm at times. This is because a righteous husband is rare today, and a righteous wife is rare. A believer should hold on to a righteous wife and not rush into divorce, even if there is some deficiency in her. Likewise, if a woman has a righteous husband, she should hold on to him, strive to remain with him, and never anger him. Rather, she should endure, and strive to endure. If she gets angry, she says: "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan." She also says: "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan." Repeat this when angry, and the anger will subside. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw a person who was angry and whose neck veins had turned red from the intensity of his anger, he said:Mishkat al-Masabih 2418 So you, my brother, should also seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan.
This divorce that occurred from you depends on your intention. If you intended to prevent her from washing the clothes thereafter, and that you would do without her, and you wanted to frighten and threaten her with this divorce, then you may pardon her and expiate for your oath. It has the ruling of an oath. If your intention was to prevent her from washing out of anger at her, and you did not intend to separate from her if she washed your clothes, but only wanted to threaten her with this, and to be angry at her and harsh with her, and did not intend to separate from her if she washed, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath, and you must pay the expiation for the oath. It is feeding ten poor people. Feeding ten, where each person is given half a sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg), dates or rice, one and a half kilograms for each person, or clothing, one shirt for each person, or freeing a slave. Whoever is unable to do so must fast for three days.
However, if you intended divorce, intending to effect a divorce upon her if she washed, then it is one divorce. If you intended to effect a divorce if she washed your clothes, then if she washes them, one divorce takes effect upon her, and you take her back. You say: "Bear witness, so-and-so and so-and-so, that I am taking back my wife." Two good people from your neighbors or friends bear witness that you are taking her back. This is the Sunnah (recommended practice) if she had not been divorced twice before. If you had not divorced her twice before, but if she had been divorced twice before, she is not valid for you again except after another husband. But if you had not divorced her twice before, and you intended divorce if she washed your clothes, it is one divorce, and you take her back by having two people bear witness. You say: "Bear witness, so-and-so and so-and-so, that I have taken back my wife so-and-so," as long as she is in the waiting period.
However, if you did not intend divorce, as mentioned before, but only intended to prevent her and be angry at her and threaten her so that she would not wash your clothes again because of your anger, and did not intend to effect a divorce, nor to separate from her, but only intended to prevent her, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath, and you must pay the expiation for the oath. It is feeding ten poor people lunch or dinner, or giving each person half a sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg), one and a half kilograms for each person, of dates or wheat or other staple food of the country. May Allah guide them all.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
The listener, Shaykh al-Sha'ibi (may Allah preserve him), from Yemen, sent a question saying: One day, a quarrel broke out between me and my wife over the matter of washing my clothes. After that, we exchanged angry words with intense anger. In that moment of anger, I said: "I swear by divorce that you will not wash my clothes again." Since that time, I have been washing my clothes in a laundry outside the house. If I want my wife to wash my clothes after this oath, because I need her to do so, is there a specific action I must take?
I hope you will inform me. May Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
This depends on your intention. It was not befitting for you to rush into divorce. My advice to every husband is not to rush into divorce. Even if he is angry, he should say: "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan," and he should never rush into divorce, even if the woman pressures him, even if she gets angry, and even if she demands it. Shaytan is present and he beautifies divorce for her and for her husband.
So what is prescribed for you, my brother, and for everyone, is to not rush into divorce until you are calm, and until you know that divorce is better for your religion and your worldly affairs, then there is no harm.
My advice to every woman is to fear Allah, not to rush in demanding divorce, and not to harm her husband in that matter, especially if her husband is good, a man of religion, and a man of righteousness. She should fear Allah, not rush in matters, and be patient with him, even if he dislikes her at times, or even if he causes her some harm at times. This is because a righteous husband is rare today, and a righteous wife is rare. A believer should hold on to a righteous wife and not rush into divorce, even if there is some deficiency in her. Likewise, if a woman has a righteous husband, she should hold on to him, strive to remain with him, and never anger him. Rather, she should endure, and strive to endure. If she gets angry, she says: "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan." She also says: "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan." Repeat this when angry, and the anger will subside. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saw a person who was angry and whose neck veins had turned red from the intensity of his anger, he said:
he knew a phrase by repeating which the man could get rid of his angry feelings: “I seek refuge in God from that accursed devil.”
إني لأعلم كلمة لو قالها لذهب عنه ما يجد: أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيمThis divorce that occurred from you depends on your intention. If you intended to prevent her from washing the clothes thereafter, and that you would do without her, and you wanted to frighten and threaten her with this divorce, then you may pardon her and expiate for your oath. It has the ruling of an oath. If your intention was to prevent her from washing out of anger at her, and you did not intend to separate from her if she washed your clothes, but only wanted to threaten her with this, and to be angry at her and harsh with her, and did not intend to separate from her if she washed, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath, and you must pay the expiation for the oath. It is feeding ten poor people. Feeding ten, where each person is given half a sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg), dates or rice, one and a half kilograms for each person, or clothing, one shirt for each person, or freeing a slave. Whoever is unable to do so must fast for three days.
However, if you intended divorce, intending to effect a divorce upon her if she washed, then it is one divorce. If you intended to effect a divorce if she washed your clothes, then if she washes them, one divorce takes effect upon her, and you take her back. You say: "Bear witness, so-and-so and so-and-so, that I am taking back my wife." Two good people from your neighbors or friends bear witness that you are taking her back. This is the Sunnah (recommended practice) if she had not been divorced twice before. If you had not divorced her twice before, but if she had been divorced twice before, she is not valid for you again except after another husband. But if you had not divorced her twice before, and you intended divorce if she washed your clothes, it is one divorce, and you take her back by having two people bear witness. You say: "Bear witness, so-and-so and so-and-so, that I have taken back my wife so-and-so," as long as she is in the waiting period.
However, if you did not intend divorce, as mentioned before, but only intended to prevent her and be angry at her and threaten her so that she would not wash your clothes again because of your anger, and did not intend to effect a divorce, nor to separate from her, but only intended to prevent her, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath, and you must pay the expiation for the oath. It is feeding ten poor people lunch or dinner, or giving each person half a sa' (a dry measure of about 3 kg), one and a half kilograms for each person, of dates or wheat or other staple food of the country. May Allah guide them all.
The presenter: O Allah, amen. May Allah reward you with good.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.