The Ruling on Divorce in a State of Anger

This is a message we received from a suffering, confused listener—according to his own words—Salem al-Khalis ibn Matir from the village of Tullay al-Ma'az, Aleppo, Syria. He presents a problem of misunderstanding with his wife, which resulted in a divorce. He says in his message: I am a young man who has been married for seven years to a relative of mine. A year before the date of this message, a very severe quarrel occurred between me and my wife that lasted for more than three months. He says: After that, she began to hurl many insults and bad words at me, while I treated her kindly; because I am a believing young man who acts in a way that pleases Allah and His Messenger. The matter intensified, and every day for three months she added fuel to the fire and water to the clay, so she forced me to say to her: "I divorced you, I divorced you, I divorced you, I divorced you," meaning: more than many times. And when I uttered these words, I was in a state of extreme anger and absence of mind. I said these words with the intention that she would stop her obscene, terrifying words. She increased in that, and I repeated to her the words: "Divorced, divorced, divorced." Finally, the matter did not yield any benefit, so she sent for her father and he took her to his house, and she remained with him for more than a year. I did not agree with my family to take her back because of her fierce character and her terrifying, false words. Finally, they wanted to marry her to a man, but she did not accept marriage to any man. She said to her family: If you want to marry me off, I will drink poison and die, or I will burn myself with fire and be rid of life. During this long separation, she wanted to return to me, but I never accepted her as a wife because of her harsh treatment... and so on. Her family convinced me to marry her to them out of fear that she would kill herself, so I was forced to accept her. She has been with me for five days, and I have not approached her out of fear of sin and what is forbidden. I found that her character became good after this separation. He says: She gives me my full rights, respects me, and repents for the words that came from her. So what is the solution? By Allah, tell us quickly. And the question is: Did the divorce take place and is she no longer lawful for me? Is there not a fatwa for this problem? Please inform us, may Allah guide you.
Answer: If the divorce mentioned occurred from you in a state of extreme anger and absence of feeling, and you did not control yourself or restrain your nerves because of her bad words, her cursing of you, her insults, and the like, and you uttered this divorce in a state of extreme anger and absence of feeling, and she admits to that, or you have righteous witnesses who know that, then the divorce does not take place; because the scriptural evidence indicates that extreme anger, if accompanied by a change in feeling, is such that the divorce does not take place. Among this is what Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and Ibn Majah narrated, and al-Hakim graded it as authentic, from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: . A group of scholars said: "Ighlaq" means coercion and anger, meaning extreme anger. So the angry person has his matter closed over him, and his intention has been closed over him; he is similar to the insane, the mad, and the intoxicated person because of the intensity of the anger, so his divorce does not take place. And if accompanied by a change in feeling, and he did not retain what came from him because of the intensity of the anger, then the divorce does not take place. The angry person has three states:
A state in which the feeling changes: This is included with the insane, and his divorce does not take place according to all scholars, according to all people of knowledge.
The second state: That the anger intensified in him, but he did not lose his feeling; rather, he has some sensation and some reason, but the anger intensified in him until it forced him to divorce. This divorce does not take place according to the correct opinion as well.
The third state: That his anger is ordinary, not very severe, but ordinary like the anger that occurs among people, not severe, not forcing. This divorce takes place with him according to all scholars.
The questioner's case is either from the middle state, or from the severe state in which the feeling changed, according to what he mentioned in his question. So his divorce does not take place, and his wife is with him. There is no power and no strength except by Allah. We ask Allah for all of you guidance, righteousness, and a good outcome.