What is the ruling on the divorce of an angry person?
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The questioner : I am a man of forty years, the father of five children. Since my marriage, my wife has changed the course of my life for the better through her conduct, and she is pleased and angry for the sake of Allah, so I have gained her respect and appreciation. I am not one who gets angry often, but when it happens, there is no power nor strength except in Allah, I become one who loses consciousness and I do not know what I am doing. I have often beaten my children and even broken my most valuable furniture. During these states, I have often sworn to divorce during my anger. I once asked a scholar, and he informed me that I owed an expiation for an oath, so I did so by feeding people with money. Another time, I asked the marriage officer about another situation, and he informed me that it was a revocable divorce because it was one count, so I issued a legal certificate to that effect. In all these cases, my wife was not the cause. My question is: Does the divorce take effect on me while I am in this state of madness when I am angry? If the answer is yes, what is the solution if I have used up the last divorce count, and I have never even thought of divorce, even in a dream? Are the first two divorce counts counted, or what is the ruling regarding them? Yes.
The Shaykh : It is my custom that when someone asks me for a ruling on a matter of knowledge, I do not give them a ruling. This is because I fear that people will play with their religious affairs; they ask someone they consider qualified for issuing rulings, and if he gives them a ruling they do not want, they go to another scholar hoping to find what satisfies their desire, what quenches their thirst and cures their ailment. This is a matter that is not permissible for a person to follow the dispensations of scholars in his religious affairs. Rather, the scholars have said that if a person asks a scholar for a ruling and believes that what he is ruling is the truth, it is not permissible for him to ask another scholar.
What I understood from this question is that you have divorced twice. As for the first time, you asked a person and he ruled that your divorce was an oath, and you paid money for the oath. In this case, it is not a divorce and it is not counted against you as a divorce. If you paid the money for feeding and clothing based on the ruling of the one who gave you the ruling, then you have committed to what you were ruled, and we do not address what happened. However, if it was based on your own independent reasoning, then Allah, Glorified and Exalted, only mentioned feeding and clothing in the expiation for an oath, so it is not permissible to deviate from what Allah, Glorified and Exalted, has specified. The money you spent for the expiation of the oath becomes charity, and it is obligatory for you to feed ten poor people from the middle of what you feed your families, or clothe them, as Allah, Glorified and Exalted, said.
As for the second divorce, you asked about it and the one who gave you the ruling said that the divorce took effect on you. In that case, one divorce count has preceded you regarding your wife, and you have two divorce counts remaining. What I advise you is to resist anger as much as you can, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked by a man, "Advise me," and he said: He said, "Advise me," and he said: He repeated it several times, and he said: It is also established from him (peace and blessings be upon him) that he said: meaning that the strong one is not the one who overpowers people and defeats them in wrestling Sahih Muslim 2609a.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So beware, my brother, of the surge of anger and break its intensity. If you feel it, seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan and perform ablution. If you are standing, sit down, and if you are sitting, lie down. Try to prevent this anger as much as you can. It should be known that anger is divided into three categories.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : One of them is that it reaches a point where a person loses his consciousness, so he does not know what he is saying, nor does he know where he is, nor what time it is. In this case, there is no ruling for his words, neither divorce nor anything else.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Even if he divorces and repeats the divorce in this state, the divorce does not take effect from him, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):Sunan Ibn Majah 2046Hasan (Darussalam) This is a state of being overwhelmed where he does not know what he is saying.
The second category is that the anger is in its initial stages, and the person knows what he is saying and is able to control himself. In this case, his words are considered valid, so if he divorces his wife in this state, the divorce takes effect.
The third category is in between; he is angry but does not control himself, not reaching the first level where he does not know what he is saying, where he is, or what time it is, but due to the intensity of his anger, it is as if he is compelled to divorce. This is a matter of disagreement among the scholars. Some scholars say that his divorce takes effect because he knows what he is saying. Others say that it does not take effect because he is overwhelmed, so he is like one who is coerced, where the intensity of anger compelled him to speak this divorce. This opinion is stronger, and it is strengthened by the fact that the original state is the continuation of the marriage, so this marriage cannot be dissolved except by a certain dissolver, because that which is established by certainty is not removed except by certainty.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you. The second question says.
The Shaykh : It is my custom that when someone asks me for a ruling on a matter of knowledge, I do not give them a ruling. This is because I fear that people will play with their religious affairs; they ask someone they consider qualified for issuing rulings, and if he gives them a ruling they do not want, they go to another scholar hoping to find what satisfies their desire, what quenches their thirst and cures their ailment. This is a matter that is not permissible for a person to follow the dispensations of scholars in his religious affairs. Rather, the scholars have said that if a person asks a scholar for a ruling and believes that what he is ruling is the truth, it is not permissible for him to ask another scholar.
What I understood from this question is that you have divorced twice. As for the first time, you asked a person and he ruled that your divorce was an oath, and you paid money for the oath. In this case, it is not a divorce and it is not counted against you as a divorce. If you paid the money for feeding and clothing based on the ruling of the one who gave you the ruling, then you have committed to what you were ruled, and we do not address what happened. However, if it was based on your own independent reasoning, then Allah, Glorified and Exalted, only mentioned feeding and clothing in the expiation for an oath, so it is not permissible to deviate from what Allah, Glorified and Exalted, has specified. The money you spent for the expiation of the oath becomes charity, and it is obligatory for you to feed ten poor people from the middle of what you feed your families, or clothe them, as Allah, Glorified and Exalted, said.
As for the second divorce, you asked about it and the one who gave you the ruling said that the divorce took effect on you. In that case, one divorce count has preceded you regarding your wife, and you have two divorce counts remaining. What I advise you is to resist anger as much as you can, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked by a man, "Advise me," and he said:
Do not get angry
لا تغضبDo not get angry
لا تغضبDo not get angry
لا تغضبThe strong one is not the one who wrestles
ليس الشديد بالصرعةbut the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.
وإنما الشديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضبThe questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : So beware, my brother, of the surge of anger and break its intensity. If you feel it, seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan and perform ablution. If you are standing, sit down, and if you are sitting, lie down. Try to prevent this anger as much as you can. It should be known that anger is divided into three categories.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : One of them is that it reaches a point where a person loses his consciousness, so he does not know what he is saying, nor does he know where he is, nor what time it is. In this case, there is no ruling for his words, neither divorce nor anything else.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Even if he divorces and repeats the divorce in this state, the divorce does not take effect from him, based on the saying of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him):
There is no divorce and no manumission at the time of coercion.
لا طلاق ولا عِتاق في إغلاقThe second category is that the anger is in its initial stages, and the person knows what he is saying and is able to control himself. In this case, his words are considered valid, so if he divorces his wife in this state, the divorce takes effect.
The third category is in between; he is angry but does not control himself, not reaching the first level where he does not know what he is saying, where he is, or what time it is, but due to the intensity of his anger, it is as if he is compelled to divorce. This is a matter of disagreement among the scholars. Some scholars say that his divorce takes effect because he knows what he is saying. Others say that it does not take effect because he is overwhelmed, so he is like one who is coerced, where the intensity of anger compelled him to speak this divorce. This opinion is stronger, and it is strengthened by the fact that the original state is the continuation of the marriage, so this marriage cannot be dissolved except by a certain dissolver, because that which is established by certainty is not removed except by certainty.
The questioner : Yes.
The Shaykh : Yes.
The questioner : May Allah reward you. The second question says.