Our relatives from my father’s side tell us that seventeen years ago, problems arose from the wife of my father’s relative, which led my father to swear an oath of divorce against my mother if this woman were to enter our home.

The questioner : Our relatives from my father’s side tell us that seventeen years ago, problems arose from the wife of my father’s relative, which led my father to swear an oath of divorce against my mother if this woman were to enter our home. The dispute between us and them lasted for seventeen years. Last year, my father wanted to end the dispute, so he took my mother and went to their house to reconcile with them. However, what happened was that this lady came to our house, and my father came and greeted her. He was embarrassed by her entering the house. So what must my father do?

The Shaykh : We say, before answering his question, that a person should not swear by divorce or by a vow. Whoever is swearing an oath should swear by Allah or remain silent, as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded. If a man swears by divorce regarding his wife’s action, saying, “If you do such-and-such, you are divorced,” or “I am divorced if you do such-and-such,” or something similar, then it is according to his intention. If his intention is that if his wife does that, he is pleased to be rid of her, he dislikes her, and he does not want to live with her, and she has disobeyed him in this matter, then if she disobeys him and does it, she becomes divorced, because this man intended divorce through this conditional statement. However, if the man who said to his wife, “If you do such-and-such, you are divorced,” or “I am divorced,” or something similar, only intends by this to warn her and caution her against this matter, and to emphasize it to her by mentioning divorce, then its ruling is the ruling of an oath. This means that if she disobeys him in that, it is obligatory for him to expiate the oath. The expiation is freeing a slave, or feeding ten poor people, or clothing them; he has the choice in that. If he does not find the means, then he must fast three consecutive days.
Based on this, we say to this brother: What is your intention in making the divorce conditional on your wife if this woman enters the house? If your intention is that you do not want your wife after this disobedience, and that you dislike her and want to divorce her and separate from her, then your wife is divorced by this. However, if your purpose is to warn your wife and caution her against this matter, and that you want her to remain your wife even if she disobeys you in this matter, then the wife remains, and you must pay the expiation for an oath.

The questioner : Yes, in the case where the divorce actually occurs, is it one divorce?

The Shaykh : Yes, it is one divorce.

The questioner : Yes, meaning: if it is the first divorce, he can take her back, or if it is the second?

The Shaykh : Yes, the first and the second; he can take her back. Yes.

The questioner : Yes.