The ruling on marrying a girl to a man older than her, and the reverse
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Question:
I am a twenty-five-year-old girl. My father married me to a man who is sixty-five years old, even though he did not consult me about it. However, I remained silent to please my father. I bore him a son and two daughters, and I was short in my social and marital affairs until my father passed away. After his death, we stayed in our house for a month, then we left and were neglected. I was four months pregnant, and so we left my brother, who is my guardian?
Answer:
A father marrying his daughter to a man older than her, if he sees the benefit in it, is not a problem. As for what people spread in this age about not marrying a woman to a man older than her, this is something with no basis and no justification. It is only from the misguidance of minds, the corruption of minds, and the lack of insight.
The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) married Aisha, and he was over fifty years old (peace and blessings be upon him). She was seven years old at the time of the contract, and nine years old at the time of consummation. There is nothing forbidden in this. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is the most perfect of people in every respect (peace and blessings be upon him), and he is the most sincere of people. So if there had been anything forbidden in this, he would not have done it (peace and blessings be upon him), nor would he have made it clear to the Ummah.
Muslims have continued from ancient times to our present time to marry men older than them and men younger than them, and there is no harm in that. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also married Khadijah, who was fifteen years older than him. She was forty years old, and he was twenty-five years old when he married her (peace and blessings be upon him).
So there is no harm in a person marrying a woman older than him, or a woman younger than him. But it is necessary to consult her, and it is necessary to take her consent. This is the important thing. If she consents to marry at fifteen, to a man who is forty, or fifty, or more than that, there is no harm in that, provided it is explained to her, and she is not deceived, and she is not tricked. If the matter is explained to her and she consents to it, there is no harm in that.
It is not permissible for anyone to speak about these matters without right. For its meaning is objecting to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). If one says: it is not befitting to marry someone older than her, the meaning of that is objecting to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), objecting to his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them all), and objecting to all the Muslims who married women younger than them. This is all invalid, and it is all reprehensible, with no justification. What the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) clarified and called for is consultation and taking permission from the woman.
He said (peace and blessings be upon him):Sahih al-Bukhari 6970 They said: O Messenger of Allah, she is shy. He said: (peace and blessings be upon him). So it is necessary that it be explained to her. And if she remains silent, and she is a virgin, that is sufficient. And if she is a previously married woman, it is necessary to take her permission verbally. And this girl, the questioner, when she remained silent, her father asked for her permission, and she remained silent; that was sufficient. And there is nothing wrong with her marriage, and praise be to Allah in all circumstances.
As for if there are matters between her and her husband, or between her and the heirs—if her husband has died—these matters of dispute between her and them, these go to the court, and the court looks into the dispute and quarrel between them.
As for the marriage itself, there is no harm in it, and nothing is wrong with it. Even if he is twenty years older than her, or forty years, or more, or less, if she is content with that, and is on clear knowledge, and has not been deceived, there is no harm in that, and praise be to Allah. How many an old man is better for a woman than a young man who is her age, or younger than her, or older than her. This returns to good conduct, good companionship, fulfilling the command of Allah, and fearing Allah in His rights regarding women.
I am a twenty-five-year-old girl. My father married me to a man who is sixty-five years old, even though he did not consult me about it. However, I remained silent to please my father. I bore him a son and two daughters, and I was short in my social and marital affairs until my father passed away. After his death, we stayed in our house for a month, then we left and were neglected. I was four months pregnant, and so we left my brother, who is my guardian?
Answer:
A father marrying his daughter to a man older than her, if he sees the benefit in it, is not a problem. As for what people spread in this age about not marrying a woman to a man older than her, this is something with no basis and no justification. It is only from the misguidance of minds, the corruption of minds, and the lack of insight.
The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) married Aisha, and he was over fifty years old (peace and blessings be upon him). She was seven years old at the time of the contract, and nine years old at the time of consummation. There is nothing forbidden in this. The Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) is the most perfect of people in every respect (peace and blessings be upon him), and he is the most sincere of people. So if there had been anything forbidden in this, he would not have done it (peace and blessings be upon him), nor would he have made it clear to the Ummah.
Muslims have continued from ancient times to our present time to marry men older than them and men younger than them, and there is no harm in that. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also married Khadijah, who was fifteen years older than him. She was forty years old, and he was twenty-five years old when he married her (peace and blessings be upon him).
So there is no harm in a person marrying a woman older than him, or a woman younger than him. But it is necessary to consult her, and it is necessary to take her consent. This is the important thing. If she consents to marry at fifteen, to a man who is forty, or fifty, or more than that, there is no harm in that, provided it is explained to her, and she is not deceived, and she is not tricked. If the matter is explained to her and she consents to it, there is no harm in that.
It is not permissible for anyone to speak about these matters without right. For its meaning is objecting to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). If one says: it is not befitting to marry someone older than her, the meaning of that is objecting to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), objecting to his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them all), and objecting to all the Muslims who married women younger than them. This is all invalid, and it is all reprehensible, with no justification. What the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) clarified and called for is consultation and taking permission from the woman.
He said (peace and blessings be upon him):
A lady slave should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is granted.
لا تنكح الأيم حتى تستأمر، ولا تنكح البكر حتى تستأذنHer permission is her silence
إذنها سكوتهاAs for if there are matters between her and her husband, or between her and the heirs—if her husband has died—these matters of dispute between her and them, these go to the court, and the court looks into the dispute and quarrel between them.
As for the marriage itself, there is no harm in it, and nothing is wrong with it. Even if he is twenty years older than her, or forty years, or more, or less, if she is content with that, and is on clear knowledge, and has not been deceived, there is no harm in that, and praise be to Allah. How many an old man is better for a woman than a young man who is her age, or younger than her, or older than her. This returns to good conduct, good companionship, fulfilling the command of Allah, and fearing Allah in His rights regarding women.
Source
binbaz.org.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.