Who is more entitled to the custody of a child if his father is a disbeliever
Machine translationRead the Arabic original
Fatwa number ( 12440 )
Q: I am a Muslim woman from Sweden , writing to you about this difficult problem that has happened to me. Before I embraced Islam, I was married to a non-Muslim man, and we had a child whom I named Mustafa. We separated by divorce, and Mustafa’s father wanted custody of the son. I was afraid that he would use religion for his own benefit, so I and Mustafa’s father proposed that we make an agreement without the intervention of the court. We made the following agreement: 1 - That Mustafa’s father has the right to see his son for a specific time each year. 2 - Mustafa’s father commits to respecting Islamic traditions and not opposing Mustafa’s mother’s instructions regarding food and drink.
I will now relate the problem to you, and let me start from the beginning so that you understand the nature of my situation: When I became a Muslim, my mother was not pleased and hoped that I would forget about it for a while. But after several months, I married a Muslim man who practices Islam, so my mother had a hysterical fit. She kidnapped Mustafa, called his father, and contacted the police and social security, telling them false lies about me and my husband. She hired a lawyer and tried to evict us from our apartment. She wrote a letter to Mustafa’s father’s lawyer, telling him false things and hinting that I was not fit to care for Mustafa in any way. She said that I had become completely insane. In Sweden , an individual has the freedom to associate with the religion he wants, but it is natural that the law would be against him if he is a Muslim. Therefore, I was afraid because I would lose Mustafa. When I wrote the agreement with his father, it was not my intention to allow him to see Mustafa at all. I had hope of leaving this country in the near future and getting rid of this problem. But unfortunately, my husband has not yet obtained permission to reside. This means he has not obtained the Swedish passport, so we cannot travel anywhere. With the cooperation of my father and mother with Mustafa’s father, they helped him with money and securing many things, and they
are all doing anything they can against me and against Islam. I know that their intention is to influence Mustafa to turn him away from Islam, just as they tried with me before. They did many things against me and my family that do not fit in this letter. Now I direct these questions to you: 1 - Is it permissible for me to break the agreement I made under fear with Mustafa’s father so that Mustafa remains safe? 2 - Is it permissible for me to prevent him from seeing his father? 3 - Is it permissible for me to send Mustafa to another country? 4 - Is it permissible in this case for me to travel on my own, or do I need a mahram? 5 - Do my mother and father have the legal right to see their grandson, given that they are not Muslims and are working against Islam? 6 - Am I obligated to visit my mother despite her hostility toward me? I am very worried about Mustafa; perhaps a kind of contradiction will occur in him. Two months ago, he started studying at an Islamic school here in ( Malmö ), and he goes there every day to learn the Qur'an. He loves the school and his classmates. Although he is Swedish, he speaks Arabic better than Arab children, and he memorizes many surahs of the Qur'an. He is
very intelligent, praise be to Allah. But despite this, anxiety always afflicts me because I fear that his father will influence him to turn him away from the straight path. His father has a bad nature; I know that he lies when he says he respects my religion. This situation is very bad for a child. I am a mature and reasonable woman, and I feel strong in this religion. I can protect myself, but the child cannot protect himself. Is it logical or permissible in Islamic upbringing for Mustafa to see his mother praying one day and listening to the Qur'an, and the next day see his father practicing disbelief? Then Mustafa will be disturbed and not know right from wrong. I will appreciate you greatly if you answer this letter as quickly as possible. I want to do what I can for Mustafa and his future so that he remains a committed Muslim, if Allah wills. But I ask you to pay attention to this issue: Is it permissible in Islam for me to keep him away from his non-Muslim (disbeliever) father?
A: You are more entitled to your son Mustafa as long as his father is a disbeliever and you are a Muslim woman. He is ruled by his Islam following you, because a disbeliever has no authority over a Muslim. This is based on the saying of Allah, Mighty and Majestic, in His Noble Book in Surat al-Nisa:
[An-Nisa 4:141] , and the saying of Allah, Mighty and Majestic: [At-Tawbah 9:71] And success is from Allah, and may Allah send prayers and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions.
Q: I am a Muslim woman from Sweden , writing to you about this difficult problem that has happened to me. Before I embraced Islam, I was married to a non-Muslim man, and we had a child whom I named Mustafa. We separated by divorce, and Mustafa’s father wanted custody of the son. I was afraid that he would use religion for his own benefit, so I and Mustafa’s father proposed that we make an agreement without the intervention of the court. We made the following agreement: 1 - That Mustafa’s father has the right to see his son for a specific time each year. 2 - Mustafa’s father commits to respecting Islamic traditions and not opposing Mustafa’s mother’s instructions regarding food and drink.
I will now relate the problem to you, and let me start from the beginning so that you understand the nature of my situation: When I became a Muslim, my mother was not pleased and hoped that I would forget about it for a while. But after several months, I married a Muslim man who practices Islam, so my mother had a hysterical fit. She kidnapped Mustafa, called his father, and contacted the police and social security, telling them false lies about me and my husband. She hired a lawyer and tried to evict us from our apartment. She wrote a letter to Mustafa’s father’s lawyer, telling him false things and hinting that I was not fit to care for Mustafa in any way. She said that I had become completely insane. In Sweden , an individual has the freedom to associate with the religion he wants, but it is natural that the law would be against him if he is a Muslim. Therefore, I was afraid because I would lose Mustafa. When I wrote the agreement with his father, it was not my intention to allow him to see Mustafa at all. I had hope of leaving this country in the near future and getting rid of this problem. But unfortunately, my husband has not yet obtained permission to reside. This means he has not obtained the Swedish passport, so we cannot travel anywhere. With the cooperation of my father and mother with Mustafa’s father, they helped him with money and securing many things, and they
are all doing anything they can against me and against Islam. I know that their intention is to influence Mustafa to turn him away from Islam, just as they tried with me before. They did many things against me and my family that do not fit in this letter. Now I direct these questions to you: 1 - Is it permissible for me to break the agreement I made under fear with Mustafa’s father so that Mustafa remains safe? 2 - Is it permissible for me to prevent him from seeing his father? 3 - Is it permissible for me to send Mustafa to another country? 4 - Is it permissible in this case for me to travel on my own, or do I need a mahram? 5 - Do my mother and father have the legal right to see their grandson, given that they are not Muslims and are working against Islam? 6 - Am I obligated to visit my mother despite her hostility toward me? I am very worried about Mustafa; perhaps a kind of contradiction will occur in him. Two months ago, he started studying at an Islamic school here in ( Malmö ), and he goes there every day to learn the Qur'an. He loves the school and his classmates. Although he is Swedish, he speaks Arabic better than Arab children, and he memorizes many surahs of the Qur'an. He is
very intelligent, praise be to Allah. But despite this, anxiety always afflicts me because I fear that his father will influence him to turn him away from the straight path. His father has a bad nature; I know that he lies when he says he respects my religion. This situation is very bad for a child. I am a mature and reasonable woman, and I feel strong in this religion. I can protect myself, but the child cannot protect himself. Is it logical or permissible in Islamic upbringing for Mustafa to see his mother praying one day and listening to the Qur'an, and the next day see his father practicing disbelief? Then Mustafa will be disturbed and not know right from wrong. I will appreciate you greatly if you answer this letter as quickly as possible. I want to do what I can for Mustafa and his future so that he remains a committed Muslim, if Allah wills. But I ask you to pay attention to this issue: Is it permissible in Islam for me to keep him away from his non-Muslim (disbeliever) father?
A: You are more entitled to your son Mustafa as long as his father is a disbeliever and you are a Muslim woman. He is ruled by his Islam following you, because a disbeliever has no authority over a Muslim. This is based on the saying of Allah, Mighty and Majestic, in His Noble Book in Surat al-Nisa:
and never will Allah give the disbelievers over the believers a way [to overcome them].
وَلَنْ يَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ لِلْكَافِرِينَ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ سَبِيلاThe believing men and believing women are allies of one another
وَالْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتُ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاءُ بَعْضٍ
Source
www.alifta.gov.sa
The Arabic text is copied verbatim from the original source, without any edits.